bitch Archives - Page 2 of 2 - HeartBrokenStilettos

Bon jour, Geneve!

Here’s I am again. I must say during a year period I was working in other places, here nothing changed. Every night the same faces. Some I truly missed. Good to see these people again and carry on the same conversion that we had a year ago. Like I had a young customer that we talked a lot about the Caribbean and Japan because he visited those places several times. And since we haven’t met I got to both places and now have lots of stories to share with him. That’s a shame I didn’t have his contact to send him a message that “Greetings from Japan!” But now I’m so happy to see and talk to him again.

I think I worked in this club on and off 5 months. Enough time to make friends and enemies. I have some good stories from this place although I didn’t enjoy every minute of working here. This is the only one place in Geneva that is not a cabaret. Cabarets are hundreds of them here, also private apartments. The prostitution is blooming here. Just on the next street behind the hotel where I stay, there are girls on the streets daytime wearing shorter skirts than I wear at work as a dancer. And some can give me a dirty look when I pass them, thinking I am a concurrency. I would not say I feel comfortable, but I try to ignore them. I’m not looking for trouble from my nature. Inside the club is a different story. This is the only one strip club in Geneva where sex is prohibited. Or at least this is what they say. Last year in my last month I got upset when almost every second guy asked me about special massage in the VIP. “Man, if you want a special massage, go to any cabaret and you can have anything you wish for!” But then I had to realise that some girls advertising this place for this kind of service and they obviously not only dance in the VIP. There were 2 girls that they took guys to their apartment provided by the club to make some extra money. How lovely is that? Forget about other dancers you share the apartment with. I never understand these girls why don’t go to work at any private apartment, they could make way more money than working in a strip club. Ok, here is less concurrency because not every girl offering the same service but still. As I heard both had trouble with the boss and they got fired after I left.

This time no different. Girls can leave with customers if the guy pays enough for the club. Other girls let finger themselves during the private dance which would be okay for me if the booths are not open. Everyone makes the money in the way she wants, but it’s disturbing when my customer sees what’s going on in the next booth and obviously he expects the same from me. Those girls have no respect for others. Or the one yesterday, basically she gave a guy a lapdance at the seating area, kissing and dry humping on him for free. I must say those customers are right when they complain about the quality of the girls here because they are getting more aggressive, more dirty, cheaper. Before I was working here with nice girls who know the business but this time very low class. And it’s a bigger problem when customers make the same comments.

Oh well, I just came back for 3 weeks and I was prepared for that. No big surprise. And as I said I met lovely guys here, I concentrate on them and don’t let those girls disturb me. There are sometimes when I don’t even want to talk to any of them and I don’t give an s*** what they think about me. As far as I see they compete with each other who can make more money and I never been interested in this kind of competition. I know how much I make and I know in what way, I never care about the other girls’ wallets. Like yesterday I didn’t make a penny but I quite enjoyed looking the others get wasted on champagne and making a show for everyone in the club. It was a weird night anyway, I even made a joke with the barman that it seems everyone is high on coke. Well, you might never know for sure.

In the Land of the Vikings 2.

Well, my stay in Iceland gets to the end. Somehow I’m always sad when I’m leaving this country. I’ve never felt so close to Mother Nature like here. But one eye is crying and the other one is happy.

Here was a good experience of worship. Unbelievable for me that some girls can make any nice club a nightmare. When I arrived, some girls were waiting for customers at the top of the stairs. When they came up, they were ready to jump on them. Like piranhas! My jaw was dropped. I knew in some club girls like that but I never wanted to work there. One of the reasons why I don’t want to work any club in London (girls work in the same style because they pay for the club to work there and they want to make sure they make money). The first week I was just sitting and watching the show. And I was just smiling when the one who jumps first on the customer started to complain about how the other girls catch the guys before her! Drama, drama…

I never worked in such an aggressive style! (Never needed.) Even some girls had customers but when a new guy arrived they were ready.. steady.. go! In other clubs, the system is girls have to wait until the guy gets his drink at least. It’s a much more polite way. I always let the guy relax before I go over. I wait until he takes a seat and orders his drink. If I have eye contact with him and he smiles back, I’m 100% sure about my success. So for me, this “jumping” style never works. I was surprised. I even made a joke with my boss that if I want to catch a customer I really need to go outside of the club to anticipate other girls?

2 more girls arrived. These 2 are an updated version of the others. They are waiting for customers in the bar downstairs (the club is 2ndfloor, but the same owner and we are allowed to go there for coffee and stay there a little while) They are talking to guys and try to bring them upstairs. But for me, the “Hello babe, do you want to come upstairs with me and have some private time?” sounds very low class to me. Not to mention that sometimes guys didn’t even realise that upstairs is a champagne club. And the girls can’t be upset when the guy ask straight away about sex. By the way, in Iceland, it has a funny way thanks to the feminists. Law always protects the woman. I as a woman can sell sex. It’s legal. To buy it for guys it’s illegal and they can have problems. And tourists don’t know much about.

This week 2 more girls came. The competition didn’t get any better. Actually now some girls are literally waiting for customers outside the front door and it just happened last weekend that some went for promotion drunk and wearing only a bra top on the streets. (Now probably I need to go till the airport if I want some customers for myself..) 🙂 Definitely low class. I’m not saying it’s wrong. I’m just saying in the club where a bottle of Crystal is 3000 euros(!) this behaviour is cheap. And as I said before we work with our own personalities. My persona is more of a foxy lady, calm and classy and I can not (I can but don’t want) be vulgar just because the others are. If this behaviour is not acceptable to me, I’m not going to put another mask on and start to be more aggressive. For a guy? For a customer? (I always say there will be only one man in this World that I would fight for: my son if I have one.)

Oh dear, so many other clubs on this planet…!

Bitches vs. Doormats

If you want to call me a bitch you’re allowed to. If you think I’m strong, I don’t let a man think he has a hold on me if you think I can stand up for myself and I don’t chase a man, you’re right. In that case, if every strong woman is a bitch, you can call me one. Because I know what I want, I do not compromise and I’m still very feminine on the surface. And being called a bitch is still better than being called a doormat.

I have a very good example of the latter. Some girls are incredible desperate having a relationship and they even try to convince themselves that their relationships work and it’s good for them. The fears come from different backgrounds, not having enough self-esteem, they need control from the outside, they think someone can make them happy rather than make themselves happy, etc. Most women are starving to receive something from a man that they need to give to themselves. And they give too much in their relationships. I mean way TOO much! A friend of mine once has been called out for dinner at 11 pm! In the rain. And she happily put some make-up and shoes on and left the house. There is no guy in the entire Universe that can call me out after 8 pm for a date! Where is the self-respect here?

I don’t want to analyse the whole thing from the guy’s side and I don’t want to judge him either. But at some point, I’d like to hear his opinion. My problem is my friend. To see her in a relationship waiting. Waiting for his phone calls, waiting to see him, waiting that the guy wants to settle down, waiting when he decides to move in together, waiting, just waiting. That’s the worst thing that a woman can do in her early thirties. Waiting and wasting her best years because she’s living in a dream. She sees what she wants to see. As they say: The eyes are useless when the mind is blind. And she loves to give advice to others about their dates or relationships what really started to piss me off lately. I don’t know how long I’m able to shut my mouth.

In my opinion, men are hunters. They are more turned on by a powerful woman because it’s a trill to them to take her down. A high-calibre guy wants a self-respecting woman who has an appetite for her own Life and won’t let someone walk all over her. That’s why even my friend calls me a bitch. Not to face to face, of course! For example, she never understood how I’m able to accept gifts from my dates. Because I simply deserve it! (And she doesn’t even know that that was kinda training for me to accept any presents or help from a man who is not my partner. Sometimes my pride was bigger than the desire to have that gift.) She calls me a bitch because in her opinion it’s not possible if I don’t treat them right sexually. She doesn’t know how to accept something, only to give. She never learnt to keep the balance between giving and accepting. That you shouldn’t give more than you get back in return. She never understood these things but she easily judges others. She has a normal life, a normal job. She never worked in the night. She knew when I worked in London as a hostess, living together was not easy to lie about it and I didn’t even want. She knows that I’m doing the same in different countries now, I never mentioned her when I started to dance. I didn’t see the point. But with all these travels, all the new experiences, with new people around me, she sees that I’m happy and easily succeed in my goal.

She is a nice girl. TOO nice! But in a relationship, she’s not able to stand up for herself and for her own needs. And“when a nice girl needs a man too much and puts him on a pedestal, she treats him with a view of himself that even he doesn’t hold. And it makes him uncomfortable because he knows (better than anyone) that he ain’t no a white knight.” (Sherry Argov: Why Men Love Bitches)

I don’t know what is going to happen next. Probably they will struggle together for more years and make each other unhappy. Both have no strength to quit. But this is an unhealthy situation. I just hope soon they will be able to solve it in one way or another. But meanwhile, I’m happy bitching around.

Hello bello, Sun is yellow!

Here we are under the sun, the sky is blue, the sea is clear and 30 degrees every day! Sometimes heavy rain, but after 15 minutes the sky is clear again. We really have no reason to complain about our life here! The only problem I have, because it’s very humid, we have lots of mosquitoes and they want to eat me alive! The “jungle formula” that I brought with me and it should give me protection from them and other insect bites up to 10 hours, doesn’t help at all. The apartment is not the most modern and the cleanest I’ve ever seen, but here you don’t want to spend your time sitting at home so no needs of luxury big flat screen TV on the wall.

The funny thing that since we are here, other people try to scare the hell out of us saying “Be careful, it’s dangerous!” First, we heard that we shouldn’t go to Saint Felix to the beach, which is only 10 minutes walk from the house, because local people are living in the bush and they disturb the girls there. Well, we were there yesterday, I haven’t seen a single man who looked dangerous to us. But families with small kids and other white girls sunbathing topless, yes! Those locals are even saying a “Bon Jour” or “Ça va” to us when we walk. OK, sometimes men whistle from the car or they try to communicate, but that’s all! I don’t think we should put on them the DANGEROUS label only because they are men.. We are smart enough not to look for trouble. We won’t walk this area after dark, we won’t hitchhiking and sit into stranger’s car or behave as we are dancers (meaning wearing extremely short skirts or talk loud and get all the attention) on the streets.

The next “very” dangerous thing here is the local woman. They are jealous of blondies and jealousy can kill. Yesterday my friend put a flower into her hair and the next 2 minutes a car stopped next to us. A dark-skinned woman got off the car and she started to talk to us in French. We didn’t understand well, but she tried to explain that the flower is poisonous and she shouldn’t touch her mouth with her fingers or even better if she can wash her hands. Yeah, that woman was very dangerous! Or the way back from the supermarket with heavy bags, we took the bus. Another dark-skinned woman in the door took my bag and lift it up helping me to get on the vehicle. She was also the type of person I need to be careful with. I’m not making fun about it here, but my rules are very simple. Live and let to live. If you treat people with great respect, they have no reason to hurt you.

The next on the list is a venomous grey worm. I don’t know the name of it, but I just heard from a girl in the house that we shouldn’t leave the windows open because it comes from the trees. I personally prefer the open windows than the aircon in the room as I get sick all the time. And look the cleanliness of the house, this aircon with a dirty filter can be more harmful to my health than have a chance to see this worm in the room.

The only real danger here will be our dear colleagues. I don’t want to be against any nationality here, but I have difficulties working with French girls. At least with these here. They are the second on my anti-popularity list. Even my French friend said the girls here are nuts (maybe too much sun!) On the top of my list, I give the first place to the Romanian girls. They can be very nasty if they don’t like you. I remember when I started and I was so naïve, one of them pushed me down from the stage because I smiled at her customer.. when I’m supposed to smile for everybody. I learned fast the way how they can behave. On the third place are the Russian speaker girls (Ukraine, Latvia, Litvania, etc.) but at least they are not aggressive with me. Of course, that was some fights between us, but nothing serious. They just expect me to speak Russian, and it’s pretty annoying when somebody after 3 weeks works together still doesn’t get that I don’t understand her and she keeps talking to me in Russian.

But here, since we arrived we experienced fights every day. Between the French girls, because I don’t get into this. If any of them said something to me, I just smiled. I can not be bothered to get into fights, I don’t waste my time and energy. But the way they live is unbelievable. They don’t have respect for others at all. Not at home and not at work. The cleaning will be a problem here too. We have the bathroom in our room, and the 2 girls from the same floor use this bathroom as well. But when I do the cleaning, one of them just come to take a shower and she leaves a Lake Ontario in the middle of the room. The other one is even worse, she just puts the tampon into the toilet and she forgets to flush. YUCK! What kind of place did they grow up? At work, there is a drama class. Crying over a bottle that she needs to share with her colleague, fight with the hot hair curler and burn the other girl’s skin, too many drinks and I guess also drugs. They behave like kids. Very loud kids. My friend and I are extremely unique here, not only the hair colour but the whole personality and the reasonable behaviour. Luckily…