friendship Archives - HeartBrokenStilettos

Those sweet temptations

Here comes another confession from me. I don’t consider myself as bisexual although at work customers often like to have fun with two or more girls that like each other also in a sexual way.

And it’s always easier for the girls too to sit with one customer as they can get rid of the drinks easier not to mention easier to keep him (and his hands) under control.

So of course when a client asks me if I like girls, I would answer “Yes, can I introduce my friend to you?” In that case, I’m in the game, light touching and kissing make the moment more sexy and playful.

In private life, my curious nature has been already satisfied, so I no longer look for these temptations. However, it seems they still find me. But it’s totally different when I sense an honest interest from one of my colleagues. I’m not getting easily embarrassed when it comes to flirt with men but when a girl is flirting with me it has a different flavour. Honestly, this still can embarrass me.

There was one girl in Belgium when she made her show on stage, she often tried to keep eye contact with me as she was making the show only for me. That flirtatious smile, winks and so on, you know.

When she got drunk her behaviour was more intense and more obvious. Even my friend, Giselle noticed it once and she told me “It seems I need to protect you from her!” True, she was a bit of an aggressive type, not my taste though.

Other time happened when I was in Cape Town. There is a rooftop sunbathing area for the dancers and with Giselle, we enjoyed spending the afternoons there as it was our escape from Europe’s winter. Then I noticed that one of the girls from the club always appeared a few minutes after I arrived. She tried to talk to me but I was with Giselle – my bodyguard – and I preferred talking to her as we speak the same language. But the girl never tried to make a conversation with Giselle, only with me. Or if yes, it was about me, like “Where is Lindsay today? Doesn’t she come to the pool?” Giselle made fun out of it, but I told her she was exaggerating it, the girl was just friendly (maybe lonely and she wanted to talk to someone, I thought.) But once I was having a pizza in the living room, it was more than enough for me and I don’t mind to share my food with the people around, so I asked her if she would like to have a bite. We were talking for a while about the club life in general, the pizza was gone and she suddenly offered me a bottle of wine and I was invited into her room. Yapp, Giselle was right! I rejected the offer although she was very pretty and such a sweet person, I had no interest in her in that way.

My latest admire is also one of my colleagues. You know it’s nothing more flattering for a woman than another woman’s honest compliments and desire to get to know her better which goes beyond sympathy and friendliness. I heard from lots of men that “You’re gorgeous, you have a beautiful body, you’re beautiful, blah blah” But when this girl told me “Lindsay, your body is just perfect!” with sincerity and a genuine smile, it made me blush. That night she had her regular customer and somehow she managed that I got invited to the table. We had bottles after bottles, the champagne was flowing and the air got more and more intense between us. At one point I realised the roles were changed at the table and I got entertained by my colleague instead of the customer. He sat between us and the girl bent over him to reach out my hand and caress my tights. “I never touched such smooth skin!” The guy just laid back and enjoyed the situation – and paid for our drinks. That night she was clearly trying to seduce me.

When we finished the shift, I went to the back door to leave the club. She came after me to say goodnight and she kissed me on the lips. A sweet, gentle goodnight kiss. Nothing more as I didn’t give her a green signal to go further.

Although nothing happened between us, the situation made me smile. She’s like a doll. Really. A beautiful woman with a kind heart. It’s actually a very satisfying feeling to know if I change my interest in women, I could have such a beautiful lover that most of the guys just dream about.

The German Experience – Osnabrück

Here I am. Germany. Again. I chose it because it’s time to refresh my German a bit, I haven’t used it for maybe 14 years. Right now I’m in a small town in Northwest Germany, called Osnabruck. I arrived on Friday and started to work. I made a joke that I came from the airport straight to the stage but actually, it’s true. When I told the manager I’d like to take a shower before work she just looked at me like I am an alien. Shower? What for? But I convinced her so she let me take a quick shower and I made a 5 mins make-up and let’s the show start!

The system here is I get €40 fix salary per day, after 10 mins private dance I get €20, coctail €5, piccolo €10 (that’s a small bottle of prosecco) and the dancers make an american tour after each dance on stage to collect the house dollars which is €0.5. And then the bottles from €100 to €400, the dancer get 20% commission. Pretty much the same system in Germany almost everywhere. Friday was not so busy as I thought. I had some drinks and dances but some girls made zero. On a Friday night! Saturday didn’t seem to be promising either. We open at 9pm (until 5am) and the people started to come only after midnight. That’s the most boring couple of hours waiting! You don’t have anybody to talk to, the other girls still look at you like stranger, no customer to entertain, and you are not allowed to use your phone for passing the time (which I never understand, what’s the point of it when there is no customers?!) But luckily after midnight the club got busy and everyone made some money. I had 5 private dances with the same group of guys. They were quite funny and entertaining. One of them paid a private dance but he made a topless show for me in the cabin. I was full laughing and giggling, if someone heard me from outside I’m sure he questioned what the hell’s going on in there. But I didn’t care, I had fun. It was not the “I got naked and he tries to touch me everywhere” kind of dance. Sometimes it’s good to play stupid, it can be very refreshing.

But then we had some weirdos. A guy who constantly were using the ladies toilet until a girl find out he was jerking there and he left every bits of his sperm on the toilet seat. Such a nice gesture! Well, there are intelligent and not so intelligent people here in Germany too…

But the funniest thing: I met a girl here again that I worked with in another club. Let’s say we didn’t become friends there. Here I didn’t recognised her (which is strange from me because usually, I’m the one who saying first “I know you, we were working together here and here.” But with this girl, we even introduced ourselves in the changing room and none of us recognised the other! Then later she came to me:

“Have you worked in Luxembourg?”

Shit, it came to my mind immediately and I remember all! She was a proper bitch to me! Once we were sitting at the same table with customers and a bottle of champagne and she told the guy I poured the champagne on the carpet. It was obvious that she told him because he sat showing his back to me, he couldn’t see it unless he has eyes on the back too. And then he told the manager “Why I should pay another bottle if she just wasting it?” (I see his point but we are talking about 4 or 5 bottles divide between 2 girls because they didn’t drink champagne, so it’s 2 or 2.5 bottle each just at that table, you really can’t think we can drink that much! But I always make sure nobody sees when I get rid of some.) So I left the table and they paid another bottle to another girl. I was very pissed and pissed off.

For some reason, she didn’t like me, even when she came to the club on her day off with one of her friends and they bought dollars to the girls, they gave to everyone except me. Another story I remember about her is one girl had some alcohol in her bag in the changing room and she was 100% sure that this girl told the manager about it. That girl almost got fired. I don’t like this kind of mentality, we are in the same boat, we should help each other not making the work more difficult for the others.

But now we work together again! Not to mention we share the same room (2 girls per room)! I try to treat it like we just met first time here and it seems she also. On the first days, I’m so depend on the other girls and it wouldn’t be a good idea to start a new job fighting with someone. We won’t be friends for sure, but I don’t want to continue when we left in Luxembourg. And we found a mutual habit! We went to the store together to buy food and she just told me she’s going to buy some wine. Lately, it became my habit too to keep some in my fridge and drink when I feel to so I got bright sparks in my eyes at work. A drink buddy! Specially when I saw the prices here. I can’t understand why is so cheap here. I like the Pinot Grigio which is in England around £6, here only €3 (£2.5) So we bought not one but 2 bottles. I’m not a typical dancer who needs a little boost before work but I can’t say no to a good wine. And maybe the saying is right as a bottle of wine makes good friendship (or at least makes a bad one normal) We drank one bottle at home and as a good alcoholic dancer would do, we put the other one in a plastic bottle and we took it to work. But after the boring start, I had no mood to carry on drinking, and after I had no time to do so. Here is stage show all night, that means I have to dance maybe 7-8 times on stage. After 2 days I don’t feel my feet. Lately, I worked in clubs where I didn’t dance, I even made a joke that I’m an exotic talker instead of an exotic dancer. But I have a feeling this would be the place where I need to purchase a new pair of dancer shoes, refering to the name of the blog.

But my new friend finished the wine plus she had drinks with customers and after work, she tried to convince me to go with her to a bar for some beer when my only wishes are a shower, a foot massage and my bed. And of course after that amount of alcohol she showed the side of her that I had that much problems with in Luxembourg but this time she wasn’t complaining about me and called me a bitch but she was complaining about other girls to me. Oh well…

Santa Baby, hurry down the chimney tonight..

Been an awful good girl, Santa baby,
so hurry down the chimney tonight…

As I don’t work during the holiday season this year – I go to Italy only after Christmas – I have not many stories to tell. So I decided to share my best Christmas memories ever.
Giselle and I arrived at Cape Town in October. We planned to come back before Christmas to spend it with our family, but during the work there we changed our minds – and our tickets – and we decided to spend the Christmas together in the sunnier hemisphere. The work in Cape Town was a bit complicated, let’s say very hectic financially. The club charged us almost 300€ per week for the accommodation and the house fee. The income was unsure. Sometimes I made this 300€ a night, and I had no more headache the rest of the week, but there were weeks when I made only this amount plus a little more to pay for my food. So after 2 months staying we had not much money in the pocket, and everyone was talking about the biggest mining conference in early February when the girls make thousands of African Rand, I thought I have nothing to lose if I stay longer. And we haven’t done much of our African adventures as we planned before, without that it would have been a serious pain in my heart to leave Africa.

Think of all the fun I’ve missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed…

So we were ready for our Christmas. In the club, every girl needed to do a special fantasy show once a week. As we were new with some others without the full choreography of our fantasy shows, we were chosen to do the Christmas show every night for one week on the Santa Baby song by Eartha Kitt. There were 10 girls, they split us into 2 groups, A and B, one night the group A made the show, second night the group B. The choreography was simple, but we had so much fun to learn it! There was one Colombian girl in our group, she didn’t speak English well, all she could say was “Me? No!” Whatever introduction she got from the choreographer, that was her answer too. Sometimes with Giselle, we were just secretly looked at each other and winked. Tried not to burn out in loud laughter. The other was a black girl who constantly gave us reason to smile. She was simply dumb (nothing to do with her skin colour, but she was totally blank in her head) She spoke English but against that, when everybody had to turn left, she turned right, when we needed to sit down, she stood up. We were sure about the success of the show!

Santa cutie, and fill my stockings with a duplex,
and checks. Sign your “X” on the line…

Luckily the club was closed for Christmas. On Boxing Day we packed our swimming suits and beach towels and we went to Camps Bay where we decided to spend the whole day. As Camps Bay has such a white sandy beach, we made a joke that we managed to have a white Christmas, but not in an ordinary way. I must say that was one of my most relaxed holiday seasons for me! No crazy Christmas shopping, no crowded shopping centres, no traffic jam. I bought a tiny little tree and some African handmade decoration so we even had our own decorated Christmas tree with us. A perfect sunny day on the beach in December.

Santa baby, I wanna yacht, and really that’s not a lot…

Later we had dinner in a local restaurant. The food was nice but the dessert we ordered was horrible! Again one more reason to laugh. It looked strange and tasted even stranger, but nothing could turn that day into a bad one, so we were just laughing that a simple vanilla-chocolate ice cream combo would have been a much better choice. Never mind! We were in South Africa, on the beach, watching the sunset at Christmas, a few days without work and a bottle of wine.. what else we could wish more?

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring…

I’m wishing you a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

Thank you for reading!

I feel this is a good time to say thank you to all reading my blog. When I started almost a year ago, I never thought it will attract so many people and I will get so many emails and questions. I’m honoured. (OK, I don’t mention the guy who emailed me because he wanted to buy my panties. LOL) I’m not the best to keep in contact and I have limited time to answer, but I try my best to answer to everyone.

I must say since I came back to London, I had to realise I have not many friends here. I travelled a lot, I have friends all over the world, but I spent very little time here in London in the last 4 years and my friendships became stale. The clubs I used to work here are sold, and the girls I worked with moved to other city or back to their home country. The people from the restaurant never knew where I went after I quit from there. Everyone knows I went to Greece on holiday and maybe the best way just to let them think so. Not everyone needs to know I became a stripper. And since I started to write and talk about my purpose to write a book, I experience some envy. Oh, a woman cannot digest if some other fellas have more ambition! And I don’t want people in my social circle that turn as the wind blows. I’m trying to be honest and I don’t want hypocritical so-called friends around me. I think it’s time for some radical changes and just cut people off. I just read it somewhere “cutting the negative people out of your life doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.” Maybe I should respect myself a little more and enjoy meeting up with new friends.

So this time all those support and encouraging words I got from you, really means a lot to me. I trust myself but even a stripper can have bad days and needs some supporting people around her. Be honest I felt tired and a little burned out in the last months, that’s why I decided to stay away from clubs for a while. Not to mention the alcohol that my system needs to get rid of and do some serious detox before we enter the holiday season. And I can start the New Year fresh and ready for more stripper experience.

So all I can say is a big Thank You for reading! And all I can promise is to keep up writing and sharing my life stories with you.

From Paris With Love

Eiffel tower, Arc de Triomphe and Champs Elysees. It’s a beautiful city although I have to confess it’s not my favourite. Or maybe just because I always arrived at the Gare du Nord – if I come from London by Eurostar – and it doesn’t give the best first impression of Paris. That area is just so dirty and dodgy, especially at night. But the dancers’ apartment is in the centre, just 10 minutes walk from the Arc de Triomphe and the building is quite quiet. Luckily.

The work is okay. I already know that my perfect place where I’d like to stay longer doesn’t exist. Here the club is renewed, beautiful and shiny. All well designed. One of the prettiest interior of clubs I’ve ever worked. The staff is nice. The girls are nice too. No pressure on girls at work, everyone works in her own tempo. The apartment is okay. Quiet, not so crowded and the cleanness is all right. I have only problems with customers. So unfriendly, so cold! And they don’t want to spend money. I’m a bit surprised because by my experience French guys like me. But here they even feel offended if I ask for a dance. For f*** sake, relax, I’m just doing my job!

Like yesterday: we had 6 guys at the table. They bought a bottle of drink for themselves but they drunk very slowly. All of them was on their mobile phone. I even made a joke that we should open an Internet cafe rather than a strip club. They didn’t even watch the stage show, just took a few photos (which is prohibited) and posted on their Facebook, WhatsApp etc. I saw because I was sitting behind them. And they even felt offended when a girl went over trying to sell a dance. They were quite rude actually. But guys, can you explain to me something? If I want to buy a new pair of shoes, I go to the shoe shop. You come to a strip club because you’re interested in girls. So don’t make faces when a pretty lady tries to communicate with you. Or go home to watch TV instead! I never understand this behaviour. Here I make money only after the dances. No drink commission. (Oh, my liver is very happy!) Some beautiful, experienced girls sit with a guy and make jokes and smile for hours to get a table dance. That means €11 for the dancer. (!) Tips are very rare. So show a little respect! Because this is not what some guys think when they say “You have an easy job. Easy money. You just have to be beautiful.” Really? And definitely, don’t complain that the girls look so unhappy if you behave like a douchebag with them.

But some happy moments happened to me since I’m here. The first night I arrived, I posted a photo of the Arc de Triomphe on my Instagram. And a guy that I know from Guadeloupe sent me a message. He is a professional photographer there but we never met in person as he broke his arm when we had the photo shooting arranged. And guess what? He is in Paris too! So yesterday we met for a coffee. That’s what I like about travelling. I’m from London, he’s from Guadeloupe and we meet in Paris! The same happened to me when I was in Macau. I know a guy from Hong Kong and we met in South Africa when I was working there. And after 2 years we met again just like good friends that they saw each other last just a few days before. I like the feeling that in any country I go on this planet I know someone there. That’s amazing!

Also, I know a Spanish girl from Guadeloupe (it seems Guadeloupe is the centre of my world right now) We were not close friends there but we keep in touch via Facebook time by time. And I sent her a message that there is one girl here looks exactly like her, same face, same hairstyle and that girl reminds me of her so much. And she wrote me back: “That’s my sister!” And she’s coming here too in 10 days, so we will work together again for a short term. So funny! I think our planet is really such a small one. Now her sister and I are waiting for her in Paris.

And I have the feeling that this place has even more surprising for me! Maybe not every road leads to Rome but to Paris!