My dog-lover ex

I love animals. Although I’m a cat person, I do love dogs as well. Ok, not those portable handbag dogs. They are cute but for me, the meaning of a dog starts somewhere a normal height. But after experiencing this story I was not able even to look at them for a while.
I was dating a guy who had a small female dog. Of course, I knew him from the club I used to work at that time. But I thought he is a fantastic man. We shared the same way of thinking, a similar mentality from the beginning,  same interest. He was a strong character,  manly, like a big silent warrior. You know the kind you know you can rely on. He will be there any time you need him. So what about the dog then? No, the story is not that bad as you think, but definitely one of the weirdest that ever happened to me.
For me, his relationship with his dog was acceptable but not quite alright. Maybe I was overreacting but sometimes he gave more attention to the dog than to me. I have made comments about it and he just said I’m jealous of the dog. But he also told me he loves her more than anything else and she has the priority in his life. Because she taught him what real love is. When we had sex I asked him not to let her in the room and he agreed.  But when we finished he oped the door and the dog jumped in the bed. He immediately started to play with her, stroke her and I was scratching my head that WTF? I just gave him a blowjob and swallowed his sperm and he’s pampering the dog more than me? All those intimate moments have vanished in a second.
But the main issue was not that. When I first saw the dog humping and cuming on his arm I found the situation funny. Dogs do it on random things,  sometimes on a toy or on your leg. The second time I still didn’t want to see the warning signals. But at the 3rd, 4th, 5th times it was bizarre! When I realised that is part of the daily routine, this fantastic,  strong guy became so small in my eyes. He lost all my respect. But how can I respect a man who is misunderstanding his own feelings and project his love for a dog? Lonely people often do that but in a sexual way? I felt pity for him. And we had a huge argument. He didn’t want to understand why it’s a problem, animals need that too, it’s nature. Is it nature to pat me in the same way as the dog or using the same words when he made his dog cum than he used with me? That’s sick man!
Psychologically I understand him. He lost his mother and he suppresses lots of love and he became a sad person. Then he got the dog, someone that he can love and take care of. I just don’t know how it became linked with his sexual habits. I’d love to hear what a psychoanalyst would say about that.. how did this become such a habit for him, more important than a woman next to him? When we had an argument I even asked him if he knows that in some countries it’s legal to marry a dog (according to an Australian guy who married his labrador) All he could say it was that he promises me not to do it again front of me! He didn’t understand it’s just way too wrong! He thought it’s not a big deal. It is a big deal! He thought I’m asking him to choose between me and his dog. He didn’t get the point that I ask him to choose between me and his habit. I knew I have to make my decision to accept him with his dog or get my stuff and run away. I told him to ask any healthy-minded woman,  none of them would expect that from a guy they want to build a relationship with. So the guy slowly disappeared from my life. In the end, I was the bad one who doesn’t like animals. I do like them. But I love and respect myself more than to stay in this situation.
I often wonder what if I’m not a dancer? Still, can I have all these interesting stories about dating and weird guys all over the planet? Or am I overreacting something here?
I’m curious what other women would do in the same situation…

The Little House of Fetish

I can not call myself a prude woman. I had a boyfriend before that he loved me wearing stockings in bed. I didn’t find it difficult if that makes him happy, why not. As I’m doing fetish modelling these kinds of desires are not unknown to me. I don’t know why but I noticed lately that guys with secret fantasies sooner or later open up for me and telling me or their dirty secrets. And I love those private dances when my customer only wants to give me a foot massage or lick the heels of my shoes! But experience something extreme in private life, it’s a different story.
First I was dating a guy and he liked the glossy, shiny hold-ups on me. For every date we had he arrived with a pair of black stockings. He knows I love the vintage style Agent Provocateur ones (I already have a whole collection of them) So we were dating for a while but one night after having sex he turned to me saying: “Honey, I love your legs in these stockings. But what if next time I’m gonna wear them?”
End of story. I didn’t know if I should have been embarrassed or laugh out loudly. I had no words to him just went to the bathroom because I couldn’t hide my surprised face. Obviously, that was our last date. Can you imagine a big, masculine guy asking you for wearing your tights? I know in this century we shouldn’t be surprised at all, but the personal experience is more intense and you really don’t want something like that from a guy who anyway could be a long-term partner or the father of your child.
In the second situation I was more brave and curious (and let’s say tipsier). I had a customer that I had a good time with, we were laughing a lot and opened the bottle of champagne one after another. Suddenly he just gave me his whisky glass.
“I want you to pee in it!”
Probably the alcohol I drunk previously made the effect on me that I was not surprised.
“OK, I do but only if you drink it!”
It’s definitely not something I do often. But that was one of the situations in my life when I chose to go beyond my limits. And he was only a customer I’ve seen first time (and last time), I mean there were no emotions attached. So I did it for him. He drunk it with no facial expression just like he’d drink his whisky. He only asked for some ice to put in. OK, this is also something we know it exists, no surprise here. But such a big difference in person than just to hear about it.
The third one was the weirdest I can say although I don’t know if I should mention it on the same page with the fetish. All my readers can decide about it.. (I’d love to know what Freud would comment!) I met this guy. He was one of the kindest types that I don’t meet quite often and somehow I felt good with him from the beginning. But he had this tiny little thing: a small dog. I had boyfriends with dogs before and after him but it was something I’ve never seen. First, when she (you read it well, SHE!) started to humping on his arm, I did not pay attention to it. Nature has its funny ways to express itself. But later on, I realised that is kinda part of the daily routine: feeding the dog, playing with the dog, make the dog cum… Yuck! When I asked how he knows that she has an orgasm, he said: “Her pussy is moving just like yours.” (I felt sort of offended that my pussy has been compared to a dog’s.)
Later I tried to tell him that I don’t think this is a healthy way of living with a dog, but his answer was “it’s normal, you can check it on Youtube, there are lots of videos” Yes, but the normal reaction from guys is laughing on it, make a video because it’s strange or simply just tell the dog to “go away”. Not to mention not everything is normal what you can watch on Youtube. I also googled it, but I had to stop educating myself on this subject when the 2nd or 3rd article was a step by step guide “how to train your dog to fuck you”.
My mistake that I didn’t say anything to him about how disgusting it was. I just couldn’t find the right words. It made me confused and I even questioned my own sexuality when after having sex with me he still wanted to please his dog. (As I noticed that he was the one who generated the whole game. I don’t want to talk here about Pavlov, his dogs, the reflexes and that bell..) Because the dog taught him to love. Excellent, so what I’m doing here? So next time when I’m single, feeling lonely and unloved, should I buy a horse??? I’m done. No more words. The rest is out of the question.
But again, I learned something about myself. Since then I know I’m not able to love someone unconditionally, just the way he is. In theory, it sounds beautiful, but good or not, I have my own conditions. And I think every healthy-minded women would think in the same way.
(Overall I try not being judgemental here. It’s not about put those guys on a blacklist. End of the day it is their life, their choice, their habits. But they helped me a lot to realise my own limitations and acceptance.)

Boring, boring..!

Well, I must suggest that this is the most boring job I’ve ever had. I know that this is the time for football, beers and World Cup for lots of guys (I was no surprised when I read an article about the divorce rate increased 5% in China during these days) Our club is deadly empty. In every place can have 1 or 2 bad days, but nearly 2 weeks? And the World Cup hasn’t been finished yet.

And of course, when it’s less busy, women have more chance to talk about others. Thank God, I don’t speak French so I don’t get involved! But funny at the same time because I understand what they talk about, I just play the stupid that I don’t. So the manager complains about the girls that they don’t work hard enough, the barmaid complains about the manager that she wants her to do everything at the same time, the girls complain about customers that they don’t want to spend money and of course about each other that the apartment is dirty and so on. And me complaining about the whole club here. 🙂 No, it’s not really a truth, I can’t complain because nothing is happening there. It reminds me of when I was working in London during the Olympic Games. Everybody expected to be super busy, but clubs, restaurants, cafes in the centre were not busier than usual. The club I worked was also quiet but there we could use the Internet, read a book (I used that time to study) or sleep. Here it’s not like that. I’m sitting at the bar for hours with a straight back looking at the line of alcohol bottles. Sometimes I move to a different chair for a different view. I never understood why we can’t use our mobile to kill the time when it’s not a single customer there. But at the same time, I can’t say anything because I have a good daily salary so basically I’m making money doing nothing. Oh, and I almost forget! Since I’m here I haven’t performed on stage, not even once in 3 weeks!

And when it’s customers, they are easy. When they buy me a bottle of champagne in the VIP and they don’t speak English I suddenly have better skills than a pantomimic artist and they like it. Or sometimes they don’t want to talk to the girls at all, they only come to see the manager or the boss, but they buy a glass of drink one after another for us too. We just sit there and smile. Easy peasy, isn’t it?

But I must say I met some crazy guys here too. The one who took me for a private dance and only wanted me to sit on his face was the weirdest. I’ve heard about that fetish before but when you meet someone who literally likes it, it’s different. I only could think about what is wrong with this guy? The one who wanted to lick my armpit couldn’t be bothered me so. But what I found strange here, more customer asked me to slap him on the face or beat him up.. more than other countries. So they would be the gangster type guys with a little Italian blood that need a Mamma to punish them when they misbehave? They can not give me answers about why they like it, so I think I need to buy a book about this subject. No problem, I have lots of time to educate myself here!