When I grew up..

I told you before I always wanted to travel even as a kid. And I also wanted to be on stage as a model or dancer. I remember I was maybe 12 years old when I made some clothes and we were playing a catwalk show with my sister and the girls from my neighbourhood. (The short period when I wanted to be an astronomer and I knew the name of the nebulas, doesn’t count here.) Then designing clothes became a part of the play. First I made them by hand, but later I learned how to use the sewing machine. Later I made my own clothes (and more importantly my mum let me wear them to school!) I even made a few for my friends too. Today I enjoy the great benefits of it when I design my costumes, although I never had a plan back in those days that one day I’ll perform as a stripper.
Also, I was about 12 when I started to write poems. I even won a prize once. Literally, the first money I ever made was from my writing skills. And from the money I won, my mum bought me a gold necklace with a small cross. “That will always remind you of the first money you earned!”
See where I am now? I travelled, I’m on stage, I do modelling and I’m about writing a book. Who told you, you can not reach your dreams???
The poem I wrote and it was read the front of the entire school was about my dreams, what I’d like to see in this world. The first part was about the sea. You think it’s not a big deal, but it is indeed for 12 years old who was living in a country with no beachside and the country just came out of the communist era. The second part was about Africa and a real safari with no cages. Done. 7 months lived in Cape Town was one of my biggest adventures so far. The third part was about landscapes, mountains, waterfalls. And I was lucky enough to see the Mt. Fuji and the Niagara. It sounds crazy that you write down at the age of 12 what you’d like to reach and 20 years later you look back and you say “Damn, I’ve done all!” It’s like making a wish list to the Universe “Hello, these are my dreams. Please, help me to reach them!”
My mum was always supportive and I love her dearly. Then I was a rebel at the age of 15 and I had a wild period (who doesn’t at that age?) I remember when I wanted to go to a party wearing fishnet tights and a leather miniskirt, my mum literally stood in the door hands on the side “you’re not going anywhere dressed like this!” Of course I didn’t measure the danger what could happen if I stood in the bus stop dressed like a hooker (we were living in a small village and the bus stop was on the main road where the truck traffic was quite high) God knows what could happen, but I was so focused on going to that party and I was so upset at her stopping me! Good old days. Now 20 years later we always have a good laugh about this story. But besides going to that party, I got everything I ever dreamed of as a kid.
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You CAN find a canary in this bird feeder

(Referring to those who think you can not.)

Someone told me that there is no possibility to find a canary in a bird feeder. I didn’t know what he meant by that exactly and still don’t know. Probably he was thinking that all strippers are the same and you can’t find a nice, intelligent woman working in this industry. Maybe he just hasn’t met one. Although some girls I worked with in these 8 years spent in Stripperland are very special persons. But to see this speciality, you have to dig a little bit deeper than the fancy costumes and perfume clouds around them. You have a good talk with the customer, not only jumping from table to table “Do you want a private dance? Do you want a private dance?” I’m not a canary, but not a parrot either to repeat myself a hundred times a night saying the same things. With a bottle of champagne you build up a conversation with the client and you get to know lots of interesting things about each other.

But let’s stuck to the title and allow me to be light-hearted in this post. Nothing to take seriously or personal here. But this stripper bird feeder is more colourful and varied than you might think. Not only canaries and parrots come here to get some seeds. We also have some sparrow: she’s the beginner and she has very little idea about the work. She’s shy and usually not flashy with clothes and makeup. Sometimes she looks like a female customer in the club. Average and ordinary. And just like the sparrow, she feels better and safer in other’s company. BUT sometimes these girl has bigger success with customers than the one who works in clubs for years! Because she is fresh, innocent and naive.

We also have peacocks. Just like the male peacock, she has a colourful shiny or neon colour costume that you can spot from any corner of the room. Huge hair extension and extra long eyelashes. But in the morning in the changing room when she takes off all the artificial accessories, she looks like nothing but a huge chicken. Just like the male peacock when he’s losing his tailfeathers. Seriously, I met girls that I didn’t recognise after work without all her trimming!

What else we have.. we have Skylark. She has a sweet voice and she can chirp to your ears until you pay her a private dance. I’ve already mentioned the parrot. She’s the cool and funny one, even can make some tricks. You can teach her words, she will repeat what you said to her. But be careful, just like a parrot, often to others. And we often have crow sitting in a black dress at the bar. She is usually an older dancer who’s not happy with her job (nor with herself). When I’m new in the club, she is the first flying to me and telling how s*** is this club and I won’t make money there because of that and that reasons because she had that and that problem with this club and her list is endless. She really enjoys croaking bad omens. I don’t like this type of girls. Just because she is not happy in the current club, she tries to make me unhappy too and telling me how I can’t make money there when I haven’t worked there only a few hours. Let me see it myself!

I often meet magpie in clubs. About them, I have lots of stories! When something disappears from the apartment or the changing room and nobody has seen anything. In one club a girl took all the other dancer’s money from the apartment and she flew away the next morning. And just like the magpie, they prefer shiny things: pieces of jewellery, money, or your favourite costume. They can make the work very unpleasure, it doesn’t matter how careful you are, it’s always a risk that there is one amongst us.

My favourites are the lovebirds. They fall in love with a customer and stay in one place or settle down. I’ve seen an example of that too. Some quit dancing and have a family by now. And I’m happy if they found their happiness.

And if you ask what type of bird could I be in this bird feeder, I would say I’m a crane. I’m just sitting at the bar and keep my eyes on the water. If I have eye contact or a smile with a customer, that’s a deadly catch. With this strategy, I do mistakes rarely. But the management doesn’t understand and they want to kick my ass all the time because I don’t work. I do but in a less visible way. In this way, I don’t waste my time and I get less rejection. But they prefer the parrot girls who fly to every customer’s shoulder “Do you want a dance?”

So you can see how varied this bird feeder is. Not to mention the fact that some birds are just guests in it as they are flying away to other destinations when the winter (or summer) comes. We don’t stay long in one place if the food is gone, we just spread our wings and you might never see us again. So when you spot a special species in your nearest bird feeder, take a chance to talk to her!

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Laura’s research into lapdance experienses 2.

“How would dancers feel about giving their sexual partner, or someone that they are in a long-term relationship with a lap-dance? If they would do a lap-dance for them, would they do a different routine to the one that they do at work, and why?”

“Do you think that dancers wear the same underwear at home with their partners as they would at work? Would they wear stockings, g-strings or heels?”

I can not talk about others. I only can tell you about my private sex life. I never gave a lap dance to my actual partner. Some might think a stripper in her private life has an intense sex drive and the knowledge of all the Kama Sutra positions, but it’s not necessarily true. I know girls working in clubs and they are quite shy in private life with their partner when it comes to sex. Here I’m not talking about dating, usually my – not so serious – dates request to bring all those sexy stuff if they know I’m a dancer – one asked me to bring a pole and do a show for him. Of course, my dearest desire to carry 15kg plus with me on my date! Not to mention if I do a show, I get paid for it. Actually, it’s a good filter if I can to take the guy seriously because he interested in me or he just wants some fun with a sexy lady.
For me, if I’m in a long-term relationship, I don’t like wearing my work uniform during sex (even if I have a sexier one than the Metropolitan Police), unless my partner wants me to wear them. I prefer no stockings, no suspenders, no g-strings. A’la naturale. I don’t want to feel I’m working, I’m not posing or teasing like at work, but I try to create an intimate atmosphere what I don’t always do with customers. Probably it works for guys in the same way as they want to see me with no make-up on, and I heard often how sexy I am in my nighties or wearing nothing just a simple t-shirt. How strange that it works in a different way as it works for an average woman! They want to feel sexy and they’re buying all those sexy lingerie sets with lace, silk, satin and God know what else, while I want to forget about them. For me, the sexy lingerie set is for Birthdays and Bank Holidays only. 🙂
Why would a guy prefer me being naked or wearing a t-shirt (especially if it’s his) over some sexy lace? The sexy lingerie is just a big show off. It reminds him of the working girl on stage. He wants to see the woman behind the scenes. It gives him the feeling that I belong to him and only to him. Anybody can see me wearing a sexy set on stage, but only he can see me in my home clothes without ten layers of makeup. In this way, he feels more special.
You asked about the routine, what I would do differently. Even if I decide to give a lap-dance to my partner, kissing would be a huge part of the dance. I don’t kiss every customer. And once we start kissing, it would lead us into a foreplay which is not what I do at my work. He would have access to the area on my body that is a big no-no for customers. Not necessary the private parts. I hate when a customer that I don’t even know wants to kiss my neck, but I really enjoy when my partner does it and for me, it’s a big turn on for example. And one more thing would be a huge difference with my partner: there is no time limit! No secretly watching the clock on the wall how many minutes left from the dance. Unfortunately, if he behaves badly, there is also no security there! 🙂 At work, I always have to be eager what’s happening around me while with my partner I just want to get lost in the moment. And it’s a huge difference indeed. I know, I’m a stripper. But such a romantic at the same time!
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Happy Halloween! Boo hoo!

Hm, I think this year I will skip all these Halloween madness as I go back from Paris to London earlier as I planned. Just in case I brought my sexy nurse costume with me to dress up but I don’t feel the need for a crazy Halloween party. I have had it enough. When I was working in London it was always a big deal, we were talking about costumes and make-ups and decoration even a month before. I’m sure for clubs it’s a very good business every year because everyone likes to dress up and being abnormal for a night.
We don’t celebrate Halloween in my country. We have All Saint’s Day on the 1st of November according to the Catholic tradition. It’s a “fundamental belief that there is a prayerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and the living” this day so we remember our beloved ones who died and we go to the cemeteries to lit a candle for their soul. If you cross the country by night and you pass a cemetery this time, it’s beautiful with all those hundreds of little lights in the dark. And I have someone to remember: my grandma passed away this year while I was in Japan and I felt pretty bad that I couldn’t come back for the funeral. So at least this day I want to show my respect to her. If I would have a chance I go to the Sacre Coeur but I try to find a quiet corner and lit the candle. This year for me the Halloween definitely not about scary masks and fake blood all over.
Last year I had an awful Halloween party at work. I was in Macau at that time. They made it nice with Bloody Mary welcome drinks and costume competition; some girls had an amazing look! Me, I’ve done the hardcore party at work on the previous night. I was drinking champagne from the bottle, it was great fun and I got so so drunk! Unbelievable how much Chinese can drink and how much they enjoy to make the girls drunk! But on the 31st I was not able to get out the bed. I made a joke that for Halloween I’m going to be a zombie, I don’t even need make-up! I was creepy enough when I looked in the mirror.
I called the manager to ask him to stay at home but he said: “Come on, Lindsay, it’s Halloween party, I need all the girls on the floor!” Great. I have no idea how but I collected all my energy and I made it work. Well, not the perfectly done Sugar Skull make-up that I planned to pain on my face. On my way at work, I popped into a shop and I bought some green and orange T-shirts, cut them in pieces, I draw a face on the orange one and I was the Jack(queline) O’ Lantern. That was all my availability and creativity for that night. But I really wasn’t well. I had to ask the DJ to call another girl on stage and I run to the toilette. I was so sick. It was not the most memorable Halloween party in my life for sure!
But all can be very special with good decoration and little ideas that bring more customers to celebrate the Halloween in a strip club rather than just in a normal nightclub. All those sexy devils and nurses are waiting for you tonight! So don’t be scared! Maybe some horny vampire would suck your…. uhumm… blood! 🙂
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