Letters to the prison

It can be stressful if someone you know has been sent to prison but we have to take care of our dear regular customers, even when they go through a hard time.

For me, he was not only a regular of the club but a kind of friend, a valuable person with a big heart for his friends and family and one of the most caring men I’ve ever met.

I’m thinking a lot about him and how someone’s life can change in such a short time. He was almost sure they can’t catch him. He was smart, but he trusted the wrong person and some of his so-called ‘friends’ took advantage of him. Someone who maybe was jealous of him or someone who got in trouble and to save his life needed to sacrifice someone’s else.
I was aware of his drug addiction and had the sense that he was also selling it, although we never talked about it openly. Many people who visited me in clubs were in the same shoes. The night clubs attract all of the junkies, gangsters, drug addicts, dealers. Maybe their families didn’t even notice but we, night people see a different face of the clients (and that’s often the real one).
Also, this customer of mine was negative. Many negative things happened around him, one of his friends passed away, other friend went back to prison, other lost the restaurant because of gambling and drugs, and all dragged him in the current situation. It’s like when bad things happen around you, you attract more negativity. Lately, he was drinking a lot, plus the drugs, not like before for fun and party, but like someone who carries lots of pain. He was a regular in the club where I was working time by time, and all the girls were worried about him. One of them told me he was depressed since his friend died and was drinking because he needed to forget it. The boss was also thinking about her pocket, but she was scared too that he might do something stupid to himself. He set up himself on the negative spiral that pulled him down to the black hole and dragged him to hell. Into his personalised hell. And now he’s sitting in the middle of his worst nightmare.

I wish I could see it earlier, and maybe I could change his negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones. I don’t blame myself, but surely, I was selfish and didn’t realise what was going on around him. I was busy chasing my own dreams.

One girl from the club told me what’s happened, then I immediately got in touch with his friend who told me the things don’t look so good, but he has a good lawyer. I was trying to contact him, I even wrote an email to the prison near his town asking if he’s there, but the answer was that I could write a letter, if he’s there he will get it if not, they would send it back to me. How helpful! Then I was thinking to contact his family (I’ve met his father before). I just wanted his family to know that he has my support and I’m hoping for the best for him. I didn’t want to contact him during the investigation period. The only reason why I was hesitating because I know him from a strip club, and what people usually think about strip clubs? Drugs and prostitution… I thought it would be better to wait until the investigation has finished. I knew he would understand it.

I had mixed feelings of anger, sadness and a desire to support him, but I felt powerless and confused. I was worried about him. I know it was one of his biggest fear to go to prison. Once he told me if he ever goes to jail, he will not get out from there alive.

Many questions were in my head. Is he also going through a drug rehabilitation program? Is there anything I can do for him? Would it be possible to write him some encouraging words? How is the family? I suppose they didn’t know much about his drug addiction. Were they shocked? I was lethargic for a few days after I heard what’s happened. I had no idea how he feels, what he could do there. I couldn’t even imagine how his days are passing by.
Then he asked his family to contact me and let me know about what was happening. Regrettably, at the moment he was not able to write to me himself. They told me he had a problem with the police and he was detained in prison during the investigation and no one knows what was really going on. He is a truly good person and is always there to help his family and friends. Since he was arrested, his true friends have supported him and the family emotionally and financially for the lawyers. This hard time has shown who are true friends and who are not.
One way to offer support is by writing a letter of encouragement to him, letting him know that I’m thinking about him and sending him my best wishes and good thoughts his way. Writing letters has always been my choice, it helps me to express those emotions in a controlled way, giving me time to think about what I want to say. Just needed to realise that all the letters I write to him will be opened and read by the judge and the state attorney. So, I must be very careful and not mentioning anything about the investigation or case, especially nothing about drugs.
I believe that everything that happens to us has a higher purpose, even we don’t see it at that very moment, but we will understand when we look back. And what happened to him was the only way to stop him from this self-destructive habits and make him rethink his life. I’m also the person who’s seeking a little positivity in every bad situation. We have to take responsibility for our own acts. He knows he can’t carry on drinking and partying like before. He can’t continue where he stopped. I think the current situation will change him a better one, and I wish him the strength to hang in there. I know it’s not easy to find any positivity there, but at least we should try. I wish him to be strong and don’t let people who love him down. The world hasn’t ended yet, only is changing. Changing for a better one. And that sets him on a healthier path for the future.

I want to show him the light at the end of the tunnel. Because there is surely a light, maybe we just can’t see it right now. We just want to see the darkness.

He needs to break his negative thoughts and don’t sink into self-pity. He’s in there, alone in the room, no TV, nobody to talk to and can go out to get some fresh air one hour per day. The worst thing is he doesn’t know when they set him free. But he needs to motivate himself, read books, get new information, study something, make new plans. Anything just doesn’t lose himself.
Finally, I’ve written to him and got a reply very soon. His letter was full of jokes, so I believe he’s okay. He’s doing very well considering where he is. He still doesn’t know how long he’ll have to stay, but I hope he’ll be home soon. And I’m here for him writing him some jokes in the letter as well as stories that will lift his spirits. Even if our contact is limited during this time, it is crucial to let him know that whenever he needs me as a shoulder to lean on, I will be there. He spent an enormous amount of money on me in the club, I can’t show my back to him now. I want to support him continually. He’s worthy and loved, people believe in him and count on him. He decided to enter drug rehab. He always thought he could control his addictions, but indeed, they controlled his body and mind. I’m proud of his decision and providing him with the determination needed to work through the many challenges that he will face during this time spent in prison.

Welcome to Hungary – Budapest, the movie

When you think about funny movies about wild bachelor party-planning with sex, drugs and rock&roll, ‘The Hangover’ comes first to mind. If you liked it, you will like the Budapest too. Critics say the movie is full of stereotypes, that Budapest is an elegant city, much nicer and sophisticated than portrayed in the movie and the directors attempt to insult people of Hungary. Indeed, some of the things in the movie were a bit exaggerated, although it’s true, after the fall of communism, some people made money offering options like to drive tanks or to fire with a Kalashnikov. But this is a movie, a comedy, nothing to take too seriously. Honestly, I don’t see the problem with this movie, overall it’s a fine comedy, it’s funny and it delivers laughs for when you don’t want to think too much.

Spoiler: Two best friends, Vincent and Arnaud stuck in boring jobs after studying at a French business school. On the occasion of a stag night, they meet a stripper who tells them about the city of Budapest. Arnaud then had the idea to create a company that would organize bachelor parties. Vincent and Arnaud are embarking on this unprecedented adventure with the help of Georgio, an expat who will help them discover the secret life of the city. They become bachelor party planners to escape the corporate rat race, promising to fulfil their clients’ wildest dreams. More and more customers are coming to Budapest, the money starts rolling in, but their lives begin to unravel as the requests get more and more outlandish.

The movie is very funny and knowing that is inspired by the real story of Aurélien Boudier and Alexandre Martucci makes it more interesting. These two college friends are the founders of Crazy-EVG, an organization of crazy stag nights, you can really visit their website and book these trips. It’s a pity that the site is only in French though.

Why is Budapest a good place for a bachelor party? Cliché or not, the Hungarian capital is a place filled with young tourist from every country, huge clubs where alcohol flows freely and beautiful girls. 4Play Lounge advertises itself as the best and safest strip club in Budapest, ideal for organising bachelor parties. In my first book, I said not so nice things about strip clubs’ safety in Budapest as I’ve heard from people that overcharging and robbing customers were common, but that was before I worked at 4Play a few days last summer. (Yes, it was only a few days, you know me, I prefer to travel.) 4Play Lounge focuses on customer’s safety and satisfaction, they keep the club a safe and fun environment, I truly can recommend them.

In the movie, they offer the guys a dream program such as driving a tank, shooting AK-47, limo, striptease, and so on. How does a strip club make a bachelor party special? What kind of program do they offer? Find it out: https://www.4playlounge.com/

We are more than ‘just’ strippers

I started the blog to tell my own little secrets and experiences about the stripper’s life, but I’m more and more determined and want to do something for the sex worker community.

I’m a stripper and a writer. I write books about my experiences as a dancer (good and bad, but totally honest) and try to fight against the social stigma that we have to wear. I already have one book I wrote about the average customers of the clubs because we are judged by society but no one talks about those who come to the clubs with their requests. The book I’m currently working on will be about what’s happening in the private, slut-shaming, sex, strippers’ relationships and so on and I’d like to use a few words, stories and opinion of other strippers too. If you’d like to share your opinion with me that could fit in the book, it would be very much appreciated. (with your stripper’s name, age, and country)

What would be your few words message to the ‘normal’ world about our life? If you could only get one point across to the world, what could you say?

We need to raise our voice and together we are louder.

Lately, I thought I should extend this blog with other dancers’ and sex workers’ experiences. I don’t want to make our work fancy and appealing to others to join but those that already work in this industry I wish to be more understood. When you watch some movies, we are displayed as alcoholic and druggies and girls with daddy issues, but our work, our life is more than that and there are girls who were able to stand up for themselves. I just want to show the community that we made our choices and have nothing to be ashamed of. I’d like to introduce girls, artists, businesswomen who grew from this industry and became beautiful, strong and independent spirits. My aim is to show the world that we are not only strippers but talented, kind-hearted, hard-working individuals. You can write your own introduction with photos and links you’d like to share or we can do that in the form of an interview.

Let me know if you’re interested or if you know someone who would be interested.

Email: heartbrokenstilettos@gmail.com

Thank you!

Lindsay

The way to a stripper’s heart

“On my journey, I have met lots of different men. Some were saints, others were sinners. If my Prince Charming hasn’t come to me on this road, I decided to set out for him. Somewhere our paths will meet and I will recognise in him the man I was waiting for in my entire life, it doesn’t matter what kind of disguise he wears to hide his true self.”

I wrote in my book if I met the right guy, I would recognise him whatever mask he wears. By the time I finished the book, I met someone special at work. I met him in the period when my book was finished but hadn’t been published yet.

How funny, I didn’t want to approach him at the beginning. He was playing on the slot machine and I didn’t want to disturb him, but my boss poked me:
“Go to him, he’s a good  customer!”

He called me and treated me like a Princess from the beginning. Can you imagine how much the other girls in the club hated me because of that?? (I wonder if he knew about what kind of book I was working on..)
In that shitty club I was working, he made me feel special.

He was not perfect, but I’m not perfect either. We had some fights, especially when I was drunk at work and I was more passionate about everything than usual. But we found compromises in everything that brought problems to the table. Sometimes the situation was a bit overheated but a few days later we were just laughing at it.

When I changed clubs and needed to travel to another city, he offered me his help that he could take me there in his car and I accepted it with no fears.
When one week later he visited me on that new place, I did something I’ve never ever done before: I paid his bill in the club because he didn’t have enough cash. He didn’t ask, I offered.
I sneaked out from work to my room above the club and brought him the money. You see, I’m not your average stripper! Paying the customer’s bill (5 bottles of expensive champagne) sounds pretty crazy, right? But I trusted him from the beginning and he paid back the last penny I gave him.
Maybe he was not my Mr Right, but he treated me in the right way as man never treated me before. It was not about the five-star hotels, but I’m not gonna lie, I loved that luxury. It was about how he opened the door for me in those hotels and how he helped me with the luggage. Or when a drunk guy at work tried to convince me why I needed immediately to have sex with him, he saw the situation, got my hand without a word and escorted me to his table. In that move there was no possession, “this is my girl” or anything, just the well-known old chivalry.

Lots of guys just dream about dating a stripper. Well, if they behave like most of our customers, no wonder why they don’t have a chance. How to put it in the right way: you have 20 balls in front of you, 19 red and only one blue. The blue one will get your attention, simply because it’s different from the others.
I’m a stripper but also a woman. And just because I’m a stripper, I don’t tolerate misbehaved guys, I would rather go for someone who is different, who knows how to treat a woman and make her feel special.

 

My Top 20 chart

Sometimes I work in clubs where is a DJ, so I don’t need to select my own music to dance to. But then I have to dance on any songs he plays without any requests. In other clubs, there is a DJ and I can give him my music or even he asks me to choose my own songs. Often I’m not bothered, I just tell him to play any. As one of my managers used to say “you’re a dancer, you must to know how to move on any kind of songs.” Nothing more disappointing than seeing an amazing pole dance show when the dancer can’t follow the rhythm of her music. I’ve seen enough examples of that. If I have to choose, I always pick those that suitable for my moves.
Still, I have my favourites. And just like in anything, I like to be unique in choosing the right songs as well. I never choose the songs that you can hear on the radio every day or the classic striptease music like the You Can Leave Your Hat On. I have music from all over the world. That’s why happened that in the Caribbean I danced on German songs, in Germany I dance on French songs.
Here is the list:
20. Baby Bash ft. Akon – I’ll be your lover
19. Sido – Strip fur mich
18. Macka Diamond – Dye dye
17. Ivan Dorn vs. Klaas – The Lova
16. Maitre Gims – J’me tire
15. Tiziano Ferro – Senza scappare mai piu
14. Gyptian – Hold you
13. Massari – Real love
12. Blero – Sexy moves
11. Clara Morgane – Strip tease
10. Lil Kim – Kitty box
9. One Republic – Secrets
8. Gasparoff – Knights of Citeriya
7. Ofra Haza – Show me
6. Andreea D – Paradise
5. D’Banj – Oliver Twist
4. Isthar – Last kiss
3. Massari – Inta hayati
2. Xavier Naidoo – 20.000 Meilen
1. Kymani Marley – Royal vibes

Here is also a playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-9O4rU_GHeKBOyjkAq_W1WxnXSrsqXcH
There is no special order between the songs, I equally like them. It depends on my mood which one I prefer to dance to. But the No.1. is in the first place because whenever I danced on this song, girls couldn’t wait for me leaving the club and they could use it for their own performance. So it’s not just my No.1.!

And then when I have to make a special show, I like to do a little belly dance. These are the songs for my fantasy shows:

Sarah Brightman – Harem
Alanis Morisette – I remain
Amr Diab – Tamally Maak
So that is the list of my favourite songs. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy dancing on them. 🙂