My thoughts on dick pics

Once in London, I finished my shift and I was in a hurry to catch my night bus from Tottenham Court Road. I was at the bus stop when a young guy stepped in front of me holding his mobile close to my face.
Look!”
It was a picture of a – I suggest his – penis. It’s okay to be proud of your precious male part, but why do you think I want to see it, especially in this way of presentation? Is this the only thing you can offer to a woman, does it make you a man?

I don’t understand the male behaviour when they send a picture of their penises before sending a photo of their faces.
Lots of theories are out there, but I – as a simple woman – cannot understand that. I’m not talking about when the man is in a naughty mood with someone and the two are exchanging superheated messages and erotic fantasies. As a part of that, I have sent pictures of myself and I will. I’m not a prude. And in this circumstance, I find it natural to satisfy someone’s curiosity how you look or send a picture what kind of effect you make on the other person’s body in that very moment on the other end of the virtual world. In long distant relationships, they are a different question, it’s a reward to know that my partner is thinking about me even if he’s miles away.
But these unwanted R-rated sexual photos from guys are the biggest turn off for women.
If you’re a woman, have you ever received an unsolicited dick photo from a guy and thought, “What the hell was he thinking?” You’re chatting with some guy online, you think it might progress to a date and then, suddenly there is a random picture of his penis with the meaning: I’m ready for you! Or if you don’t answer their messages, they will show you what you’re missing out in this way. It’s surely not appropriate sexual behaviour or at least not when you want to get to know somebody.
I have to tell you dear Gents, those pictures are unwelcome. Most women appreciate a good body including the male part, but we are really turned on by the man’s intellect, his gentleness and his strength. I’d like to know these qualities before he expresses himself sexually, not vice versa.
Something about this particular type of exhibitionism is really irresistible to some men. Of course, women are also curious, but when we ask for these kinds of pictures or when we are happy to accept them, we are already turned on by the man’s other male aspects like the strength of character or intelligence. The female brain is wired in a totally different way than the male brain that’s why men can be turned on easier by visually sexy effects. Dear men, for the women it works differently, please try to understand that! Actually, most of us can be turned off by receiving this kind of treatment. I wouldn’t even want to know what these men think would be appropriate to send if we are in a relationship!
We live in an age of narcissism where many people believe that they are better than they really are, or sexier than they are.
Some guys out there are really into themselves and their phalluses, and they assume that the woman will be, too, and she will send a sexy picture to them in return. They might think in that way: “I showed you mine, now you show me yours!” Some of them are insecure about their penises and silently they ask for approval, others are uncomfortable to properly express themselves with words that they want to have sex with a girl, so they send a picture of their penises instead. Others use it as a form of sexual harassment.

Women do not find pictures of penises to be aesthetically pleasing at all. We find the whole man we like pleasing, not only his manhood. Men fundamentally misunderstand how most women feel about these type of pictures. And they truly believe it works.

(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

Those sweet temptations

Here comes another confession from me. I don’t consider myself as bisexual although at work customers often like to have fun with two or more girls that like each other also in a sexual way.
And it’s always easier for the girls too to sit with one customer as they can get rid of the drinks easier not to mention easier to keep him (and his hands) under control.
So of course when a client asks me if I like girls, I would answer “Yes, can I introduce my friend to you?” In that case, I’m in the game, light touching and kissing make the moment more sexy and playful.
In private life, my curious nature has been already satisfied, so I no longer look for these temptations. However, it seems they still find me. But it’s totally different when I sense an honest interest from one of my colleagues. I’m not getting easily embarrassed when it comes to flirt with men but when a girl is flirting with me it has a different flavour. Honestly, this still can embarrass me.
There was one girl in Belgium when she made her show on stage, she often tried to keep eye contact with me as she was making the show only for me. That flirtatious smile, winks and so on, you know.
When she got drunk her behaviour was more intense and more obvious. Even my friend, Giselle noticed it once and she told me “It seems I need to protect you from her!” True, she was a bit of an aggressive type, not my taste though.
Other time happened when I was in Cape Town. There is a rooftop sunbathing area for the dancers and with Giselle, we enjoyed spending the afternoons there as it was our escape from Europe’s winter. Then I noticed that one of the girls from the club always appeared a few minutes after I arrived. She tried to talk to me but I was with Giselle – my bodyguard – and I preferred talking to her as we speak the same language. But the girl never tried to make a conversation with Giselle, only with me. Or if yes, it was about me, like “Where is Lindsay today? Doesn’t she come to the pool?” Giselle made fun out of it, but I told her she was exaggerating it, the girl was just friendly (maybe lonely and she wanted to talk to someone, I thought.) But once I was having a pizza in the living room, it was more than enough for me and I don’t mind to share my food with the people around, so I asked her if she would like to have a bite. We were talking for a while about the club life in general, the pizza was gone and she suddenly offered me a bottle of wine and I was invited into her room. Yapp, Giselle was right! I rejected the offer although she was very pretty and such a sweet person, I had no interest in her in that way.
My latest admire is also one of my colleagues. You know it’s nothing more flattering for a woman than another woman’s honest compliments and desire to get to know her better which goes beyond sympathy and friendliness. I heard from lots of men that “You’re gorgeous, you have a beautiful body, you’re beautiful, blah blah” But when this girl told me “Lindsay, your body is just perfect!” with sincerity and a genuine smile, it made me blush. That night she had her regular customer and somehow she managed that I got invited to the table. We had bottles after bottles, the champagne was flowing and the air got more and more intense between us. At one point I realised the roles were changed at the table and I got entertained by my colleague instead of the customer. He sat between us and the girl bent over him to reach out my hand and caress my tights. “I never touched such smooth skin!” The guy just laid back and enjoyed the situation – and paid for our drinks. That night she was clearly trying to seduce me.

When we finished the shift, I went to the back door to leave the club. She came after me to say goodnight and she kissed me on the lips. A sweet, gentle goodnight kiss. Nothing more as I didn’t give her a green signal to go further.
Although nothing happened between us, the situation made me smile. She’s like a doll. Really. A beautiful woman with a kind heart. It’s actually a very satisfying feeling to know if I change my interest in women, I could have such a beautiful lover that most of the guys just dream about.
 

I’m just a good girl with bad habits

If anybody asks what was my most exciting erotic experience, I always start with this story. It happened in London for quite a long time ago. But I feel I have to add it to the blog before everyone thinks I’m an innocent person (and because lately I only wrote about the pure facts of my work). So let’s talk about sex! Lately, I gave out only dry information about dancing on my blog, it’s time to spice it up! So here are some saucy bits:

That was my first night in that club and I couldn’t exactly figure out the rules.

In the interview, the manager told me it’s all about hostessing (meaning selling champagne and talking to the clients) but the club was in the basement of a hotel. Whatsoever, he ensured me there is no sexual activity involved. I remember it was a Monday night, not so busy. I worked there with 4 other girls, they were friendly and welcoming. Our shift was almost finished when two customers arrived.

One older, bold guy, he was the boss and a young, handsome guy who was the employee of the old one. They were a bit tipsy as they had a company event and they didn’t want to go home yet. So they ended up in our club. The old one knew the rules more than me – it was not his first time there for sure – and they ordered champagne for all of us. Bottles after bottles. The young guy was a chatty-box, quite intelligent though, the old one was funny. We really had a great time with them, they were easy customers. I thought so.

Not long before closing, the old guy disappeared with the manager in the back. I noticed that but I didn’t think it was a big deal. Then they came back with a huge grin on both of their faces. And the manager called one of the girls who seemed to work there for a long time and he whispered something in her ears. We had more fun but we finished the last bottle and the manager told us “OK, that was it, we are closing”. We went to the changing room, I went straight to my locker. But then I heard the others talking:

“Listen, they don’t pay enough.”

“Let’s just have some fun!”

“I need the money.”

“I don’t fuck for that money!”

“OK, so we’re gonna play with them for half an hour, but no penetration. I will tell the boss.” and the girl left.

In a minute I understood what happened in the back, what was all the whispering about. The girls didn’t talk secretly, but it was obvious I’m not involved in further business as I was a new girl and they didn’t know if I would agree or not. Suddenly one of them turned to me: “I guess you’re not interested. But we all go with the 2 guys to one of the rooms upstairs. Do you want to come?” Before I said anything, the girl came back: “They want all of us!” and looked at me impatiently.

I had 2 options: I get ready quickly and as soon as I can leave the place and get the next night bus home, or I can be naughty and have seven-some harmless adult fun.

Guess which one I chose? You’re right, the next night bus left without me.

It was not about money. The girl was right, they didn’t offer enough that I would have sex for if I’m a prostitute (I would fall into the high class and expensive category) If I remember well it was something between £100-150 each. The idea was already sick that the boss wanted to watch how his employee fucks a girl. But you don’t have this opportunity often and me having a curious nature I couldn’t turn the offer off.

The room was small and the girls were pros. They turned on the TV, it was some music channel and two of them started to dance in the middle of the room doing a small lesbian show, the other two got the guys undressed and then each other. I lost following what’s going on around me when one of the girls went down on me. I realised later that I was the only one having an orgasm that night.

I was not forced to do anything, it was my free choice. Half an hour later the girls started to get dressed and we left. For other reasons, I didn’t stay in that club for long, but until today I don’t regret it. I don’t even have a shame to talk about it.

What else can I say more: Welcome to my world of new experiences!

Laura’s research into lapdance experienses 2.

“How would dancers feel about giving their sexual partner, or someone that they are in a long-term relationship with a lap-dance? If they would do a lap-dance for them, would they do a different routine to the one that they do at work, and why?”

“Do you think that dancers wear the same underwear at home with their partners as they would at work? Would they wear stockings, g-strings or heels?”

I can not talk about others. I only can tell you about my private sex life. I never gave a lap dance to my actual partner. Some might think a stripper in her private life has an intense sex drive and the knowledge of all the Kama Sutra positions, but it’s not necessarily true. I know girls working in clubs and they are quite shy in private life with their partner when it comes to sex. Here I’m not talking about dating, usually my – not so serious – dates request to bring all those sexy stuff if they know I’m a dancer – one asked me to bring a pole and do a show for him. Of course, my dearest desire to carry 15kg plus with me on my date! Not to mention if I do a show, I get paid for it. Actually, it’s a good filter if I can to take the guy seriously because he interested in me or he just wants some fun with a sexy lady.
For me, if I’m in a long-term relationship, I don’t like wearing my work uniform during sex (even if I have a sexier one than the Metropolitan Police), unless my partner wants me to wear them. I prefer no stockings, no suspenders, no g-strings. A’la naturale. I don’t want to feel I’m working, I’m not posing or teasing like at work, but I try to create an intimate atmosphere what I don’t always do with customers. Probably it works for guys in the same way as they want to see me with no make-up on, and I heard often how sexy I am in my nighties or wearing nothing just a simple t-shirt. How strange that it works in a different way as it works for an average woman! They want to feel sexy and they’re buying all those sexy lingerie sets with lace, silk, satin and God know what else, while I want to forget about them. For me, the sexy lingerie set is for Birthdays and Bank Holidays only. 🙂
Why would a guy prefer me being naked or wearing a t-shirt (especially if it’s his) over some sexy lace? The sexy lingerie is just a big show off. It reminds him of the working girl on stage. He wants to see the woman behind the scenes. It gives him the feeling that I belong to him and only to him. Anybody can see me wearing a sexy set on stage, but only he can see me in my home clothes without ten layers of makeup. In this way, he feels more special.
You asked about the routine, what I would do differently. Even if I decide to give a lap-dance to my partner, kissing would be a huge part of the dance. I don’t kiss every customer. And once we start kissing, it would lead us into a foreplay which is not what I do at my work. He would have access to the area on my body that is a big no-no for customers. Not necessary the private parts. I hate when a customer that I don’t even know wants to kiss my neck, but I really enjoy when my partner does it and for me, it’s a big turn on for example. And one more thing would be a huge difference with my partner: there is no time limit! No secretly watching the clock on the wall how many minutes left from the dance. Unfortunately, if he behaves badly, there is also no security there! 🙂 At work, I always have to be eager what’s happening around me while with my partner I just want to get lost in the moment. And it’s a huge difference indeed. I know, I’m a stripper. But such a romantic at the same time!

My dog-lover ex

I love animals. Although I’m a cat person, I do love dogs as well. Ok, not those portable handbag dogs. They are cute but for me, the meaning of a dog starts somewhere a normal height. But after experiencing this story I was not able even to look at them for a while.
I was dating a guy who had a small female dog. Of course, I knew him from the club I used to work at that time. But I thought he is a fantastic man. We shared the same way of thinking, a similar mentality from the beginning,  same interest. He was a strong character,  manly, like a big silent warrior. You know the kind you know you can rely on. He will be there any time you need him. So what about the dog then? No, the story is not that bad as you think, but definitely one of the weirdest that ever happened to me.
For me, his relationship with his dog was acceptable but not quite alright. Maybe I was overreacting but sometimes he gave more attention to the dog than to me. I have made comments about it and he just said I’m jealous of the dog. But he also told me he loves her more than anything else and she has the priority in his life. Because she taught him what real love is. When we had sex I asked him not to let her in the room and he agreed.  But when we finished he oped the door and the dog jumped in the bed. He immediately started to play with her, stroke her and I was scratching my head that WTF? I just gave him a blowjob and swallowed his sperm and he’s pampering the dog more than me? All those intimate moments have vanished in a second.
But the main issue was not that. When I first saw the dog humping and cuming on his arm I found the situation funny. Dogs do it on random things,  sometimes on a toy or on your leg. The second time I still didn’t want to see the warning signals. But at the 3rd, 4th, 5th times it was bizarre! When I realised that is part of the daily routine, this fantastic,  strong guy became so small in my eyes. He lost all my respect. But how can I respect a man who is misunderstanding his own feelings and project his love for a dog? Lonely people often do that but in a sexual way? I felt pity for him. And we had a huge argument. He didn’t want to understand why it’s a problem, animals need that too, it’s nature. Is it nature to pat me in the same way as the dog or using the same words when he made his dog cum than he used with me? That’s sick man!
Psychologically I understand him. He lost his mother and he suppresses lots of love and he became a sad person. Then he got the dog, someone that he can love and take care of. I just don’t know how it became linked with his sexual habits. I’d love to hear what a psychoanalyst would say about that.. how did this become such a habit for him, more important than a woman next to him? When we had an argument I even asked him if he knows that in some countries it’s legal to marry a dog (according to an Australian guy who married his labrador) All he could say it was that he promises me not to do it again front of me! He didn’t understand it’s just way too wrong! He thought it’s not a big deal. It is a big deal! He thought I’m asking him to choose between me and his dog. He didn’t get the point that I ask him to choose between me and his habit. I knew I have to make my decision to accept him with his dog or get my stuff and run away. I told him to ask any healthy-minded woman,  none of them would expect that from a guy they want to build a relationship with. So the guy slowly disappeared from my life. In the end, I was the bad one who doesn’t like animals. I do like them. But I love and respect myself more than to stay in this situation.
I often wonder what if I’m not a dancer? Still, can I have all these interesting stories about dating and weird guys all over the planet? Or am I overreacting something here?
I’m curious what other women would do in the same situation…