B. Lindsay Belan, Author at HeartBrokenStilettos

Would you live with a stripper?

The thought of living with a bombshell who can turn you on 7/24 is exciting, right? But let me tell you something. The following information is not general but unfortunately, I’ve seen it many times as I lived more than 30 apartments in different countries. Strippers hate to clean. Of course, you always can find an exception just like me 🙂 but seriously after I arrive at a new place, my first things on the shopping list are toilet rolls, cleaning wipes, sponge and washing up liquid.

Usually, clubs provide accommodation for the girl who travels. Very often is above the club but can be a very nice apartment booked in the nearest hotel just like I had it in Geneva. I found it funny when a customer asked me if we are sleeping on mattresses.. 🙂 But since I dance my best place to stay was in Cape Town, South Africa, where the club has the whole building next door (opposite the police station so it’s absolutely safe!) to accommodate around 100 girls. 3 floors, big rooms for 2 or 3 girls, big kitchens, clean bathrooms, a rooftop with a small swimming pool, a sunbathing area and a cleaner every day! What a bless!

In Europe, girls don’t stay long in one place. They go to work for 2-3 weeks and then home to their country and back again. In that case, most of them unfortunately never feel the apartment as it’s their home, even for a short time. They never feel that they have a responsibility to clean after themselves when they move out, saying the new girl will do it anyway. Same with the dirty dishes. I personally don’t cook in those places. I rather eat somewhere or buy just a ready-made microwave food, because often I don’t want to touch anything in the kitchen. Jesus, I’ve seen a girl doing the dirty dishes with a soap bar! Not even liquid soap! Can you imagine? But at least this girl tried to do something. Most of the time girls finish work drunk, they cook and eat in the morning, but simply forget to clean after themselves. Next day they don’t remember but they are standing angrily in the middle of the kitchen and arguing with everybody because they can’t find a clean spoon! And sadly the dirty dishes stay in the sink for days until someone has enough and clean up all the mess.

Or even in Cape Town, we had a serious meeting because someone was using the toilet not in a ‘normal’ way. The cleaner was complaining because 2 or 3 times she found the thing on the floor, just right next to the toilet.. covered with toilet paper. WTF? I found it extremely funny, but still, I can’t imagine myself so drunk that I can’t find a toilet seat…

But my favourite is when the club charges the dancers for a cleaner, but we have never seen anybody cleaning the apartment. “Yes, because she comes when you, girls, are sleeping!” And apparently, she also forgets to clean, because everything it’s in the same place where we left. Including the mess.

So yes, it’s fun to live with 10-15 other girls in a small apartment. We’re used to seeing each other naked at work or in the changing room, nakedness doesn’t bother us at home either. It would be a dream of a man to live in the same place. But when it comes to cleaning, the poor guy should not expect anything extraordinary. Except he likes to be a slave. Otherwise, after 2 weeks, he would run home to his wife/mum/girlfriend to a clean, cosy home with delicious food made in a clean kitchen.

Happy 2014 to all!

I hope this year brings lots of new people, adventure and travel into my life, just like the previous one…

Someone asked me a good question and it made me think: what is my goal with writing this blog? I would just simply say to share experience, the good and bad side of this profession. Nothing else really. I don’t have journalist skills and as you can notice I don’t write on my mother language (I apologise ahead for all the grammar mistakes I make here) but I gained a big experience with men over the past 5 years. And some was really a jaw-dropping one.

I know men and women are different. The different way of thinking and different needs. And when I say I understand that, I really mean it. I’m not a nagging and yelling type of girl, and if my guy needs space, I give it to him. I’m not making problems over a few beers with colleagues after work or getting easily jealous. I understand the different problem-solving technics and I’m there for support but not asking every minute what’s wrong and try to talk about it. And I don’t even remember when I asked a guy “do you still love me?” I can say, the guy with me can feel he won the jackpot.

But I’m still single. I don’t know, maybe it’s just about luck, but I feel I always met the wrong type. Of course, I’ve read about all the expectations, that you will get what you give, follow your heart and the Universe helps you to achieve your desires and so on, but I’ve been in some very awkward situations lately. And the point I still can’t understand, why women are reading thousands of self-help books to make their relationships better, while men are more and more lazy to take their part in this. Some can be a real jerk even with a stripper (how do they behave with their girlfriends/wives then?) For example I had a customer the other day here in Luxembourg. He was nice, he usually spends some time in London so he asked me out when the next time we are both there. I thought why not, I give him a chance and I gave him my number… Then he said he go to the toilette, and he just disappeared. Without even saying Goodbye. It’s OK, I thought maybe he changed his mind or whatever. I forgot about the situation. But after a few days, he sent me a text! “Hello Lindsay, how have you been? This is Daniel. I’d love to take you out tonight for dinner and wine. Can you make it by 8 pm? Daniel :)” This time he was already in London, I was still in Luxembourg. And I wouldn’t have been surprised, but I told him I go back only in 2 weeks time. I’m wondering did he really heard what I was saying to him???? “I’m working tonight from 8 pm in the club” I hoped he realises I’m still in Luxembourg. I also told him, when I’m in London, I don’t work. “Hello 🙂 would you like we meet over drinks and we spend the evening together when you’re done from work tonight? I’m staying at the Four Season hotel in Park Lane. Where are you based in London?”That’s it. I started to be angry. Not about he suggested spending the night in a hotel with a total stranger (this kind of offers I get very often) but the lack of the minimum attention and respect to somebody he wants to spend a night with and obviously expecting an incredible amazing sex affair. “Man didn’t you understand that I’m still in Luxembourg til mid-January??????” That point I didn’t even want to be nice… “I was last Friday in Luxembourg. Btw, cannot you be more polite with manners when you type? You seem very aggressive not relaxed type!” I just started to laugh. I couldn’t believe my eyes… First I know that he was in Luxembourg as we met here last Friday. I remember very well as he sneaked out saying he’s going to the toilet. I can’t be that drunk to forget which city or country I am. And I’m the one who is not polite here???? And he feels he has the right judging my way of typing or behaviour? Pfff, please… He was wrong. I wasn’t aggressive but extremely shocked. After he said he’s going to the washroom and disappeared, he really thought that I want to meet up with him again? End of story. No more messages. But the whole situation made me think what’s wrong with men these days.

Gentlemen, even if you want nothing else but a quick sex with a girl from a bar (any bar, not necessary a strip club) do you listen to her at all? I don’t mean when she tells you the name of her sister’s dog, but basic information like how long she stays in the city? You need to know that if you plan to see her again. And in my opinion, when you arrange a dinner with someone, that’s a date. So when you want to date with that girl later, you don’t even care to impress her? I know this guy was a very bad example. Thank God, I’ve met the opposite type more often. But unfortunately, I have no doubts that he’s not the only one out there who urgently needs further educations about how to impress a woman. And I also have no doubts that there are girls that they don’t need more just to show them a few banknotes and they are ready to do anything to you, but I’m not talking about these cases and I’m definitely one of them.

Or another guy from yesterday. I just mentioned him I did 5 years belly dancing at back home.

“Oh ballet, great, I danced too!”

“No, I said belly dance..”

“Yes, ballet is good. Was there any famous ballet group in your city? Like Russian ballet?”

“Sweetie, I’m talking about Egyptian tribal belly dance!”

“Did you do jive as well?”

I decided it’s wiser to be quiet and just smile. End of the day he’s paying for my champagne. And I know the term ballet and belly sound similar and it’s easy to misunderstand with a loud music background, but I’m just wondering did he really hear when I corrected him? Twice?

I started to believe that we have some major communication problems here. Usually, women talk and men listen. But in some cases, men don’t listen at all! And they are surprised if we get upset and blame us for being short tempered. It’s really not a good point if you expect something later on from that woman. Just like the second guy, he asked if I would give him my mobile number and keep in touch. No, it doesn’t work in this way..!
So please Gentlemen, pay more attention to that pretty girl next to you at the bar that you want to date with, to your girlfriend and to your wife, and your life will be much smoother and you will hear less complain.

Merry Christmas in Luxembourg

I was not supposed to be here. My original plan was to work in Reykjavik, in Iceland, for the holiday season as I know Nordic people are crazy about Christmas parties. But one day before my flight, my agency called me that the club has troubles with license and it’s shut down by the police for the moment, but the owner still wants me to go there as they can get the licence back in any time. So I flew there and was waiting for 2 weeks for something to happen but the club was still closed… After 2 weeks I have left with disappointment and came here, to Luxembourg.

The first thing to make it clear, yes, there are agencies to cooperate between clubs and girls. Usually, clubs don’t like girls working without an agency. And personally, I prefer to work with agencies because if something happens they are there to help (like finding a new place in short notice if necessary) and it’s a safer way for the dancer because they already know the club and its conditions, less unexpected thing could happen.

And I still travel a lot. After Greece, I have worked almost every country in Europe, Canada, South Africa and China, and the list is not full yet. I’ve spent some amazing time working in other countries and I loved it. Somebody just told me that the travelling is my great addiction and I must agree.

It’s also true, these kinds of problems with police always could happen. Personally, I never need to be worried because I’m working as self-employed and I pay tax and insurance and I sign contracts with the clubs all the time. Police officers just do their job and checking up recently and of course, if they find something suspicious, they start to investigate. In this business, it’s normal that police close the clubs and reopen them.

Well, instead of Iceland, now I’m here in Luxembourg. It’s my first time when I work at Christmas. Usually, clubs closed for the holiday season, but ours was open even on the 25^th of December. Why did I decide to work during the holiday season? And I had a choice to stay home alone for Christmas and eating as much as I can and watching the Love Actually for hundred times or I can make some money. This time simply, the money won.

And I must say, I was curious what kind of people go to a strip club for Christmas. For me, Christmas is a family-together celebration but since I was a little girl, I wanted to know how other families spend this time. I know it’s business for me, but I feel a bit sad for those who have no family or they are far from them at that time of the year. But it seemed the people that showed up in the club don’t really care. We had a full house with party people (probably after spending a short time with their family) they just couldn’t wait to drink and put some dollars in bad girl’s panties and drink even more… And not much place open this time in the town. In one hand it was good for my business, but in other, I was so sad to see that even Christmas time people don’t want to celebrate with their families.

The Beginning Part2

Let’s start at the beginning. I still remember when my friends and I went to watch the Sex and the City 2. movie in Chelsea (you can guess how long ago I started this travelling stripper business) In the first 5 minutes I saw the trailer of the movie Eat, pray, love.. and I still can hear the sentence saying: “Let yourself to go!” That was a sign from the Universe I needed! That time I was working in a restaurant at Notting Hill and felt I’m the hamster in the wheel that just keeps turning and turning and the time just passing by. From the very first moment, I felt this movie was about me – whatever the end could be. I could easily imagine myself as Julia Roberts craving for freedom, finding the way out of daily problems and live the Life in its wholeness. I wanted to take a deep breath and to feel I’m still alive!

After a couple of weeks I got an email from an agency that they were looking for girls to work in Greece as a hostess/dancer. That’s it. The decision has been made. Even I knew later I’m gonna be labeled as a whore, I chose to walk on my own path without reference to anything or anybody.

I’ve never had the money to travel as much as I wanted and now I had the perfect offer to spend 3 months summer on the beach and earning money. I’m in!

I didn’t have a single thought that it can be a scam or it could end in a very bad way. I trusted my instincts. I called the woman from the agency and she correctly answered all my questions and ensured me they are waiting for me at the airport in Athens and they take me to Loutraki were the club was located.

So I quit my restaurant job, I bought my tickets, told everyone I go on a long holiday, I packed my suitcase and jumped in the middle of the adventure. That’s how everything started…

Still today I have no regrets. If I had a chance to change my life and start it again, probably I would do everything in the same way. It’s not only the easy money, not even the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen but all the life lessons I’ve learned during this profession. These experiences made me strong without losing myself. They opened my eyes but kept me cautious. I’ve learned how to handle my limits and how to push my boundaries further. But most importantly, I’ve learned a lot about myself.

The Beginning

“I’m a dancer.”
“What kind? Ballet? Latin?”
I sent her a kinky smile. There were no more questions.

Why did I start writing this blog? In my country we say if there is something you can’t tell anybody, let’s tell everybody. I don’t know how it works in real life, but definitely a good feeling to confess all my little sins here. So now I’m ready to share all the secret details about the life of a stripper. All stories here are my real experiences, I only changed the name of the characters. Continue reading “The Beginning”