HeartBrokenStilettos

Photoblog – Budapest dream

These photos are from last summer when I worked with a talented Hungarian photographer. I was very happy with the photos but sadly after he stopped taking pictures.

Photos by Laszlo Racz

https://hungarianportrait.com/

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I have good news for you: my book is finally finished! The most exciting period is yet to come, to find a publisher or literary agent whom I can establish a good relationship for my future plans. Difficult, but it’s not impossible. If I could have reached the point where I’m standing now, there is nothing to stop me from achieving my goals.

I had amazing years of experience in nightlife working as an exotic dancer what made me who I am today and shaped my opinion about men and relationships.

During my work I have realised lots of men don’t know how to approach a dancer, this points to the fact that lots of men don’t know how to approach a woman. The book is about how they shouldn’t approach a dancer or a woman. I didn’t want to write an erotic novel, just to share certain situations and facts about what’s happening in clubs. The main idea was while the whole world is judgemental towards strippers, nobody really talks about those men who have to resort to our service and how they behave. I bared the social stigma for long enough. People judged me for who I am and what I do, this time let me judge other people, first of all, men who come to the clubs. Because these clubs will exist until men have the desire to come in, but nobody judges them for this pastime. I found lots of books written by sex workers, like The Girlfriend Experience by Rebecca Dakin, but not many strippers wrote books about their work. Maybe there are some books on the American market, but there they have a different style and system in clubs than we have in Europe. The books I’ve read about the stripping industry were more like social studies.

My book is basically a bunch of my stories from the blog about strip clubs but focusing on the behaviour of the average customers. I wrote it with the same openness and honesty as I wrote on my blog. The book is based on Prince Charming and fairy tales, because I haven’t met lots of Prince Charming in those clubs, but more often other characters of fairy tales, like the Big Bad Wolf or the childish Peter Pan.

Growing older I must say I haven’t met my Prince Charming yet. Some good Prince Charming material yes, who had the potential but indeed I met lots of Prince Charmless.

Just for fun, I put them and their stories into 12 categories. I don’t want to give an impression that I was dating a lot but if we think about it, every introduction to a customer is like a date when I want to gain his attention and seduce him to get in the private, while he’s offering me drinks. I’m quite judgemental towards men, it’s true. As one of my friends say, the book is harsh and he thinks it can be successful, but he’s happy that he’s not the man who wants to impress me though.

My future plan is to work as a dating coach, I have finished the course this year and to write more books. I’m not thinking about writing self-help books on dating as there are so many already on the market but talking about real relationship issues in fiction. I already have further ideas for other books. Another privilege of me besides being smart, that I’m pretty. Seriously talking, I’ve done some modelling and I’m pretty comfortable front of the camera so I think photo materials could complete the image of a sexy writer as I’m planning to cooperate with more photographers in the future and create more high-quality photos.

My book has been overviewed by two of my friends, one is a photographer and writer himself but he has never been in a strip club in his entire life, the other friend knows every bit of this word and I know him from a club. For the result, both the opinion and support were used for the final touch on the book. Here I’d like to thank them for their help and I’m thankful for those who don’t lose hope in me during this period.

https://publioboox.com/en_gb/bedtime-stories-from-stripperland

Photoblog – geroart.com

I’m always glad to organise some photoshoot during my working contract with the clubs so I can work with photographers from all over the world.

Here is one photo from my latest photoshoot in Germany. I’m very pleased with the result, the photographer is a genius!

http://www.geroart.com/

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Those sweet temptations

Here comes another confession from me. I don’t consider myself as bisexual although at work customers often like to have fun with two or more girls that like each other also in a sexual way.

And it’s always easier for the girls too to sit with one customer as they can get rid of the drinks easier not to mention easier to keep him (and his hands) under control.

So of course when a client asks me if I like girls, I would answer “Yes, can I introduce my friend to you?” In that case, I’m in the game, light touching and kissing make the moment more sexy and playful.

In private life, my curious nature has been already satisfied, so I no longer look for these temptations. However, it seems they still find me. But it’s totally different when I sense an honest interest from one of my colleagues. I’m not getting easily embarrassed when it comes to flirt with men but when a girl is flirting with me it has a different flavour. Honestly, this still can embarrass me.

There was one girl in Belgium when she made her show on stage, she often tried to keep eye contact with me as she was making the show only for me. That flirtatious smile, winks and so on, you know.

When she got drunk her behaviour was more intense and more obvious. Even my friend, Giselle noticed it once and she told me “It seems I need to protect you from her!” True, she was a bit of an aggressive type, not my taste though.

Other time happened when I was in Cape Town. There is a rooftop sunbathing area for the dancers and with Giselle, we enjoyed spending the afternoons there as it was our escape from Europe’s winter. Then I noticed that one of the girls from the club always appeared a few minutes after I arrived. She tried to talk to me but I was with Giselle – my bodyguard – and I preferred talking to her as we speak the same language. But the girl never tried to make a conversation with Giselle, only with me. Or if yes, it was about me, like “Where is Lindsay today? Doesn’t she come to the pool?” Giselle made fun out of it, but I told her she was exaggerating it, the girl was just friendly (maybe lonely and she wanted to talk to someone, I thought.) But once I was having a pizza in the living room, it was more than enough for me and I don’t mind to share my food with the people around, so I asked her if she would like to have a bite. We were talking for a while about the club life in general, the pizza was gone and she suddenly offered me a bottle of wine and I was invited into her room. Yapp, Giselle was right! I rejected the offer although she was very pretty and such a sweet person, I had no interest in her in that way.

My latest admire is also one of my colleagues. You know it’s nothing more flattering for a woman than another woman’s honest compliments and desire to get to know her better which goes beyond sympathy and friendliness. I heard from lots of men that “You’re gorgeous, you have a beautiful body, you’re beautiful, blah blah” But when this girl told me “Lindsay, your body is just perfect!” with sincerity and a genuine smile, it made me blush. That night she had her regular customer and somehow she managed that I got invited to the table. We had bottles after bottles, the champagne was flowing and the air got more and more intense between us. At one point I realised the roles were changed at the table and I got entertained by my colleague instead of the customer. He sat between us and the girl bent over him to reach out my hand and caress my tights. “I never touched such smooth skin!” The guy just laid back and enjoyed the situation – and paid for our drinks. That night she was clearly trying to seduce me.

When we finished the shift, I went to the back door to leave the club. She came after me to say goodnight and she kissed me on the lips. A sweet, gentle goodnight kiss. Nothing more as I didn’t give her a green signal to go further.

Although nothing happened between us, the situation made me smile. She’s like a doll. Really. A beautiful woman with a kind heart. It’s actually a very satisfying feeling to know if I change my interest in women, I could have such a beautiful lover that most of the guys just dream about.

Greetings from Germany!

Just a quick update because I didn’t write here lately:

The club where I work now, it reminds me of the first club I worked. A bit quiet but nice and relaxing. I like everything about it. The accommodation is just super, I have my own room with my own bathroom and kitchenette. I don’t need to share it with other dancers.

And I was a little shocked upon arrival when I saw the boss cleaning up the room for me, usually, they just leave it as the previous girl left it, and I have to clean before I move in. Those girls who travel for work know it’s very rare in this business. Dancers apartments are usually dirty and overcrowded.

Here if I want to run around naked all day, I can do it. I’m by myself. (No, it’s not boring! That’s my well-desired peacefulness!)

I like working with German guys. They are polite and easygoing, they know if they come to the club, it costs them some money. Not all buy drinks or dances, but at least they buy dollars tipping the dancers. Just a very few think they are in a cinema and they can just watch without paying. Here is no stage show all night, if they don’t pay, we don’t dance. Perfect! I like this house rule, it’s just a waste of energy dancing for guys if they don’t pay. It makes you tired for nothing. Here I don’t feel tired since I’m here (end of September) I only took one day off. The town is small but great, lots of parks around if I feel unmotivated or just need a good walk.

And I also have a good relationship with the people in the club. Funny, those who can speak English here, I don’t want to talk to them, and those I like to speak only German or very little English. It’s just putting me to learn more German, which is great! I already regretted the time I spent in other countries without learning the language, here I have a bit more chance to do so. I also think about going back to school, so I dusted my old psychology books and brought them with me. It keeps me occupied these days. When the club is not busy, I’m sitting in the corner wearing lingerie and heavy make-up and reading the Introduction to social psychology book or German grammar. Funny though, but you know by now I’m not your average stripper.

So for all these reasons above, I feel I’m in the perfect place right now. I think my travels stop here, I will come back to this club only. No more reason for me searching for other clubs.

I’m happy where I am now.