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My advice to newbies

If you’re thinking about to quit your boring office job and making money dance around the world, here are some useful advice from me:

1. Choose the club or the agency that you want to work with very carefully. Collect as much info as you can before you start. If the club is close to your area, go there with friends before you would apply and look around. Is this the environment you really want to work in? You free to talk to the girls about their work, how they like the club etc. but don’t tell them you also want to work there. From that moment you would be a rival girl for some and they might lie to you or don’t give you the correct answer. About agencies, always ask other girls if they would recommend them or not. I have a few different agencies I work with, but also some very bad experience. If you go abroad, always ask for the address and the contact number of the manager or the guy who picks up at the airport/station. Make sure someone is waiting for you. It’s not much fun waiting on the street in the rain for someone to open the door of the apartment, because the agent is busy and doesn’t pick up the phone or answer to your messages.

2. If you are really an enthusiast, you can go to a dance class before you start the job. It’s great fun after all and you can hear useful info. Taking some pole dance lessons is giving you confidence when you are the first time on stage. Or it’s possible almost in every club to ask the other girls to show you some moves when there is no customer or before opening. But at first, never try to copy the other girls and never ever try any difficult tricks on the pole! It can be dangerous, especially if you have had a few drinks before. Dangerous, and more ridiculous than sexy. Just feel free and enjoy just like you would dance in a club with your friends and smile! Nothing more boring on stage as a beautiful woman doing amazing tricks on the pole with perfect body control without a single smile. Ah, and don’t look yourself in the mirrors! Do it when you practice, it’s a big help to correct your moves, but forget about it when you perform. Keep eye contact with the customers instead! They always like the new girls anyway because you are fresh and you don’t have the routine.

3. Don’t be so impressed by money after your first night. I mean if you had a good night to start, congratulations! But don’t run the next day to the shopping centre and spend it all. If you need to invest in some clothes or shoes, do it later. You never know how is going to be the next night or next week. This job is like ups and downs, so make sure you don’t run out of money.

4. Don’t tell all your friends and relatives that you intend to make money by dancing naked. People that never been involved in this kind of work, they don’t understand and you don’t even know yourself if you will like it or not. If it’s only a trial for you, better to keep it in secret. You don’t know how your friends would react and you don’t need some unkind comments. When you tell your friends, be ready you might lose some of them that cannot accept your new lifestyle.

5. Don’t invest in expensive dancer clothes and shoes. You always can buy them later and check the price before you purchase anything online because on another website you might find the same item at half price. Some shops where you can get dancer clothes are relatively expensive too. I would recommend to buy sexy corsets and stocking for the first time, rather than an extra mini neon colour dancer dress.

And just be yourself! Be witty, flirty, chatty, smart, bubbly, kind, optimistic and smiley! Follow the rules what the manager tells you and let the girls help you. Not every dancer has an evil spirit, most of the girls are very helpful because they know and understand what you’re going through. Their first day was the same than yours. They also had lots of questions, lots of self-doubts, lots of compromises. So take a deep breath and jump into this exciting life! The spotlights are waiting for you!

Good luck!

Boring, boring..!

Well, I must suggest that this is the most boring job I’ve ever had. I know that this is the time for football, beers and World Cup for lots of guys (I was no surprised when I read an article about the divorce rate increased 5% in China during these days) Our club is deadly empty. In every place can have 1 or 2 bad days, but nearly 2 weeks? And the World Cup hasn’t been finished yet.

And of course, when it’s less busy, women have more chance to talk about others. Thank God, I don’t speak French so I don’t get involved! But funny at the same time because I understand what they talk about, I just play the stupid that I don’t. So the manager complains about the girls that they don’t work hard enough, the barmaid complains about the manager that she wants her to do everything at the same time, the girls complain about customers that they don’t want to spend money and of course about each other that the apartment is dirty and so on. And me complaining about the whole club here. 🙂 No, it’s not really a truth, I can’t complain because nothing is happening there. It reminds me of when I was working in London during the Olympic Games. Everybody expected to be super busy, but clubs, restaurants, cafes in the centre were not busier than usual. The club I worked was also quiet but there we could use the Internet, read a book (I used that time to study) or sleep. Here it’s not like that. I’m sitting at the bar for hours with a straight back looking at the line of alcohol bottles. Sometimes I move to a different chair for a different view. I never understood why we can’t use our mobile to kill the time when it’s not a single customer there. But at the same time, I can’t say anything because I have a good daily salary so basically I’m making money doing nothing. Oh, and I almost forget! Since I’m here I haven’t performed on stage, not even once in 3 weeks!

And when it’s customers, they are easy. When they buy me a bottle of champagne in the VIP and they don’t speak English I suddenly have better skills than a pantomimic artist and they like it. Or sometimes they don’t want to talk to the girls at all, they only come to see the manager or the boss, but they buy a glass of drink one after another for us too. We just sit there and smile. Easy peasy, isn’t it?

But I must say I met some crazy guys here too. The one who took me for a private dance and only wanted me to sit on his face was the weirdest. I’ve heard about that fetish before but when you meet someone who literally likes it, it’s different. I only could think about what is wrong with this guy? The one who wanted to lick my armpit couldn’t be bothered me so. But what I found strange here, more customer asked me to slap him on the face or beat him up.. more than other countries. So they would be the gangster type guys with a little Italian blood that need a Mamma to punish them when they misbehave? They can not give me answers about why they like it, so I think I need to buy a book about this subject. No problem, I have lots of time to educate myself here!

Spirituality in travelling

I was thinking a lot about what are the advantages of travel. Besides I go to beautiful places, and it makes me a stronger, more experienced and more freedom loving person, it has other smaller but also an important advantage in my Life. Just, for example, my friends always tell me that I can pack my suitcase correctly. No unused place in it or no unnecessary stuff. And it’s true. And I’d like to believe that in other aspects of my Life I’m also that well organised.

During all these years of travels, I’ve learned how to live in a suitcase and use limited places and time. If something needs to fit in, it will. Even I have to leave other things behind. By that, I’ve learned the priority of things. The meaning of choice. It’s a very good spiritual practise indeed. How to get rid of stuff you don’t need any more – sometimes even people, – lighten up the luggage and the heart, not carry oversized or overweight packages.

I never carry things with me that I can buy in the shops where I go. It gives me flexibility. Do you know the kind of person who always buys the same brand of toothpaste? Well, this is not me. I’m not a prisoner of my habits. I can use any shampoo as long as it’s suitable for my hair type, contains fewer chemicals and not tested on animals. I can eat any food. And I can sleep anywhere. At the airport waiting for a flight connection, on a bus during a long drive, or on a not so comfortable small bed in a backpackers. I don’t need a king size bed and perfectly closed curtains to fall asleep. I’m not saying I don’t like comfort. I do love it! But I wasn’t born with the silver spoon in my mouth, and they say “Smooth seas don’t make excellent sailors.”

At work, I meet lots of different people. Kind or less kind to my heart. But when I finish my contract, and I have to leave the place, I take only good memories with me. The bad ones I try to leave behind. Anybody did anything terrible to me, I don’t want to carry the anger with me back home or to the next place. It took me a while to learn to let it go but makes my Life much more comfortable. I don’t stick to any personal things either. When I leave, I leave all those stuff behind that I don’t need anymore. I’m not going to carry a half-empty bottle of shower gel when I can buy it anywhere! Or clothes. They have no meanings for me. Of course, I pack fewer designer clothes with me, only those I take that I don’t mind to get rid of if it’s necessary to make more place for souvenirs in the bag.

And I’ve been in some challenging situations indeed. When I had to stay calm and not to panic, use my head, solve the problems as soon as possible and move on. And I was alone most of the time; I could only count on myself. Or I was lucky (and thankful) enough that somebody came into my Life in the very best moment to offer some help and I was happy to take it. I learned to trust and give credit sometimes to a total stranger. I learned to face problems and that in the end, somehow everything will be alright. I learned that all those difficult times are only challenges, and the show must go on. And it always does.

And I learned not to give up easily. Some places or people are worth to take a risk. And I learned to learn. I genuinely believe that every place I go can show me something new and I can learn something from all those people that suddenly come to my Life even at that very moment I don’t see what they are teaching me. But when I look back, I always find the answers to my questions. And I never forget being thankful for all.

So this is it. This is my spiritual practice during travelling that gives me wonderful experiences and on the way, I hope it helps to find the better me.

What is your favourite destination?

Let me share a story with you..

After reading it, if you previously though that all strippers are cheap and they are there only to show some skin, your opinion could be changed.

The location is in Cape Town. The club is huge with 3 levels and about 80 girls work together. But I remember this night was quiet. I mean we had customers, even an organised bachelor party but not a full house. In a dark corner that was a guy sitting alone and staring into his glass. I was looking at him for a while, and then he lifted up his head and our eyes met. He wasn’t a good looking one but it was something strange around him. I sent him a smile and I carried on the conversation with my friend. I had no intention to approach him.

After maybe 10-15 minutes he touched my shoulder. He was polite but this strange feeling didn’t want to disappear around him. And I would lie if I say I was absolutely comfortable in his presence. He asked me for a dance. That night I didn’t make good business so I said OK. In that club, the private dance is behind closed doors operated by a computer system. The time limit is very strict, if you stay a second longer, it will count you another dance, doesn’t matter if you do it or not, you have to pay the fee after both dances. I don’t remember exactly but something like the dance is 5 minutes and the girl has 1 minute to get dressed. If the door is not opened, she pays automatically for the fee of the second dance as well. (The customer pays the girl for the dance and then the girl pays the fee to the club.) Let’s say the room is 3×3 metres, and the button to open the door is a bit far from the sofa. So with that guy, I didn’t feel 100% safe when the door closed.

I started to dance against the wall, keep a bit distance before I get closer. But he asked me to stay there. It was really strange. I took off my clothes and he asked me to stay at the wall and not get close to him. “I don’t want to hurt you!” he said. “Just stay there and don’t move. I just want to look at your beautiful body.” I started to feel really weird. And then he said something and everything made sense. “I’m a soldier and I haven’t seen a woman for months. I’m afraid if you come close to me I can’t handle myself. I just want to see you.” After the second dance, he asked me to get dressed, just to sit next to him and he paid other 3 or 4 dances. We were talking. I mean he was talking and I was there to listen. He told me he just came back from the army and he couldn’t find a normal job. A way back to the normal life. That was some pretty heavy stuff in the air… “Same with a woman. Nobody wants to be with a guy who killed people!” This sentence really hit my chest. I had mixed feelings for him. I felt sorry for him but at the same time, I appreciated that he is telling me all of these. I can imagine how hard was saying out loud and share all those feelings with someone. I gave him the greatest support that I could, but I know he needed only someone to be there for him. He was literally a big, strong guy crying on my shoulder. That was one of the situations when no words needed.

After the dance, I stayed with him. He offered me a drink, but that was 30 minutes before closing and I didn’t want to drink alcohol. No commission on it anyway. But my head – and also my heart – was heavy. I was disappointed in our world not to give a second chance to someone who really wants to change. I understand him as being a stripper also not easy to find a normal job if I want to quit. But who decides what is normal?

We were talking about lighter stuff lately and the lights were switched on. The manager waved that we are finished. I said goodbye to him and wished good luck in his future. I left him. But before I entered the changing room, he came after me holding something in his hand. It was a leopard tooth that he was wearing on a necklace. He said that was the first animal he shot. “I have nothing else but I want to give you this to remember me..” And I do. I keep this necklace on my mirror so every time I look at it I remember him. As I remember the lesson I’ve learned. That sometimes how helpful not to give people advice, just to listen and let them speak. Or just holding a hand when the words don’t come easy.

So you still think we have an easy job? Sometimes in this life, we need to develop other skills than just dancing around the pole. Sometimes it’s required us to be more of a therapist than just naked women in the night. Although therapists can earn a better salary…

“Why geographical cures seldom work”

You made reference to “feeling trapped much like a hamster on the treadmill” I getting the impression my very dear friend is continuing her voyage on the thread mill, the difference being is that the thread mill is in different parts of the world ie my profession calls this “a geographical cure”

These words from one of my customer from Canada who became a good friend lately. He often visited me in the club and we were talking hours about psychological issues in relationships. He was a friend, a supervisor and tutor All in One. I studied psychology at the University, and I’m telling you this job is the best psychological work experience. (I specialised in working with special needs and sometimes I feel I’m in the best place to practice.)

The treadmill I meant is more complicated. The Life is a roller coaster. Ups and downs. We have to accept the rain and the sunshine. But so many people live in the fog. Their days are grey. They wake up in the morning, coffee, traffic, work, problems, traffic, home, dinner, family, more problems, bed, morning, coffee, work…. like robots. Until someone unplugs them. They read the book Power of Now, they discuss it, but they don’t change anything.

I have enough people around me that they are only complaining about their lives and even if they have every tool to change it, it’s easier to complain and wait for the miracle. They live in a fear of losing their jobs, financial insecurity and in the shadow of banks and credits. But they still want a bigger house, faster cars, and they able to queue days to get the new iPhone S64… Those people sooner or later will get a big punch from Life. I have a good example in my family how I don’t want to live my life. My dad always dreamed about travels and to see the sea. He was always dreaming about it but never done anything for that, even these days when you can go to Italy or Croatia on a low budget, he just finds excuses not to go. And it’s sad but probably he will die without fulfilling his dream.

My treadmill was in the restaurant. I woke up, get to work, then home and sleep. Next day I started again. Long working hours and no time for friends, no private life. But luckily I quickly realised it’s not what I want. So I quit. I had the power to change what I don’t like. And during travelling, I’ve been changed.

What do I gain from my travel?

Power and Self-confidence

Not physical power but mental power. I can hold myself and stand up for myself if it’s necessary. If I want something, I don’t wait for others to do it for me. I’m brave enough to do the first steps. I don’t have a rich family behind me (although my family is very supportive emotionally) so what I have, what I reached, I did it myself. I’m my own boss.

Patience and Empathy

I’ve heard so many times that I’m so quiet. Yes, because I watch and listen. That’s the way how I learn about the surroundings. And I’ve learned a lot. Now I know how to handle an arrogant (man), a drunk (man), a childish (man), a crying (MAN!), a man with money or a man with issues. And I’m learning not to judge them.

Communication skills

Actually, dancing wasn’t my first “night” job. I did hostessing in a London club where I worked only on commission. That was the way I learned English. I was always shy to speak up because I wasn’t sure and I wanted to speak correctly. So I pushed my boundaries and started that job saying if I don’t start to speak – doesn’t matter correct or not –, I will have no money to eat. I’m still alive! 🙂

And I learned how to communicate with different people from different background and/or culture.

..and lots of joyful moments!

This is my favourite! Cage diving with the Great White sharks and crocodiles, going on a safari, seeing the Niagara Falls, climb up the CN Tower and walk on the glass floor, swimming in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, Chinese Moon Festival, eating delicious local food and taste something different, palm trees and beautiful beaches, Octoberfest, bungy jumping.. and the list is not full!

I understand what my friend wanted to say with his words above. Maybe I’m a bit of adrenalin junky. And if this is my new treadmill, I will enjoy it! But I would rather call myself a free spirit and this treadmill simply Life. And for me, it definitely works!