Bachelor parties

Other fun times are the bachelor parties: sometimes you have a feeling that the school bus arrived. Grown-up men in their thirties, forties but they behave like overexcited teenage boys who see tits first time in their lives. I still don’t find the answer why that is. Maybe the peer pressure. Sometimes they pay a show or a private dance for the bachelor, otherwise, they just ogle with their eyes.

Every Knight goes through a special training to be qualified. These are called Bachelor parties. This is the total humiliation of a man so that later on he could bear his woman’s whims and tantrums. In South Africa they are more like fancy dress parties, bachelors entered the club dressed like huge babies wearing nothing just a big textile nappy. Others were dressed like Pink Panthers because women like to take care of babies and kittens. I remember I saw one guy with his arm in a plaster and he held a nursing bottle with alcohol in it. So he had the drink but he couldn’t drink it, sometimes his friends were kind and gave him a sip from their own glass. It was teaching him that after the wedding he can drink only when his woman allows him to, or when his good friend organises a short escape from home away from his woman. In Germany a poor bachelor was standing on the street with a huge carton table with a hole, you know the one he could stick out his head from, and everybody on the street could throw something at him from a basket. I couldn’t identify the objects, they were maybe some paintballs. All managed by his friends. Such good friends, he has!

And if you have never seen a bachelor party, here I write down how it is. I’ve seen a lot in Germany when the friends of the bachelor request a special show for him. It is usually a two-song entertaining. It starts as a normal dance on stage, the girl dances sexy, teasing him. Often there is a chair on the stage so she can give him a short lap dance grinding on him. When he is already in the mood, she takes off his shirt. She also goes topless. She demands him to kneel down on the ground while she takes off his belt. She puts the belt on his neck, sits on his back and asks him to walk around. This is the point when his friends start to scream and whistle and also laugh at him. The training is started. She rides him. Often she holds a riding-crop, if not she uses her hand to slap his bum a few times encouraging him to follow her request. Dear married men who went through similar training, don’t forget that moment when your wife asks you to put that picture on the wall the fifth time! Then she lays him down on the stage while she goes above him. More tortures follow. She puts some ice cubes in her mouth and is teasing his body with the ice taking it in turns with her warm and soft lips. He literally gets hot and cold from her like he will get from his wife in marriage. When he starts to enjoy the moment, she suddenly puts more ice into his pants – another moment when his friends cheer. Then she continues the tortures with candles and pouring wax on his torso. In the end, because he was brave to endure these abuses, she rewards him with red lipstick marks on his body and with a pen she writes love messages on it. When she finally lets him stand up, his body is wet and covered with wax, lipstick and pen marks, but she has not finished yet. She asks him to stand up facing the pole and she ties him up. She dances a bit pushing her boobs to his back and she takes off his trousers. She beats him up a few times with the belt. You can hear his friends from the side saying “Ouch!” and at the very last moment she takes off his underwear. So our bachelor is standing on the stage tied up, naked.

Alternatively, I’ve seen shows when after the riding the dancer also kneeled down, she put whipped cream on her bum cheeks and asked the bachelor to lick it, but when he was close to her she always made a move ahead. Like when the cat is playing with the mouse. In another show the dancer was more brutal when the bachelor was standing on the stage only in his pants, she grabbed huge scissors and cropped his underwear on both sides making a G-string for him. Well, a man has to deal with more torture in his marriage if he didn’t choose the right one.

But if the man has his own strength of character and is able to hold his own also emotionally, it’s no way for him to be intimidated. Some bachelors doing his part of the show just laughing along together with his friends. Like a ‘Come what may’ attitude.

(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

https://publioboox.com/en_gb/bedtime-stories-from-stripperland

Women in the club

It’s quite funny to see when a woman comes to the club and she tries to outdo the strippers. I told you earlier, there is such a big competition between the girls already, but some female customers want to show us she can get the same attention, without knowing anything about our job. She asks if she’s allowed to go on stage and do a dance. Usually, the little devil whispers in his ears and the manager doesn’t say no, just for fun. But for us, it’s just pathetic seeing a “normal” woman trying to spin on the pole and seduce the audience, just like we do. Yes, usually she’s drunk as hell, and her movement is uncoordinated.

She has no idea that dancing on stage is just one little part of our work, selling drinks, participating in mind games and dealing with difficult customers require more, than just having the courage to take off our bra in public.

Sometimes they didn’t even ask if they can go on stage; it happened in Belgium that two women came in with their partners, they ordered a bottle of champagne, and all night they were running around the club without their blouses. Although the worst, when a dancer of another club comes in and she wants to show off on stage that she’s better than everybody in the room. Women, eh? Do you believe now that it is such a competitive world?

In Luxembourg, I remember there were two men and a woman, they were colleagues and they came in after a company event. They were pretty pissed already but booked me in the open VIP lounge with a bottle of champagne. I, the stripper was elegantly sitting on the sofa drinking the champagne while the woman was taking the alcohol like a sponge. The guys begged me to do a striptease, but they didn’t want to pay for a private dance – and in that case, I don’t earn money – so I danced a little for both men but with my clothes on. Just for a little teasing, they might change their minds and be willing to pay for a private dance. Suddenly the woman thought she can do it better, she pushed me back to the sofa, and she started to “dance” in front of her colleagues. She took her top off, she was touching herself and rubbing her body to their crotches.

“Darling, you are way too wrong if you think this is my job!” I thought but said nothing. I was only wondering how she could look in their eyes the next day at work.

When the champagne was gone and she started to get in their pants, I decided to leave the table. There was nothing more left for me from the part of the entertaining and the sensual fantasies, she did everything to them.

I don’t compete with such a woman! They ordered one more bottle of champagne but they didn’t book another dancer. After 15 minutes out of curiosity I glanced to the VIP, it was open so I could see what was going on. One of the guys fingered her even then.

And people call me a slut because I’m a professional stripper! Isn’t it ironic?

My thoughts on dick pics

Once in London, I finished my shift and I was in a hurry to catch my night bus from Tottenham Court Road. I was at the bus stop when a young guy stepped in front of me holding his mobile close to my face.
Look!”
It was a picture of a – I suggest his – penis. It’s okay to be proud of your precious male part, but why do you think I want to see it, especially in this way of presentation? Is this the only thing you can offer to a woman, does it make you a man?

I don’t understand the male behaviour when they send a picture of their penises before sending a photo of their faces.
Lots of theories are out there, but I – as a simple woman – cannot understand that. I’m not talking about when the man is in a naughty mood with someone and the two are exchanging superheated messages and erotic fantasies. As a part of that, I have sent pictures of myself and I will. I’m not a prude. And in this circumstance, I find it natural to satisfy someone’s curiosity how you look or send a picture what kind of effect you make on the other person’s body in that very moment on the other end of the virtual world. In long distant relationships, they are a different question, it’s a reward to know that my partner is thinking about me even if he’s miles away.
But these unwanted R-rated sexual photos from guys are the biggest turn off for women.
If you’re a woman, have you ever received an unsolicited dick photo from a guy and thought, “What the hell was he thinking?” You’re chatting with some guy online, you think it might progress to a date and then, suddenly there is a random picture of his penis with the meaning: I’m ready for you! Or if you don’t answer their messages, they will show you what you’re missing out in this way. It’s surely not appropriate sexual behaviour or at least not when you want to get to know somebody.
I have to tell you dear Gents, those pictures are unwelcome. Most women appreciate a good body including the male part, but we are really turned on by the man’s intellect, his gentleness and his strength. I’d like to know these qualities before he expresses himself sexually, not vice versa.
Something about this particular type of exhibitionism is really irresistible to some men. Of course, women are also curious, but when we ask for these kinds of pictures or when we are happy to accept them, we are already turned on by the man’s other male aspects like the strength of character or intelligence. The female brain is wired in a totally different way than the male brain that’s why men can be turned on easier by visually sexy effects. Dear men, for the women it works differently, please try to understand that! Actually, most of us can be turned off by receiving this kind of treatment. I wouldn’t even want to know what these men think would be appropriate to send if we are in a relationship!
We live in an age of narcissism where many people believe that they are better than they really are, or sexier than they are.
Some guys out there are really into themselves and their phalluses, and they assume that the woman will be, too, and she will send a sexy picture to them in return. They might think in that way: “I showed you mine, now you show me yours!” Some of them are insecure about their penises and silently they ask for approval, others are uncomfortable to properly express themselves with words that they want to have sex with a girl, so they send a picture of their penises instead. Others use it as a form of sexual harassment.

Women do not find pictures of penises to be aesthetically pleasing at all. We find the whole man we like pleasing, not only his manhood. Men fundamentally misunderstand how most women feel about these type of pictures. And they truly believe it works.

(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine.

This lifestyle still holds so many secrets. Some people have no clue about it. Men see the pretty girl on stage doing some erotic moves and slowly taking her clothes off while they fantasise what they would do with her body in private.
Dancing is the best aphrodisiac as the soft moves of the body helps to unblock the sexual energies.
Men like to watch a woman dancing because they can keep an eye on her from a distance seeing her whole body as it moves with the rhythm of the music and makes her irresistibly desirable for them. I know exactly what effects I make with my performance. Men enjoy watching the dance while women are more judgemental towards us. This is totally fine. But I want to point out that we dancers are normal people just like anybody else. We also cry and share the same feelings. Sometimes we are desperate or confused, and sometimes we want to give up everything for a man we trust, just like those women who never worked in this nightlife. I’ve seen many movies about strippers life, being constantly drunk and taking drugs, being forced into prostitution. I must say I have never been forced to do anything I didn’t want to do.
Maybe I was young, naive or a little drunk when I stretched my boundaries, but I wouldn’t consider myself deviant because of that.
The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine. Until today I have no regrets about my choice. If I had a chance to change my life, probably I would do everything in the same way I did in the past. It’s not only the easy money, not even the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen but all the life lessons I’ve learned during this period. They made me strong without losing myself. They opened my eyes but still kept me cautious at the same time. I’ve learned a lot about myself, but most importantly I’ve learned how to handle my limits and how to push my boundaries further.
 
(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

Men, gentlemen, guys

I have good news for you: my book is finally finished! The most exciting period is yet to come, to find a publisher or literary agent whom I can establish a good relationship for my future plans. Difficult, but it’s not impossible. If I could have reached the point where I’m standing now, there is nothing to stop me from achieving my goals.
I had amazing years of experience in nightlife working as an exotic dancer what made me who I am today and shaped my opinion about men and relationships.
During my work I have realised lots of men don’t know how to approach a dancer, this points to the fact that lots of men don’t know how to approach a woman. The book is about how they shouldn’t approach a dancer or a woman. I didn’t want to write an erotic novel, just to share certain situations and facts about what’s happening in clubs. The main idea was while the whole world is judgemental towards strippers, nobody really talks about those men who have to resort to our service and how they behave.  I bared the social stigma for long enough. People judged me for who I am and what I do, this time let me judge other people, first of all, men who come to the clubs. Because these clubs will exist until men have the desire to come in, but nobody judges them for this pastime. I found lots of books written by sex workers, like The Girlfriend Experience by Rebecca Dakin, but not many strippers wrote books about their work. Maybe there are some books on the American market, but there they have a different style and system in clubs than we have in Europe. The books I’ve read about the stripping industry were more like social studies.
My book is basically a bunch of my stories from the blog about strip clubs but focusing on the behaviour of the average customers. I wrote it with the same openness and honesty as I wrote on my blog. The book is based on Prince Charming and fairy tales, because I haven’t met lots of Prince Charming in those clubs, but more often other characters of fairy tales, like the Big Bad Wolf or the childish Peter Pan.
Growing older I must say I haven’t met my Prince Charming yet. Some good Prince Charming material yes, who had the potential but indeed I met lots of Prince Charmless.
Just for fun, I put them and their stories into 12 categories. I don’t want to give an impression that I was dating a lot but if we think about it, every introduction to a customer is like a date when I want to gain his attention and seduce him to get in the private, while he’s offering me drinks. I’m quite judgemental towards men, it’s true. As one of my friends say, the book is harsh and he thinks it can be successful, but he’s happy that he’s not the man who wants to impress me though.
My future plan is to work as a dating coach, I have finished the course this year and to write more books. I’m not thinking about writing self-help books on dating as there are so many already on the market but talking about real relationship issues in fiction. I already have further ideas for other books. Another privilege of me besides being smart, that I’m pretty. Seriously talking, I’ve done some modelling and I’m pretty comfortable front of the camera so I think photo materials could complete the image of a sexy writer as I’m planning to cooperate with more photographers in the future and create more high-quality photos.
My book has been overviewed by two of my friends, one is a photographer and writer himself but he has never been in a strip club in his entire life, the other friend knows every bit of this word and I know him from a club. For the result, both the opinion and support were used for the final touch on the book. Here I’d like to thank them for their help and I’m thankful for those who don’t lose hope in me during this period.

https://publioboox.com/en_gb/bedtime-stories-from-stripperland