Dealing with rejection

In our job, every stripper knows (indeed every sales person knows) that NO doesn’t mean to reject you, only the product or the service you offer. But in practice it’s difficult to deal with. 1 NO is okay, 2 NO is okay, 3-4 and you start to feel down, 5-6 or more and you end up sitting in the corner questioning yourself “What’s wrong with me?” or worst, crying in the toilette or in the changing room. Here in Paris, I’ve seen it a lot. Beautiful girls wondering “What’s wrong tonight? Nobody wants me..” I don’t want to repeat myself but French customers (or even foreigners) here can give a really hard time for the girls being ridiculously rude and ignorant.
It happened last night that I found one of the prettiest girl, who has a 100 carats smile on stage when she’s dancing, in a changing room crying. Because she felt useless in the club. Because she didn’t make money. (But it never about only the money.) I just went to her and gave her a hug. We are all far from our family, from our friends, the customers are assholes, the girls are bitches, all we need sometimes some emotional support that we are not alone. Fuck all the practical advice that “you have to leave your emotions at the front door when you come to work, you have to be like a robot etc.” We all know that. (Although I don’t want to be a robot, I would rather cry in the changing room but still happy that I have feelings.) She didn’t need to hear that again and again, her brain already knows that. She just needed a hug. (I hope, dear men you listen very well!!!) I hugged her. Because I know the feeling, I have been in the same situation not only once and I got a hug from another girl. I would just encourage the other dancers if they see a colleague crying, give her a few encouraging words and a big hug (and some tissues) It can make a huge difference! This girl after was smiling again and she could make her money. And she was telling me “Oh you are so nice!” Not because I’m nice. Because I do CARE!
This job is purely about luck. Sometimes I feel good, I feel sexy, smiling and still can’t make money. That’s it. It’s not my day. I had Friday nights in a full club where everyone made money, I was sitting on the sofa all night. Every single guy I tried to talk to, said NO to me. Some days like that. A few idiots came to me saying “you are the hottest girl in the room, why are you sitting here alone?”Because I want to be alone right now, when everyone else is drunk and I’m the only sober person in the whole club, you want me to entertain you? Why didn’t come to me at the beginning of the night when I was in the mood for drinking??? Now I need lots of alcohol in a short time to get to your level and we’re closing soon, so no, thank you. I’d rather sit here alone and watch how you guys get wasted and hilariously stupid. I swear, it’s better than a cinema!
It’s strange but I also noticed that in a few days before and during my period I don’t work well. I don’t know why. One idiot gave me the most logical answer: “maybe your pussy smells!” Hahaha. I thought I’d just gonna slap him. In the XXI. century with all those intim hygienical tissues, creams and shower gels it’s not a case. It’s more likely to be linked to my emotional level and my body gives out the signals. At this time I can’t take any rejection seriously. I’m prepared for that.
Another day I’m just lucky. It happened before that 2 am everyone was drunk and having fun and I didn’t make a penny. I already gave up on that night. I was sitting at the edge of the bar waiting to go home. Suddenly a guy arrived and he came straight to me. “Hello, I’m Pierre. Would you like some champagne?” Oh yes, please! Bring it to me! Without asking me he ordered an expensive bottle. He was absolutely nice, easy-going, chilled out guy and we had a great time. I had maybe 4 dances with him. Then he saw a girl that he knew for before so I invited that girl to our table. We had 1 or 2 more bottles of champagne and we ended up having 18 dances each! That was a good night for me although it didn’t seem to happen at the beginning.
And I have a book recommendation at the end: FUCK IT: The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John. C. Parkin. It’s a very good book about how to deal with situations in our life simply just say fuck it to the problems and let them go. It’s a must-read!
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Good bye Skegness!

Last week was raining. I thought this week won’t be different. But I’m happy for these days in this small room alone (in the one with the window!) because I can focus on more writing and I had time for some “emotional housecleaning”. This year I wanted to go to the pilgrim’s road to Santiago de Compostella but it requires some financial background what I don’t have this very right moment. Hopefully, my bank account balance will be more stable in the spring and I can rethink it. I have this feeling that I want to be a little isolated from people. I think it’s normal if you constantly work with people (drunk, stupid,  arrogant and loud people..) to be alone in your own world to recharge your batteries. Skegness is the best from that point.
I arrived back yesterday. Everything is the same, except the weather.  Hallelujah,  the sun is shining this weekend! But it seems these are the last sunny days of the year. Today I took a nice long walk on the beach but there were not so many people there. Well, even the coach I took from London was almost empty. Last weekend when I came it was not full, but definitely more people came here for the weekend than this week. The summer is over I guess.
Even the club was empty yesterday. On a Friday evening! I had a few dances but we closed earlier because it was no point to be open. But I still like the people here. So different than in any big cities,  they don’t have a business mind and they are so innocent. I had a customer last week, he doesn’t speak too much and he’s just sitting alone with his beer, but he asked me for a dance. When I got naked, I see sparks in his eyes like a little boy when he’s unwrapping his present under the Christmas tree. Bless him! I enjoyed the dance too, I felt special and appreciated. I wish every dance would be the same. He came back this weekend and he just constantly repeated me how beautiful,  delightful,  special I am. That’s a real ego-boost for me!
Even the women are nice that come to the club. I met 2 girls in their forties and in the first 5 minutes of the conversation they honestly told me that they were prostitutes and “we are in the same boat.” I had a good talk with them, I didn’t feel any competition and bitchiness than usually. You know, there are lots of things I can’t share with my girlfriends outside from the club business. Even they know a lot about my work they can not fully understand the situations. With these girls, we wear the same social stigmas and we can talk honestly about our experiences.
I will miss these kinds of people as these are my last days here. From next week I will jump again in the middle of the mind games as I go back to Switzerland on Monday. Let’s get back to the hardcore business!
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The list of the clubs I’ve worked at

Another day I was thinking about the number of clubs I’ve worked. Here is the whole list:

Blue Angel, London, UK
Director’s Lodge, London, UK
Sexyland (Babel), Loutraki, Greece
Dorsia, Antwerp, Belgium
Charlie’s, London, UK
Churchills, London, UK
Goddess, Nice, France
St. Louise, Brussels, Belgium
Empire, Brussels, Belgium
Paradise, Remich, Luxembourg
Fairbanks, Toronto, Canada
Mavericks, Cape Town, South Africa
Z1, Sylt, Germany
Beverly, Vienna, Austria
Gaslight, London, UK
Valentino, Koblach, Austria
Evita, Wil, Switzerland
Six Days, St. Gallen, Switzerland,
Sensi, Geneva, Switzerland
Messalina, Stuttgart, Germany
Divino, Macau, China
Saumur Crystal Club, Luxembourg
L’extase, Guadeloupe, French Caribbean
Paradise, Yokohama, Japan
La Cave Bastiaise, Corse, France
VIP, Reykjavik, Iceland
Flirtz, Skegness, UK
Pink Paradise, Paris, France
Le Chat Noir, Pescara, Italy
Atlantic, Osnabruck, Germany
Lotus Showbar, Oslo, Norway
City Club, Brussels, Belgium
Abilux, Antwerp, Belgium
Crystal, Aarhus, Denmark
Club Glamour, Lloret de Mar, Costa Brava, Spain
Crystal club (Stage 2000) Nuremberg, Germany
Conchili, Ludwigsburg, Germany
Teatro, Wetzikon, Switzerland
Red lips, Zurich, Switzerland
Cleopatra, Stuttgart, Germany
TOP5, Singapore
Stripclub Dolls, Zaventem, Belgium
Charlie’s Angels, Brussels, Belgium
Crystal Show Club, Helsinki, Finnland
Booty Club, Trier, Germany
4Play Lounge, Budapest, Hungary
Casanova Bar, Saarlouis, Germany
Bar Babalou, Konstanz, Germany

 

If you have ever been to any of them, I would be happy to hear your stories!

 

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After a couple of weeks I got an email from an agency that they were looking for girls to work in Greece as a hostess/dancer. That’s it. The decision has been made. Even I knew later I’m gonna be labeled as a whore, I chose to walk on my own path without reference to anything or anybody.
I’ve never had the money to travel as much as I wanted and now I had the perfect offer to spend 3 months summer on the beach and earning money. I’m in!
I didn’t have a single thought that it can be a scam or it could end in a very bad way. I trusted my instincts. I called the woman from the agency and she correctly answered all my questions and ensured me they are waiting for me at the airport in Athens and they take me to Loutraki were the club was located.
So I quit my restaurant job, I bought my tickets, told everyone I go on a long holiday, I packed my suitcase and jumped in the middle of the adventure. That’s how everything started…
Still today I have no regrets. If I had a chance to change my life and start it again, probably I would do everything in the same way. It’s not only the easy money, not even the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen but all the life lessons I’ve learned during this profession. These experiences made me strong without losing myself. They opened my eyes but kept me cautious. I’ve learned how to handle my limits and how to push my boundaries further. But most importantly, I’ve learned a lot about myself.
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