appreciation Archives - HeartBrokenStilettos

We are more than ‘just’ strippers

I started the blog to tell my own little secrets and experiences about the stripper’s life, but I’m more and more determined and want to do something for the sex worker community.

I’m a stripper and a writer. I write books about my experiences as a dancer (good and bad, but totally honest) and try to fight against the social stigma that we have to wear. I already have one book I wrote about the average customers of the clubs because we are judged by society but no one talks about those who come to the clubs with their requests. The book I’m currently working on will be about what’s happening in the private, slut-shaming, sex, strippers’ relationships and so on and I’d like to use a few words, stories and opinion of other strippers too. If you’d like to share your opinion with me that could fit in the book, it would be very much appreciated. (with your stripper’s name, age, and country)

What would be your few words message to the ‘normal’ world about our life? If you could only get one point across to the world, what could you say?

We need to raise our voice and together we are louder.

Lately, I thought I should extend this blog with other dancers’ and sex workers’ experiences. I don’t want to make our work fancy and appealing to others to join but those that already work in this industry I wish to be more understood. When you watch some movies, we are displayed as alcoholic and druggies and girls with daddy issues, but our work, our life is more than that and there are girls who were able to stand up for themselves. I just want to show the community that we made our choices and have nothing to be ashamed of. I’d like to introduce girls, artists, businesswomen who grew from this industry and became beautiful, strong and independent spirits. My aim is to show the world that we are not only strippers but talented, kind-hearted, hard-working individuals. You can write your own introduction with photos and links you’d like to share or we can do that in the form of an interview.

Let me know if you’re interested or if you know someone who would be interested.

Email: heartbrokenstilettos@gmail.com

Thank you!

Lindsay

Greetings from Germany!

Just a quick update because I didn’t write here lately:

The club where I work now, it reminds me of the first club I worked. A bit quiet but nice and relaxing. I like everything about it. The accommodation is just super, I have my own room with my own bathroom and kitchenette. I don’t need to share it with other dancers.

And I was a little shocked upon arrival when I saw the boss cleaning up the room for me, usually, they just leave it as the previous girl left it, and I have to clean before I move in. Those girls who travel for work know it’s very rare in this business. Dancers apartments are usually dirty and overcrowded.

Here if I want to run around naked all day, I can do it. I’m by myself. (No, it’s not boring! That’s my well-desired peacefulness!)

I like working with German guys. They are polite and easygoing, they know if they come to the club, it costs them some money. Not all buy drinks or dances, but at least they buy dollars tipping the dancers. Just a very few think they are in a cinema and they can just watch without paying. Here is no stage show all night, if they don’t pay, we don’t dance. Perfect! I like this house rule, it’s just a waste of energy dancing for guys if they don’t pay. It makes you tired for nothing. Here I don’t feel tired since I’m here (end of September) I only took one day off. The town is small but great, lots of parks around if I feel unmotivated or just need a good walk.

And I also have a good relationship with the people in the club. Funny, those who can speak English here, I don’t want to talk to them, and those I like to speak only German or very little English. It’s just putting me to learn more German, which is great! I already regretted the time I spent in other countries without learning the language, here I have a bit more chance to do so. I also think about going back to school, so I dusted my old psychology books and brought them with me. It keeps me occupied these days. When the club is not busy, I’m sitting in the corner wearing lingerie and heavy make-up and reading the Introduction to social psychology book or German grammar. Funny though, but you know by now I’m not your average stripper.

So for all these reasons above, I feel I’m in the perfect place right now. I think my travels stop here, I will come back to this club only. No more reason for me searching for other clubs.

I’m happy where I am now.

Photoblog – from Costa Brava

I’m very happy when I meet a talented photographer and I got pictures like these as a result:

When I work in different countries, I often try to contact photographers. I did it in Spain and I found a young and talented guy from Barcelona, Andreu Olive.

http://www.andreuolive.com/home

We had a great time during shooting, although the beach was a little busy and we made some noise and some guys tried to be sneaky taking some pictures with their phones. Oh well, it’s hard to be famous! 🙂

If you’d like to see more of my photos, sign up to my OnlyFans account:

https://onlyfans.com/heartbrokenstilettos

or AdmireMe account:

https://admireme.vip/heartbrokenstilettos/

Kisses from sunny Costa Brava

(Meanwhile, I arrived back to London, but I wrote this when I was still there, so let me share the original post.)

Sun, sea, beach, good food, sangria.. what else can I wish for more?

I was hesitating to come to Spain or go to Greece instead, but I thought I’ve been in Greece already, let’s try Spain this time! I was a bit worried as I heard a lot about the clubs here and almost all of them offer more than a regular private dance. This club 2 years ago was a brothel too, no wonder if guys are still continuously asking for sex.

And actually, I’m lucky that I came here instead of Greece. The Czech girl who arrived yesterday was there and she almost didn’t get paid according to the crisis there. One night the owner paid her normally but the next one “Sorry I don’t have enough money. So I gave you just that much.” It’s not correct as we have a contract with the clubs how much they must pay for us. And most of our money is commission based. It means customers come and pay, we have the percentage of their money spent on us. With daily payment, I want to get the whole amount on the same day, especially in those countries where they don’t keep the records clear. In countries like Germany, it won’t be a problem as they write everything down.

In Norway I worked for Albanians, in Canada for Asians, now in Spain I work for Russians.

It’s just funny yet confusing, my bosses don’t have a typical Russian name like Sergei or Dimitri. Never heard that name before, now I have three of them in the same club (plus one more in another club)

They are new in business and a little bit unprofessional. But because they don’t know how to make it better, at least they don’t stress the girls to make more money for them.

But the club is boring. It has lots of potentials, but still boring. I can imagine here parties, special shows just like in the local discotheques. The barwoman has enough time to practice her pole dance knowledge, instead of serving the customers. I make money on customers. But how can I make money if it’s a Saturday night, the club is empty, only two young guys are sitting there with one drink (one had only water) not even the bar makes money on them. And finally after one and a half hour later they decide to buy one house dollar each to one of the girls on stage. Wow, she made 2€! And that was money hard earned as they though a boobie massage is included.

And let’s be honest, this is the Costa Brava! On the beach, our men see more tits than in a club where only 5 girls work and there are no continuous stage shows. I spend here more time topless on the beach than at work!

OK, I understand they just opened – maybe 4 months ago – and they are new in the business. Three middle-aged men. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis: they though opening a strip club is easy money and easy fuck for them?

But they have zero organisation skills. We gave them lots of advice as we travel a lot and have seen different clubs with different systems, but they don’t listen. Here if I could make 1000€ in 4 weeks that would be a miracle. But I knew that ahead, so no stress. I still get my 40€ daily salary even the club is empty. I never got 40€ for watching movies as we have Internet access in the club! Accommodation is provided and free of charge and it’s only 50 meters away from the beach. This is I call a paid holiday!

Here is like the language chaos of Babylon as the customers require me to speak Spanish or French, the owners Russian or German. Only a few people speak English, I just wondering why the hell they want English speaker girls then.

One night an Indian guy came to me:

“No chiki chiki?”

“No.” whatever he meant by that. (I have a guess though.)

But during the show in private, it doesn’t matter what language you speak. Words no needed.

The best way to learn a language to have a boyfriend who only speaks that particular language and your love for him will force you to learn. But this is the best way the hate a language too. Once I had a strong feeling for a guy from Puerto Rico, and I started to learn Spanish only because of him. Now I don’t even want to use the words I learned although I understand them. My passion to learn Spanish is gone with him. That scar is deeper than I thought and I realised it now. But I’m proud of my scars on my heart. Without them, it wouldn’t be ME.

Just an update to the end:

On my last week, I made more money than on the previous weeks altogether thanks to the young boys that came to the club. Some of them were nice and very enthusiastic while others were party animals. I like when they drunk and drugged, they forgot we already had a private dance. I have 5 privates with one of them and he thought each dance was the first! So I finished my contract with money and nicely tanned. No reason to complain.

Almost Miss Hungary

Linked to my previous post, in 2001 I went to a beauty pageant where I won the 2nd prize.

When I started modelling, I often travelled to Budapest for a test or portfolio shooting. Once I was waiting for the metro at Deak ter, when a short chubby guy stepped to me.

“Hey, you should apply to Miss Hungary! I’m the one who organises it!”

“Yeah, yeah..” and I turned my head to the opposite direction “Of course!”

The guy was quite arrogant and I was sure he was just trying to sell his BS to me in the hope of getting my number. I forgot about him quickly. The same year I watched Miss Hungary on the TV not having any other watchable program. I almost dropped the remote control when I saw that short guy on the screen! I started to laugh. Oh well, I missed my big chance having my 15 minutes of fame. My excuse, I’m not from the capital and I didn’t really follow the beauty pageants. Maybe I was naive but I had no idea who was that guy. But his approach was arrogant and I rejected him out of hand.

But then in 2001 I had my guts and applied to the one in my region, it is a big annual event there. I was selected for the final. The preparation was fun with trying different clothes, hairdressers, make-up artist, photographers. My favourite was to choose the wedding dress for one of the choreography. Every girl wanted to choose the big princess dress, but I trusted the lady’s taste who chose me a simple but very elegant dress which fits perfectly with my figure. (This dress is still waiting for me because they offered it for my big day.) I didn’t think about to win but I wanted to be a part of it. Among us, we knew who’s going to win anyway by the way how they treated the 3 girls differently. We had an open full-dress rehearsal where the judges were already there. I have this thing whenever I perform on stage, I like to have eye contact with customers otherwise I don’t even smile. I don’t see the point of making the effort to smile. What if nobody watches? So back then I did the process of learning the choreographies without a single smile. But at the rehearsal when there was an audience there, I shined on the stage! I got my million-carat smile, rehashed and showed it up.

Next day I felt the difference when I was sitting in the chair in the hair salon and 3 hairdressers tried to bring the best out of my hair. And in the evening – thanks for my smile – I stood up from nowhere to the 2nd place. And it was such a good feeling. It was not something I won because I slept with one of the judges or my mum was a friend of the organiser. I got it because of myself. And my family and close friends were so proud of me!