Naked Truths Archives - HeartBrokenStilettos

Those sweet temptations

Here comes another confession from me. I don’t consider myself as bisexual although at work customers often like to have fun with two or more girls that like each other also in a sexual way.

And it’s always easier for the girls too to sit with one customer as they can get rid of the drinks easier not to mention easier to keep him (and his hands) under control.

So of course when a client asks me if I like girls, I would answer “Yes, can I introduce my friend to you?” In that case, I’m in the game, light touching and kissing make the moment more sexy and playful.

In private life, my curious nature has been already satisfied, so I no longer look for these temptations. However, it seems they still find me. But it’s totally different when I sense an honest interest from one of my colleagues. I’m not getting easily embarrassed when it comes to flirt with men but when a girl is flirting with me it has a different flavour. Honestly, this still can embarrass me.

There was one girl in Belgium when she made her show on stage, she often tried to keep eye contact with me as she was making the show only for me. That flirtatious smile, winks and so on, you know.

When she got drunk her behaviour was more intense and more obvious. Even my friend, Giselle noticed it once and she told me “It seems I need to protect you from her!” True, she was a bit of an aggressive type, not my taste though.

Other time happened when I was in Cape Town. There is a rooftop sunbathing area for the dancers and with Giselle, we enjoyed spending the afternoons there as it was our escape from Europe’s winter. Then I noticed that one of the girls from the club always appeared a few minutes after I arrived. She tried to talk to me but I was with Giselle – my bodyguard – and I preferred talking to her as we speak the same language. But the girl never tried to make a conversation with Giselle, only with me. Or if yes, it was about me, like “Where is Lindsay today? Doesn’t she come to the pool?” Giselle made fun out of it, but I told her she was exaggerating it, the girl was just friendly (maybe lonely and she wanted to talk to someone, I thought.) But once I was having a pizza in the living room, it was more than enough for me and I don’t mind to share my food with the people around, so I asked her if she would like to have a bite. We were talking for a while about the club life in general, the pizza was gone and she suddenly offered me a bottle of wine and I was invited into her room. Yapp, Giselle was right! I rejected the offer although she was very pretty and such a sweet person, I had no interest in her in that way.

My latest admire is also one of my colleagues. You know it’s nothing more flattering for a woman than another woman’s honest compliments and desire to get to know her better which goes beyond sympathy and friendliness. I heard from lots of men that “You’re gorgeous, you have a beautiful body, you’re beautiful, blah blah” But when this girl told me “Lindsay, your body is just perfect!” with sincerity and a genuine smile, it made me blush. That night she had her regular customer and somehow she managed that I got invited to the table. We had bottles after bottles, the champagne was flowing and the air got more and more intense between us. At one point I realised the roles were changed at the table and I got entertained by my colleague instead of the customer. He sat between us and the girl bent over him to reach out my hand and caress my tights. “I never touched such smooth skin!” The guy just laid back and enjoyed the situation – and paid for our drinks. That night she was clearly trying to seduce me.

When we finished the shift, I went to the back door to leave the club. She came after me to say goodnight and she kissed me on the lips. A sweet, gentle goodnight kiss. Nothing more as I didn’t give her a green signal to go further.

Although nothing happened between us, the situation made me smile. She’s like a doll. Really. A beautiful woman with a kind heart. It’s actually a very satisfying feeling to know if I change my interest in women, I could have such a beautiful lover that most of the guys just dream about.

Meeting Mr Grey

I think there is nobody on this planet who doesn’t know who is Mr Grey and his fifty shades. Or what does it mean being Mr Grey? In my recent club in Germany, it was a quiet night, not so many customers. This guy came in and sat in the booth in the corner. He was wearing a blue jumper so actually, I should call him Mr Blue. I went over to say hello but he was not interested. I would say he was a bit arrogant and distant so I left him after 5 minutes talking.

He was just an average looking guy but he mentioned something that he’s special.
(Oh yeah, everybody here thinks he’s special!) Then I sat with another customer in the next booth, but I felt he’s watching me. It kind of made me angry. If you don’t want my company and pay me, stop staring!

My customer left and I sat alone while the other girls were working. Suddenly this guy came to my table and sat down next to me.

“Don’t you remember me? I was here on Tuesday!”

I started to collect all the missing moments from Tuesday but I was a little bit tipsy so I couldn’t remember him at all. For sure he was not the one who made me drunk. I would remember if he spent money on me, otherwise how you can expect that a dancer will remember all the guys wandering around in the club? But the situation was embarrassing.. maybe I told him something not so nice and now I don’t remember?

“Do you want a piccolo (the small bottle of champagne)?”

“Yes, please!”

And the waitress girl brought a cane – it was hidden behind the bar for naughty customers – with my drink.

“Now I remember you!”

He was sitting with another girl and they spanked each other with the cane. He bent over the bar and the girl spanked him and then they changed and he got spanked. It looked like they had fun though.

“It was not really clear for me if you are the dom or the sub?”

“I like both.”

I have to admit I like to talk about fetish. I wanted to understand how someone can become a fetishist. I mean HOW? And why? It’s one big mystery for me. Often guys in clubs asked me to dominate them but in real life, I wouldn’t play this game. Teasing and pleasing yes, but not the hardcore fetish games. Often guys ask me to spank them hard or beat them with their belt, or put the belt around their neck and lead them around the club. They also like to be humiliated while other guys are watching. But they pay me to do that. So we shared our experience and the drink came to the table one after another.

“Do you like to be spanked?”

“I don’t know, I never tried.”

It’s strange before nobody wanted to dominate me. A little spank in a kinky way during private dance was acceptable but nobody asked me in real. Since I’m learning to be more feminine, it seems it happens more often.

So I let him spank me with the cane, twice. The first one was very mild. I was more curious how much it can hurt and what reaction my body makes.

It was nothing. He spanked me second time in real. Auch! My body can deal with pain, I felt it but it was still okay. (It was still nothing compared to the pain I bear in my heart these days.)

But after discovering my limits, I forgot a small thing: that I have very sensitive skin. After 2 days the bruises on my bum still look very bad and they are in every colour not only grey. Seriously, I think I can forget G-string for the following week. If someone sees it, he might think I have a very abusive boyfriend at home!

I’m just a good girl with bad habits

If anybody asks what was my most exciting erotic experience, I always start with this story. It happened in London for quite a long time ago. But I feel I have to add it to the blog before everyone thinks I’m an innocent person (and because lately I only wrote about the pure facts of my work). So let’s talk about sex! Lately, I gave out only dry information about dancing on my blog, it’s time to spice it up! So here are some saucy bits:

That was my first night in that club and I couldn’t exactly figure out the rules.

In the interview, the manager told me it’s all about hostessing (meaning selling champagne and talking to the clients) but the club was in the basement of a hotel. Whatsoever, he ensured me there is no sexual activity involved. I remember it was a Monday night, not so busy. I worked there with 4 other girls, they were friendly and welcoming. Our shift was almost finished when two customers arrived.

One older, bold guy, he was the boss and a young, handsome guy who was the employee of the old one. They were a bit tipsy as they had a company event and they didn’t want to go home yet. So they ended up in our club. The old one knew the rules more than me – it was not his first time there for sure – and they ordered champagne for all of us. Bottles after bottles. The young guy was a chatty-box, quite intelligent though, the old one was funny. We really had a great time with them, they were easy customers. I thought so.

Not long before closing, the old guy disappeared with the manager in the back. I noticed that but I didn’t think it was a big deal. Then they came back with a huge grin on both of their faces. And the manager called one of the girls who seemed to work there for a long time and he whispered something in her ears. We had more fun but we finished the last bottle and the manager told us “OK, that was it, we are closing”. We went to the changing room, I went straight to my locker. But then I heard the others talking:

“Listen, they don’t pay enough.”

“Let’s just have some fun!”

“I need the money.”

“I don’t fuck for that money!”

“OK, so we’re gonna play with them for half an hour, but no penetration. I will tell the boss.” and the girl left.

In a minute I understood what happened in the back, what was all the whispering about. The girls didn’t talk secretly, but it was obvious I’m not involved in further business as I was a new girl and they didn’t know if I would agree or not. Suddenly one of them turned to me: “I guess you’re not interested. But we all go with the 2 guys to one of the rooms upstairs. Do you want to come?” Before I said anything, the girl came back: “They want all of us!” and looked at me impatiently.

I had 2 options: I get ready quickly and as soon as I can leave the place and get the next night bus home, or I can be naughty and have seven-some harmless adult fun.

Guess which one I chose? You’re right, the next night bus left without me.

It was not about money. The girl was right, they didn’t offer enough that I would have sex for if I’m a prostitute (I would fall into the high class and expensive category) If I remember well it was something between £100-150 each. The idea was already sick that the boss wanted to watch how his employee fucks a girl. But you don’t have this opportunity often and me having a curious nature I couldn’t turn the offer off.

The room was small and the girls were pros. They turned on the TV, it was some music channel and two of them started to dance in the middle of the room doing a small lesbian show, the other two got the guys undressed and then each other. I lost following what’s going on around me when one of the girls went down on me. I realised later that I was the only one having an orgasm that night.

I was not forced to do anything, it was my free choice. Half an hour later the girls started to get dressed and we left. For other reasons, I didn’t stay in that club for long, but until today I don’t regret it. I don’t even have a shame to talk about it.

What else can I say more: Welcome to my world of new experiences!

Laura’s research into lapdance experienses 2.

“How would dancers feel about giving their sexual partner, or someone that they are in a long-term relationship with a lap-dance? If they would do a lap-dance for them, would they do a different routine to the one that they do at work, and why?”

“Do you think that dancers wear the same underwear at home with their partners as they would at work? Would they wear stockings, g-strings or heels?”

I can not talk about others. I only can tell you about my private sex life. I never gave a lap dance to my actual partner. Some might think a stripper in her private life has an intense sex drive and the knowledge of all the Kama Sutra positions, but it’s not necessarily true. I know girls working in clubs and they are quite shy in private life with their partner when it comes to sex. Here I’m not talking about dating, usually my – not so serious – dates request to bring all those sexy stuff if they know I’m a dancer – one asked me to bring a pole and do a show for him. Of course, my dearest desire to carry 15kg plus with me on my date! Not to mention if I do a show, I get paid for it. Actually, it’s a good filter if I can to take the guy seriously because he interested in me or he just wants some fun with a sexy lady.

For me, if I’m in a long-term relationship, I don’t like wearing my work uniform during sex (even if I have a sexier one than the Metropolitan Police), unless my partner wants me to wear them. I prefer no stockings, no suspenders, no g-strings. A’la naturale. I don’t want to feel I’m working, I’m not posing or teasing like at work, but I try to create an intimate atmosphere what I don’t always do with customers. Probably it works for guys in the same way as they want to see me with no make-up on, and I heard often how sexy I am in my nighties or wearing nothing just a simple t-shirt. How strange that it works in a different way as it works for an average woman! They want to feel sexy and they’re buying all those sexy lingerie sets with lace, silk, satin and God know what else, while I want to forget about them. For me, the sexy lingerie set is for Birthdays and Bank Holidays only. 🙂

Why would a guy prefer me being naked or wearing a t-shirt (especially if it’s his) over some sexy lace? The sexy lingerie is just a big show off. It reminds him of the working girl on stage. He wants to see the woman behind the scenes. It gives him the feeling that I belong to him and only to him. Anybody can see me wearing a sexy set on stage, but only he can see me in my home clothes without ten layers of makeup. In this way, he feels more special.

You asked about the routine, what I would do differently. Even if I decide to give a lap-dance to my partner, kissing would be a huge part of the dance. I don’t kiss every customer. And once we start kissing, it would lead us into a foreplay which is not what I do at my work. He would have access to the area on my body that is a big no-no for customers. Not necessary the private parts. I hate when a customer that I don’t even know wants to kiss my neck, but I really enjoy when my partner does it and for me, it’s a big turn on for example. And one more thing would be a huge difference with my partner: there is no time limit! No secretly watching the clock on the wall how many minutes left from the dance. Unfortunately, if he behaves badly, there is also no security there! 🙂 At work, I always have to be eager what’s happening around me while with my partner I just want to get lost in the moment. And it’s a huge difference indeed. I know, I’m a stripper. But such a romantic at the same time!

The Little House of Fetish

I can not call myself a prude woman. I had a boyfriend before that he loved me wearing stockings in bed. I didn’t find it difficult if that makes him happy, why not. As I’m doing fetish modelling these kinds of desires are not unknown to me. I don’t know why but I noticed lately that guys with secret fantasies sooner or later open up for me and telling me or their dirty secrets. And I love those private dances when my customer only wants to give me a foot massage or lick the heels of my shoes! But experience something extreme in private life, it’s a different story.

First I was dating a guy and he liked the glossy, shiny hold-ups on me. For every date we had he arrived with a pair of black stockings. He knows I love the vintage style Agent Provocateur ones (I already have a whole collection of them) So we were dating for a while but one night after having sex he turned to me saying: “Honey, I love your legs in these stockings. But what if next time I’m gonna wear them?”

End of story. I didn’t know if I should have been embarrassed or laugh out loudly. I had no words to him just went to the bathroom because I couldn’t hide my surprised face. Obviously, that was our last date. Can you imagine a big, masculine guy asking you for wearing your tights? I know in this century we shouldn’t be surprised at all, but the personal experience is more intense and you really don’t want something like that from a guy who anyway could be a long-term partner or the father of your child.

In the second situation I was more brave and curious (and let’s say tipsier). I had a customer that I had a good time with, we were laughing a lot and opened the bottle of champagne one after another. Suddenly he just gave me his whisky glass.

“I want you to pee in it!”

Probably the alcohol I drunk previously made the effect on me that I was not surprised.

“OK, I do but only if you drink it!”

It’s definitely not something I do often. But that was one of the situations in my life when I chose to go beyond my limits. And he was only a customer I’ve seen first time (and last time), I mean there were no emotions attached. So I did it for him. He drunk it with no facial expression just like he’d drink his whisky. He only asked for some ice to put in. OK, this is also something we know it exists, no surprise here. But such a big difference in person than just to hear about it.

The third one was the weirdest I can say although I don’t know if I should mention it on the same page with the fetish. All my readers can decide about it.. (I’d love to know what Freud would comment!) I met this guy. He was one of the kindest types that I don’t meet quite often and somehow I felt good with him from the beginning. But he had this tiny little thing: a small dog. I had boyfriends with dogs before and after him but it was something I’ve never seen. First, when she (you read it well, SHE!) started to humping on his arm, I did not pay attention to it. Nature has its funny ways to express itself. But later on, I realised that is kinda part of the daily routine: feeding the dog, playing with the dog, make the dog cum… Yuck! When I asked how he knows that she has an orgasm, he said: “Her pussy is moving just like yours.” (I felt sort of offended that my pussy has been compared to a dog’s.)

Later I tried to tell him that I don’t think this is a healthy way of living with a dog, but his answer was “it’s normal, you can check it on Youtube, there are lots of videos” Yes, but the normal reaction from guys is laughing on it, make a video because it’s strange or simply just tell the dog to “go away”. Not to mention not everything is normal what you can watch on Youtube. I also googled it, but I had to stop educating myself on this subject when the 2nd or 3rd article was a step by step guide “how to train your dog to fuck you”.

My mistake that I didn’t say anything to him about how disgusting it was. I just couldn’t find the right words. It made me confused and I even questioned my own sexuality when after having sex with me he still wanted to please his dog. (As I noticed that he was the one who generated the whole game. I don’t want to talk here about Pavlov, his dogs, the reflexes and that bell..) Because the dog taught him to love. Excellent, so what I’m doing here? So next time when I’m single, feeling lonely and unloved, should I buy a horse??? I’m done. No more words. The rest is out of the question.

But again, I learned something about myself. Since then I know I’m not able to love someone unconditionally, just the way he is. In theory, it sounds beautiful, but good or not, I have my own conditions. And I think every healthy-minded women would think in the same way.

(Overall I try not being judgemental here. It’s not about put those guys on a blacklist. End of the day it is their life, their choice, their habits. But they helped me a lot to realise my own limitations and acceptance.)