HeartBrokenStilettos

Women in the club

It’s quite funny to see when a woman comes to the club and she tries to outdo the strippers. I told you earlier, there is such a big competition between the girls already, but some female customers want to show us she can get the same attention, without knowing anything about our job. She asks if she’s allowed to go on stage and do a dance. Usually, the little devil whispers in his ears and the manager doesn’t say no, just for fun. But for us, it’s just pathetic seeing a “normal” woman trying to spin on the pole and seduce the audience, just like we do. Yes, usually she’s drunk as hell, and her movement is uncoordinated.

She has no idea that dancing on stage is just one little part of our work, selling drinks, participating in mind games and dealing with difficult customers require more, than just having the courage to take off our bra in public.

Sometimes they didn’t even ask if they can go on stage; it happened in Belgium that two women came in with their partners, they ordered a bottle of champagne, and all night they were running around the club without their blouses. Although the worst, when a dancer of another club comes in and she wants to show off on stage that she’s better than everybody in the room. Women, eh? Do you believe now that it is such a competitive world?

In Luxembourg, I remember there were two men and a woman, they were colleagues and they came in after a company event. They were pretty pissed already but booked me in the open VIP lounge with a bottle of champagne. I, the stripper was elegantly sitting on the sofa drinking the champagne while the woman was taking the alcohol like a sponge. The guys begged me to do a striptease, but they didn’t want to pay for a private dance – and in that case, I don’t earn money – so I danced a little for both men but with my clothes on. Just for a little teasing, they might change their minds and be willing to pay for a private dance. Suddenly the woman thought she can do it better, she pushed me back to the sofa, and she started to “dance” in front of her colleagues. She took her top off, she was touching herself and rubbing her body to their crotches.

“Darling, you are way too wrong if you think this is my job!” I thought but said nothing. I was only wondering how she could look in their eyes the next day at work.

When the champagne was gone and she started to get in their pants, I decided to leave the table. There was nothing more left for me from the part of the entertaining and the sensual fantasies, she did everything to them.

I don’t compete with such a woman! They ordered one more bottle of champagne but they didn’t book another dancer. After 15 minutes out of curiosity I glanced to the VIP, it was open so I could see what was going on. One of the guys fingered her even then.

And people call me a slut because I’m a professional stripper! Isn’t it ironic?

My thoughts on dick pics

Once in London, I finished my shift and I was in a hurry to catch my night bus from Tottenham Court Road. I was at the bus stop when a young guy stepped in front of me holding his mobile close to my face.

“Look!”

It was a picture of a – I suggest his – penis. It’s okay to be proud of your precious male part, but why do you think I want to see it, especially in this way of presentation? Is this the only thing you can offer to a woman, does it make you a man?

I don’t understand the male behaviour when they send a picture of their penises before sending a photo of their faces.

Lots of theories are out there, but I – as a simple woman – cannot understand that. I’m not talking about when the man is in a naughty mood with someone and the two are exchanging superheated messages and erotic fantasies. As a part of that, I have sent pictures of myself and I will. I’m not a prude. And in this circumstance, I find it natural to satisfy someone’s curiosity how you look or send a picture what kind of effect you make on the other person’s body in that very moment on the other end of the virtual world. In long distant relationships, they are a different question, it’s a reward to know that my partner is thinking about me even if he’s miles away.

But these unwanted R-rated sexual photos from guys are the biggest turn off for women.

If you’re a woman, have you ever received an unsolicited dick photo from a guy and thought, “What the hell was he thinking?” You’re chatting with some guy online, you think it might progress to a date and then, suddenly there is a random picture of his penis with the meaning: I’m ready for you! Or if you don’t answer their messages, they will show you what you’re missing out in this way. It’s surely not appropriate sexual behaviour or at least not when you want to get to know somebody.

I have to tell you dear Gents, those pictures are unwelcome. Most women appreciate a good body including the male part, but we are really turned on by the man’s intellect, his gentleness and his strength. I’d like to know these qualities before he expresses himself sexually, not vice versa.

Something about this particular type of exhibitionism is really irresistible to some men. Of course, women are also curious, but when we ask for these kinds of pictures or when we are happy to accept them, we are already turned on by the man’s other male aspects like the strength of character or intelligence. The female brain is wired in a totally different way than the male brain that’s why men can be turned on easier by visually sexy effects. Dear men, for the women it works differently, please try to understand that! Actually, most of us can be turned off by receiving this kind of treatment. I wouldn’t even want to know what these men think would be appropriate to send if we are in a relationship!

We live in an age of narcissism where many people believe that they are better than they really are, or sexier than they are.

Some guys out there are really into themselves and their phalluses, and they assume that the woman will be, too, and she will send a sexy picture to them in return. They might think in that way: “I showed you mine, now you show me yours!” Some of them are insecure about their penises and silently they ask for approval, others are uncomfortable to properly express themselves with words that they want to have sex with a girl, so they send a picture of their penises instead. Others use it as a form of sexual harassment.

Women do not find pictures of penises to be aesthetically pleasing at all. We find the whole man we like pleasing, not only his manhood. Men fundamentally misunderstand how most women feel about these type of pictures. And they truly believe it works.

(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

https://publioboox.com/en_gb/bedtime-stories-from-stripperland

Photoblog – Singapore, Palawan beach

Every time I travel I like to meet local people. Photo camera is a bonus 🙂

Photos by Christopher Tan

https://500px.com/christan

https://www.instagram.com/chrislens3/

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The way to a stripper’s heart

“On my journey, I have met lots of different men. Some were saints, others were sinners. If my Prince Charming hasn’t come to me on this road, I decided to set out for him. Somewhere our paths will meet and I will recognise in him the man I was waiting for in my entire life, it doesn’t matter what kind of disguise he wears to hide his true self.”

I wrote in my book if I met the right guy, I would recognise him whatever mask he wears. By the time I finished the book, I met someone special at work. I met him in the period when my book was finished but hadn’t been published yet.

How funny, I didn’t want to approach him at the beginning. He was playing on the slot machine and I didn’t want to disturb him, but my boss poked me:

“Go to him, he’s a good customer!”

He called me and treated me like a Princess from the beginning. Can you imagine how much the other girls in the club hated me because of that?? (I wonder if he knew about what kind of book I was working on..)
In that shitty club I was working, he made me feel special.

He was not perfect, but I’m not perfect either. We had some fights, especially when I was drunk at work and I was more passionate about everything than usual. But we found compromises in everything that brought problems to the table. Sometimes the situation was a bit overheated but a few days later we were just laughing at it.

When I changed clubs and needed to travel to another city, he offered me his help that he could take me there in his car and I accepted it with no fears.

When one week later he visited me on that new place, I did something I’ve never ever done before: I paid his bill in the club because he didn’t have enough cash. He didn’t ask, I offered.

I sneaked out from work to my room above the club and brought him the money. You see, I’m not your average stripper! Paying the customer’s bill (5 bottles of expensive champagne) sounds pretty crazy, right? But I trusted him from the beginning and he paid back the last penny I gave him.

Maybe he was not my Mr Right, but he treated me in the right way as man never treated me before. It was not about the five-star hotels, but I’m not gonna lie, I loved that luxury. It was about how he opened the door for me in those hotels and how he helped me with the luggage. Or when a drunk guy at work tried to convince me why I needed immediately to have sex with him, he saw the situation, got my hand without a word and escorted me to his table. In that move there was no possession, “this is my girl” or anything, just the well-known old chivalry.

Lots of guys just dream about dating a stripper. Well, if they behave like most of our customers, no wonder why they don’t have a chance. How to put it in the right way: you have 20 balls in front of you, 19 red and only one blue. The blue one will get your attention, simply because it’s different from the others.
I’m a stripper but also a woman. And just because I’m a stripper, I don’t tolerate misbehaved guys, I would rather go for someone who is different, who knows how to treat a woman and make her feel special.

The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine.

This lifestyle still holds so many secrets. Some people have no clue about it. Men see the pretty girl on stage doing some erotic moves and slowly taking her clothes off while they fantasise what they would do with her body in private.

Dancing is the best aphrodisiac as the soft moves of the body helps to unblock the sexual energies.

Men like to watch a woman dancing because they can keep an eye on her from a distance seeing her whole body as it moves with the rhythm of the music and makes her irresistibly desirable for them. I know exactly what effects I make with my performance. Men enjoy watching the dance while women are more judgemental towards us. This is totally fine. But I want to point out that we dancers are normal people just like anybody else. We also cry and share the same feelings. Sometimes we are desperate or confused, and sometimes we want to give up everything for a man we trust, just like those women who never worked in this nightlife. I’ve seen many movies about strippers life, being constantly drunk and taking drugs, being forced into prostitution. I must say I have never been forced to do anything I didn’t want to do.

Maybe I was young, naive or a little drunk when I stretched my boundaries, but I wouldn’t consider myself deviant because of that.

The judgement is yours. The lessons are mine. Until today I have no regrets about my choice. If I had a chance to change my life, probably I would do everything in the same way I did in the past. It’s not only the easy money, not even the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen but all the life lessons I’ve learned during this period. They made me strong without losing myself. They opened my eyes but still kept me cautious at the same time. I’ve learned a lot about myself, but most importantly I’ve learned how to handle my limits and how to push my boundaries further.

(From the book Bedtime Stories from Stripperland)

https://publioboox.com/en_gb/bedtime-stories-from-stripperland