We are more than ‘just’ strippers

I started the blog to tell my own little secrets and experiences about the stripper’s life, but I’m more and more determined and want to do something for the sex worker community.

I’m a stripper and a writer. I write books about my experiences as a dancer (good and bad, but totally honest) and try to fight against the social stigma that we have to wear. I already have one book I wrote about the average customers of the clubs because we are judged by the society but no one talks about those who come to the clubs with their requests. The book I’m currently working on will be about what’s happening in the private, slut-shaming, sex, strippers’ relationships and so on and I’d like to use a few words, stories and opinion of other strippers too. If you’d like to share your opinion with me that could fit in the book, it would be very much appreciated. (with your stripper’s name, age, and country)

What would be your few words message to the ‘normal’ world about our life? If you could only get one point across to the world, what could you say?

We need to raise our voice and together we are louder.

Lately, I thought I should extend this blog with other dancers’ and sex workers’ experiences. I don’t want to make our work fancy and appealing to others to join but those that already work in this industry I wish to be more understood. When you watch some movies, we are displayed as alcoholic and druggies and girls with daddy issues, but our work, our life is more than that and there are girls who were able to stand up for themselves. I just want to show the community that we made our choices and have nothing to be ashamed of. It will be in the ‘We are more than just Strippers’ category and there I’d like to introduce girls, artists, businesswomen who grew from this industry and became beautiful, strong and independent spirits. My aim is to show the world that we are not only strippers but talented, kind-hearted, hard-working individuals. You can write your own introduction with photos and links you’d like to share or we can do that in a form of an interview.

Let me know if you’re interested or if you know someone who would be interested.

Email: heartbrokenstilettos@gmail.com

Thank you!

Lindsay

Bachelor parties

Other fun times are the bachelor parties: sometimes you have a feeling that the school bus arrived. Grown-up men in their thirties, forties but they behave like overexcited teenage boys who see tits first time in their lives. I still don’t find the answer why that is. Maybe the peer pressure. Sometimes they pay a show or a private dance for the bachelor, otherwise, they just ogle with their eyes.

Every Knight goes through a special training to be qualified. These are called Bachelor parties. This is the total humiliation of a man so that later on he could bear his woman’s whims and tantrums. In South Africa they are more like fancy dress parties, bachelors entered the club dressed like huge babies wearing nothing just a big textile nappy. Others were dressed like Pink Panthers because women like to take care of babies and kittens. I remember I saw one guy with his arm in a plaster and he held a nursing bottle with alcohol in it. So he had the drink but he couldn’t drink it, sometimes his friends were kind and gave him a sip from their own glass. It was teaching him that after the wedding he can drink only when his woman allows him to, or when his good friend organises a short escape from home away from his woman. In Germany a poor bachelor was standing on the street with a huge carton table with a hole, you know the one he could stick out his head from, and everybody on the street could throw something at him from a basket. I couldn’t identify the objects, they were maybe some paintballs. All managed by his friends. Such good friends, he has!

And if you have never seen a bachelor party, here I write down how it is. I’ve seen a lot in Germany when the friends of the bachelor request a special show for him. It is usually a two-song entertaining. It starts as a normal dance on stage, the girl dances sexy, teasing him. Often there is a chair on the stage so she can give him a short lap dance grinding on him. When he is already in the mood, she takes off his shirt. She also goes topless. She demands him to kneel down on the ground while she takes off his belt. She puts the belt on his neck, sits on his back and asks him to walk around. This is the point when his friends start to scream and whistle and also laugh at him. The training is started. She rides him. Often she holds a riding-crop, if not she uses her hand to slap his bum a few times encouraging him to follow her request. Dear married men who went through similar training, don’t forget that moment when your wife asks you to put that picture on the wall the fifth time! Then she lays him down on the stage while she goes above him. More tortures follow. She puts some ice cubes in her mouth and is teasing his body with the ice taking it in turns with her warm and soft lips. He literally gets hot and cold from her like he will get from his wife in marriage. When he starts to enjoy the moment, she suddenly puts more ice into his pants – another moment when his friends cheer. Then she continues the tortures with candles and pouring wax on his torso. In the end, because he was brave to endure these abuses, she rewards him with red lipstick marks on his body and with a pen she writes love messages on it. When she finally lets him stand up, his body is wet and covered with wax, lipstick and pen marks, but she has not finished yet. She asks him to stand up facing the pole and she ties him up. She dances a bit pushing her boobs to his back and she takes off his trousers. She beats him up a few times with the belt. You can hear his friends from the side saying “Ouch!” and at the very last moment she takes off his underwear. So our bachelor is standing on the stage tied up, naked.

Alternatively, I’ve seen shows when after the riding the dancer also kneeled down, she put whipped cream on her bum cheeks and asked the bachelor to lick it, but when he was close to her she always made a move ahead. Like when the cat is playing with the mouse. In another show the dancer was more brutal when the bachelor was standing on the stage only in his pants, she grabbed huge scissors and cropped his underwear on both sides making a G-string for him. Well, a man has to deal with more torture in his marriage if he didn’t choose the right one.

But if the man has his own strength of character and is able to hold his own also emotionally, it’s no way for him to be intimidated. Some bachelors doing his part of the show just laughing along together with his friends. Like a ‘Come what may’ attitude.

(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

https://publioboox.com/en_gb/bedtime-stories-from-stripperland

Insight of a Japanese hostess club

Suddenly a big fat guy came in, his fleshy nose was already red from alcohol and when he noticed me, he immediately requested me. Annushka, our Russian barmaid came to take me to his table. The guy was wearing a greyish office suit and was sweating like he was running from work straight to our club. I gave him the towel and he cleaned the beads of sweat from his forehead, then idly threw it on the table.
“I love big boobs!”
What an impressive introduction!
I was really thankful for my push-up bra and the skin-tight top I chose for the first night, they give me amazing cleavage and took the focus from my tired face. He placed his head on my shoulder but his eyes wandered down on my chest in a hope he could just take a peek under my dress. Such a desperate man, so miserable, I thought. The guy who only wants to peek into my cleavage doesn’t start from a good position.
I cleared my throat loudly.
“So would you like whiskey or soju?”
Soju, soju…” He placed his hand on my hip and forced me to sit closer to him. He took it as an encouragement that I didn’t push his hands away.
Well, I have worked several years in different strip clubs, I got used to men staring and touching my body and entering my comfort zone. I think my bare skin on my tights and arms was like a rhinoceros skin; too thick to feel these touches any more.
My body was tired and my brain was drained to react in any way but his neediness disgusted me. I made his drink with automatic moves. Everything was set on the table, one full bottle of whiskey and one bottle of soju – customers could drink these for free of charge – a jug of water, glasses, a bucket of ice, tower of ashtrays and a lighter, serviettes; everything in reachable distance to make sure I didn’t need to stand up from the table to serve my customer. I put three pieces of ice cubes into his glass, poured some soju on it then filled it up with water.
Dozo.” I placed the glass in front of him on the table and offered him to drink it. He narrowed his eyes and looked at me with a grin on his face while he stirred his index finger above the glass showing me that I forgot to mix the alcohol with the water.
Gommennasai!” I grabbed the metal woman-body shaped stirrer from the ice bucket and quickly stirred his drink.

Now you can drink it, bastard! I thought while I was forcefully smiling at him.

(From the book The Stripper and the Yakuza)

The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine.

This lifestyle still holds so many secrets. Some people have no clue about it. Men see the pretty girl on stage doing some erotic moves and slowly taking her clothes off while they fantasise what they would do with her body in private.
Dancing is the best aphrodisiac as the soft moves of the body helps to unblock the sexual energies.
Men like to watch a woman dancing because they can keep an eye on her from a distance seeing her whole body as it moves with the rhythm of the music and makes her irresistibly desirable for them. I know exactly what effects I make with my performance. Men enjoy watching the dance while women are more judgemental towards us. This is totally fine. But I want to point out that we dancers are normal people just like anybody else. We also cry and share the same feelings. Sometimes we are desperate or confused, and sometimes we want to give up everything for a man we trust, just like those women who never worked in this nightlife. I’ve seen many movies about strippers life, being constantly drunk and taking drugs, being forced into prostitution. I must say I have never been forced to do anything I didn’t want to do.
Maybe I was young, naive or a little drunk when I stretched my boundaries, but I wouldn’t consider myself deviant because of that.
The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine. Until today I have no regrets about my choice. If I had a chance to change my life, probably I would do everything in the same way I did in the past. It’s not only the easy money, not even the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen but all the life lessons I’ve learned during this period. They made me strong without losing myself. They opened my eyes but still kept me cautious at the same time. I’ve learned a lot about myself, but most importantly I’ve learned how to handle my limits and how to push my boundaries further.
 
(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

Men, gentlemen, guys

I have good news for you: my book is finally finished! The most exciting period is yet to come, to find a publisher or literary agent whom I can establish a good relationship for my future plans. Difficult, but it’s not impossible. If I could have reached the point where I’m standing now, there is nothing to stop me from achieving my goals.
I had amazing years of experience in nightlife working as an exotic dancer what made me who I am today and shaped my opinion about men and relationships.
During my work I have realised lots of men don’t know how to approach a dancer, this points to the fact that lots of men don’t know how to approach a woman. The book is about how they shouldn’t approach a dancer or a woman. I didn’t want to write an erotic novel, just to share certain situations and facts about what’s happening in clubs. The main idea was while the whole world is judgemental towards strippers, nobody really talks about those men who have to resort to our service and how they behave.  I bared the social stigma for long enough. People judged me for who I am and what I do, this time let me judge other people, first of all, men who come to the clubs. Because these clubs will exist until men have the desire to come in, but nobody judges them for this pastime. I found lots of books written by sex workers, like The Girlfriend Experience by Rebecca Dakin, but not many strippers wrote books about their work. Maybe there are some books on the American market, but there they have a different style and system in clubs than we have in Europe. The books I’ve read about the stripping industry were more like social studies.
My book is basically a bunch of my stories from the blog about strip clubs but focusing on the behaviour of the average customers. I wrote it with the same openness and honesty as I wrote on my blog. The book is based on Prince Charming and fairy tales, because I haven’t met lots of Prince Charming in those clubs, but more often other characters of fairy tales, like the Big Bad Wolf or the childish Peter Pan.
Growing older I must say I haven’t met my Prince Charming yet. Some good Prince Charming material yes, who had the potential but indeed I met lots of Prince Charmless.
Just for fun, I put them and their stories into 12 categories. I don’t want to give an impression that I was dating a lot but if we think about it, every introduction to a customer is like a date when I want to gain his attention and seduce him to get in the private, while he’s offering me drinks. I’m quite judgemental towards men, it’s true. As one of my friends say, the book is harsh and he thinks it can be successful, but he’s happy that he’s not the man who wants to impress me though.
My future plan is to work as a dating coach, I have finished the course this year and to write more books. I’m not thinking about writing self-help books on dating as there are so many already on the market but talking about real relationship issues in fiction. I already have further ideas for other books. Another privilege of me besides being smart, that I’m pretty. Seriously talking, I’ve done some modelling and I’m pretty comfortable front of the camera so I think photo materials could complete the image of a sexy writer as I’m planning to cooperate with more photographers in the future and create more high-quality photos.
My book has been overviewed by two of my friends, one is a photographer and writer himself but he has never been in a strip club in his entire life, the other friend knows every bit of this word and I know him from a club. For the result, both of the opinion and support were used for the final touch on the book. Here I’d like to thank them for their help and I’m thankful for those who don’t lose hope in me during this period.

 

https://publioboox.com/en_gb/bedtime-stories-from-stripperland