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Laura’s research into lapdance experienses 2.

“How would dancers feel about giving their sexual partner, or someone that they are in a long-term relationship with a lap-dance? If they would do a lap-dance for them, would they do a different routine to the one that they do at work, and why?”

“Do you think that dancers wear the same underwear at home with their partners as they would at work? Would they wear stockings, g-strings or heels?”

I can not talk about others. I only can tell you about my private sex life. I never gave a lap dance to my actual partner. Some might think a stripper in her private life has an intense sex drive and the knowledge of all the Kama Sutra positions, but it’s not necessarily true. I know girls working in clubs and they are quite shy in private life with their partner when it comes to sex. Here I’m not talking about dating, usually my – not so serious – dates request to bring all those sexy stuff if they know I’m a dancer – one asked me to bring a pole and do a show for him. Of course, my dearest desire to carry 15kg plus with me on my date! Not to mention if I do a show, I get paid for it. Actually, it’s a good filter if I can to take the guy seriously because he interested in me or he just wants some fun with a sexy lady.

For me, if I’m in a long-term relationship, I don’t like wearing my work uniform during sex (even if I have a sexier one than the Metropolitan Police), unless my partner wants me to wear them. I prefer no stockings, no suspenders, no g-strings. A’la naturale. I don’t want to feel I’m working, I’m not posing or teasing like at work, but I try to create an intimate atmosphere what I don’t always do with customers. Probably it works for guys in the same way as they want to see me with no make-up on, and I heard often how sexy I am in my nighties or wearing nothing just a simple t-shirt. How strange that it works in a different way as it works for an average woman! They want to feel sexy and they’re buying all those sexy lingerie sets with lace, silk, satin and God know what else, while I want to forget about them. For me, the sexy lingerie set is for Birthdays and Bank Holidays only. 🙂

Why would a guy prefer me being naked or wearing a t-shirt (especially if it’s his) over some sexy lace? The sexy lingerie is just a big show off. It reminds him of the working girl on stage. He wants to see the woman behind the scenes. It gives him the feeling that I belong to him and only to him. Anybody can see me wearing a sexy set on stage, but only he can see me in my home clothes without ten layers of makeup. In this way, he feels more special.

You asked about the routine, what I would do differently. Even if I decide to give a lap-dance to my partner, kissing would be a huge part of the dance. I don’t kiss every customer. And once we start kissing, it would lead us into a foreplay which is not what I do at my work. He would have access to the area on my body that is a big no-no for customers. Not necessary the private parts. I hate when a customer that I don’t even know wants to kiss my neck, but I really enjoy when my partner does it and for me, it’s a big turn on for example. And one more thing would be a huge difference with my partner: there is no time limit! No secretly watching the clock on the wall how many minutes left from the dance. Unfortunately, if he behaves badly, there is also no security there! 🙂 At work, I always have to be eager what’s happening around me while with my partner I just want to get lost in the moment. And it’s a huge difference indeed. I know, I’m a stripper. But such a romantic at the same time!

Laura’s research into lapdance experienses 1.

I met a girl in Paris who told me she’s studying on university and how she entered the whole glittery pinky stripper world was that she went interviewing a few dancers in a local club to write an essay and she started to like the atmosphere and decided to work in clubs afterwards. See, not every girl’s doing it for money or because they have been forced to do so, but some also realise it’s such a good job to learn about our own sexuality and express ourselves. So after talking to her, I got an email from a lovely girl – let’s call her Laura – who asked my help to write her dissertation. “I am doing research for my dissertation, which is looking into the ways in which lap-dancing is empowering for women, but I also want to learn about the difficult parts of the industry! Basically, I just want to give an honest story. I have never done lap-dancing before so I cannot write from my own experiences, and I came across your blog and it is so interesting! You seem very honest about your work and you seem to have travelled and worked in many countries.” I thought such a brave girl to write about this subject and I’m happy to help if it doesn’t cost money so I said yes to her. And some of her questions are so intelligent and worth to write a whole post as an answer.

“How did you feel when a customer breaks the rules and touches your intimate area when giving them a naked lap dance? “

When I read this question the stories started to come to my mind. But I’m telling you the best one. I was working in Toronto, Canada where the club had a totally unique system. The customers chose the girls from a photo album with the help of the bookers. Those guys were walking around with a huge album in their hands any anybody wanted to have a lap dance, they suggested the girl who suits the best for them. We girls were not allowed to talk to customers, it was a sitting area for us or we could stay in the changing room (even for a quick nap). So because of that, there was no previous agreement on what I do in private and what I don’t. It was a whole forum on an internet site about which girl is a giver in the club and it was so popular amongst the customers. If I find it, I will link it here because it was so funny and entertaining to read. So basically the guy who booked me for dance was never so sure what he can get from me.

Once I got booked by a young guy for 30 mins. He was around 20. We went down to the private area, I seated him and started to dance. Without asking or saying anything, he started to unbutton his jeans. I didn’t say anything but gave him a bad look. He didn’t get the signal – or didn’t want to understand – and his hand slid down inside his trousers. I don’t let the customers jerk themselves during my dance so I told him to stop. He said OK. And then I changed my position, I danced a bit facing the wall and when I turned back his willy was out and it was a huge grin on his face.

“I told you not to do it!” (Jesus, this half an hour dance will be difficult!)

“OK, OK! I apologise.. but a little bit?”

“NO!”

But some really like testing the waters. I thought finally he got the message, I turned again to the wall. I bend over to take my panties off when I saw him between my legs what he’s doing. Of course, his trousers down on his hips and he was jerking. I really hate when I have to repeat myself again and again, and it seems this bloke was deaf or something not to hear what I was trying to say. I found a more effective way. I grabbed his beer from the small table where he put it, suddenly turned back and put it upside down into his trousers. The cold beer poured down on his erection and on his balls.

“Now I hope you understand what I was saying to you!”

He immediately jumped from the sofa and called me on every name you can imagine. I gave him back his dance tokens and left.

Dear man, if the dancer says not to do it, it means NOT TO DO IT! Once I had to listen to 30 mins lecture from my manager because my customer did the same when I danced showing my butt to him. My manager passed the curtains and she saw what’s going on and interrupted the dance. I told her I’m wearing my eyes on the front and I can’t see what he’s doing behind my back but she thought I let him do. Seriously I almost got fired just because the guy was not listening. Same with touching. In some clubs, they are very strict about it and I can get in trouble if they see it on the security cameras. What? If there are security cameras??? Of course, there are! Who would believe that there is no control over what’s going on in the VIP room? The clubs have to protect themselves if anything happens there.

But answering the question, it happened to me that the customer touched me in an inappropriate way – again I was showing my back to him and I did a sexy bend over. He thought it’s funny if he touches me between my legs. As I felt his finger on my private area I turn back and suddenly gave him a huge slap on his face.

“Never do it again!”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Get out!”

“But I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

“Get the fuck out of here!!!”

I was cold as ice and he understood the fun is over and he left. After the security guy came to me asking why I finished the dance sooner. I told him what happened and he just shrugged his shoulder. “Hm, OK.”Of course, it was OK. It was no argument about paying back the dance or anything. Security can help to kick out an angry guy or step between the dancer and customer if it’s necessary. But behind closed doors (or curtains) I’m in control. And I have to make sure that nothing happening there that can harm me. I remember working as a hostess. Once we had a beautiful girl who never worked in this field before. She got chosen by a “good” customer and the guy paid her champagne bottle after bottle. As it was her first night, she easily lost her limits. And the control. After she was crying in the toilette because the guy tried to finger her through her tights and panties and she felt violated. That was her first and last night.

That’s MY body, I make the rules! I understand there are different clubs and in some clubs, you can get more, I also understand that the temptation is big, but if the dancer says NO, it means NO. It’s always better to ask than walking through the whole club with wet pants and it looks you just peed yourself during the private dance.

From Paris With Love

Eiffel tower, Arc de Triomphe and Champs Elysees. It’s a beautiful city although I have to confess it’s not my favourite. Or maybe just because I always arrived at the Gare du Nord – if I come from London by Eurostar – and it doesn’t give the best first impression of Paris. That area is just so dirty and dodgy, especially at night. But the dancers’ apartment is in the centre, just 10 minutes walk from the Arc de Triomphe and the building is quite quiet. Luckily.

The work is okay. I already know that my perfect place where I’d like to stay longer doesn’t exist. Here the club is renewed, beautiful and shiny. All well designed. One of the prettiest interior of clubs I’ve ever worked. The staff is nice. The girls are nice too. No pressure on girls at work, everyone works in her own tempo. The apartment is okay. Quiet, not so crowded and the cleanness is all right. I have only problems with customers. So unfriendly, so cold! And they don’t want to spend money. I’m a bit surprised because by my experience French guys like me. But here they even feel offended if I ask for a dance. For f*** sake, relax, I’m just doing my job!

Like yesterday: we had 6 guys at the table. They bought a bottle of drink for themselves but they drunk very slowly. All of them was on their mobile phone. I even made a joke that we should open an Internet cafe rather than a strip club. They didn’t even watch the stage show, just took a few photos (which is prohibited) and posted on their Facebook, WhatsApp etc. I saw because I was sitting behind them. And they even felt offended when a girl went over trying to sell a dance. They were quite rude actually. But guys, can you explain to me something? If I want to buy a new pair of shoes, I go to the shoe shop. You come to a strip club because you’re interested in girls. So don’t make faces when a pretty lady tries to communicate with you. Or go home to watch TV instead! I never understand this behaviour. Here I make money only after the dances. No drink commission. (Oh, my liver is very happy!) Some beautiful, experienced girls sit with a guy and make jokes and smile for hours to get a table dance. That means €11 for the dancer. (!) Tips are very rare. So show a little respect! Because this is not what some guys think when they say “You have an easy job. Easy money. You just have to be beautiful.” Really? And definitely, don’t complain that the girls look so unhappy if you behave like a douchebag with them.

But some happy moments happened to me since I’m here. The first night I arrived, I posted a photo of the Arc de Triomphe on my Instagram. And a guy that I know from Guadeloupe sent me a message. He is a professional photographer there but we never met in person as he broke his arm when we had the photo shooting arranged. And guess what? He is in Paris too! So yesterday we met for a coffee. That’s what I like about travelling. I’m from London, he’s from Guadeloupe and we meet in Paris! The same happened to me when I was in Macau. I know a guy from Hong Kong and we met in South Africa when I was working there. And after 2 years we met again just like good friends that they saw each other last just a few days before. I like the feeling that in any country I go on this planet I know someone there. That’s amazing!

Also, I know a Spanish girl from Guadeloupe (it seems Guadeloupe is the centre of my world right now) We were not close friends there but we keep in touch via Facebook time by time. And I sent her a message that there is one girl here looks exactly like her, same face, same hairstyle and that girl reminds me of her so much. And she wrote me back: “That’s my sister!” And she’s coming here too in 10 days, so we will work together again for a short term. So funny! I think our planet is really such a small one. Now her sister and I are waiting for her in Paris.

And I have the feeling that this place has even more surprising for me! Maybe not every road leads to Rome but to Paris!

Bon jour, Geneve!

Here’s I am again. I must say during a year period I was working in other places, here nothing changed. Every night the same faces. Some I truly missed. Good to see these people again and carry on the same conversion that we had a year ago. Like I had a young customer that we talked a lot about the Caribbean and Japan because he visited those places several times. And since we haven’t met I got to both places and now have lots of stories to share with him. That’s a shame I didn’t have his contact to send him a message that “Greetings from Japan!” But now I’m so happy to see and talk to him again.

I think I worked in this club on and off 5 months. Enough time to make friends and enemies. I have some good stories from this place although I didn’t enjoy every minute of working here. This is the only one place in Geneva that is not a cabaret. Cabarets are hundreds of them here, also private apartments. The prostitution is blooming here. Just on the next street behind the hotel where I stay, there are girls on the streets daytime wearing shorter skirts than I wear at work as a dancer. And some can give me a dirty look when I pass them, thinking I am a concurrency. I would not say I feel comfortable, but I try to ignore them. I’m not looking for trouble from my nature. Inside the club is a different story. This is the only one strip club in Geneva where sex is prohibited. Or at least this is what they say. Last year in my last month I got upset when almost every second guy asked me about special massage in the VIP. “Man, if you want a special massage, go to any cabaret and you can have anything you wish for!” But then I had to realise that some girls advertising this place for this kind of service and they obviously not only dance in the VIP. There were 2 girls that they took guys to their apartment provided by the club to make some extra money. How lovely is that? Forget about other dancers you share the apartment with. I never understand these girls why don’t go to work at any private apartment, they could make way more money than working in a strip club. Ok, here is less concurrency because not every girl offering the same service but still. As I heard both had trouble with the boss and they got fired after I left.

This time no different. Girls can leave with customers if the guy pays enough for the club. Other girls let finger themselves during the private dance which would be okay for me if the booths are not open. Everyone makes the money in the way she wants, but it’s disturbing when my customer sees what’s going on in the next booth and obviously he expects the same from me. Those girls have no respect for others. Or the one yesterday, basically she gave a guy a lapdance at the seating area, kissing and dry humping on him for free. I must say those customers are right when they complain about the quality of the girls here because they are getting more aggressive, more dirty, cheaper. Before I was working here with nice girls who know the business but this time very low class. And it’s a bigger problem when customers make the same comments.

Oh well, I just came back for 3 weeks and I was prepared for that. No big surprise. And as I said I met lovely guys here, I concentrate on them and don’t let those girls disturb me. There are sometimes when I don’t even want to talk to any of them and I don’t give an s*** what they think about me. As far as I see they compete with each other who can make more money and I never been interested in this kind of competition. I know how much I make and I know in what way, I never care about the other girls’ wallets. Like yesterday I didn’t make a penny but I quite enjoyed looking the others get wasted on champagne and making a show for everyone in the club. It was a weird night anyway, I even made a joke with the barman that it seems everyone is high on coke. Well, you might never know for sure.

Good bye Skegness!

Last week was raining. I thought this week won’t be different. But I’m happy for these days in this small room alone (in the one with the window!) because I can focus on more writing and I had time for some “emotional housecleaning”. This year I wanted to go to the pilgrim’s road to Santiago de Compostella but it requires some financial background what I don’t have this very right moment. Hopefully, my bank account balance will be more stable in the spring and I can rethink it. I have this feeling that I want to be a little isolated from people. I think it’s normal if you constantly work with people (drunk, stupid, arrogant and loud people..) to be alone in your own world to recharge your batteries. Skegness is the best from that point.

I arrived back yesterday. Everything is the same, except the weather. Hallelujah, the sun is shining this weekend! But it seems these are the last sunny days of the year. Today I took a nice long walk on the beach but there were not so many people there. Well, even the coach I took from London was almost empty. Last weekend when I came it was not full, but definitely more people came here for the weekend than this week. The summer is over I guess.

Even the club was empty yesterday. On a Friday evening! I had a few dances but we closed earlier because it was no point to be open. But I still like the people here. So different than in any big cities, they don’t have a business mind and they are so innocent. I had a customer last week, he doesn’t speak too much and he’s just sitting alone with his beer, but he asked me for a dance. When I got naked, I see sparks in his eyes like a little boy when he’s unwrapping his present under the Christmas tree. Bless him! I enjoyed the dance too, I felt special and appreciated. I wish every dance would be the same. He came back this weekend and he just constantly repeated me how beautiful, delightful, special I am. That’s a real ego-boost for me!

Even the women are nice that come to the club. I met 2 girls in their forties and in the first 5 minutes of the conversation they honestly told me that they were prostitutes and “we are in the same boat.” I had a good talk with them, I didn’t feel any competition and bitchiness than usually. You know, there are lots of things I can’t share with my girlfriends outside from the club business. Even they know a lot about my work they can not fully understand the situations. With these girls, we wear the same social stigmas and we can talk honestly about our experiences.

I will miss these kinds of people as these are my last days here. From next week I will jump again in the middle of the mind games as I go back to Switzerland on Monday. Let’s get back to the hardcore business!