How I met my yakuza friend

Someone asked me what was the most unexpected thing for me during my stay in Japan. Well, I never thought I became a friend of a yakuza. We all hear the stories about them but get close to them is a different story. Even Japan is more and more open, their world is still closed from Westerners.
But let’s start at the beginning. I was in Japan a year ago, in Yokohama. (There are other posts about the work there, here I don’t want to repeat myself.) He arrived at the club as a normal looking customer with a friend of his. He requested me and I didn’t suspect anything besides he was a tough looking guy. We were chatting, joking and I was impressed because he spoke quite good English and we could hold an interesting conversation about Japanese culture, not the usual “Kiss me!” or “What colour is your panties?” We were talking about samurais and the old days of Japan.
On his shirt, it was the top button open and I spotted the tattoo on his chest. That moment I knew he’s a yakuza. Of course, little curious me, I asked him to show it! He showed me the photos of his fully tattooed back and sleeves on his phone, actually, he didn’t even try to hide his identity. Doesn’t it exciting to hear all those stories and now I’m sitting with someone who holds the key to that secret world? As he told me, he doesn’t give as*** about foreigners’ opinion, but of course, he’s not that open amongst Japanese people. I didn’t want to interview him but I had lots of questions in my head. But after that night we didn’t see each other soon.
I almost forget about him as the Sakura arrived at Yokohama and I was keen to arrange a photo shooting with the cherry blossoms. It’s a very exciting time in Japan, everyone goes to the parks watching the flowers. I was lucky to find a talented young photographer and we went to a park one afternoon to take the photos. We finished quite late and I asked him to escort me back to the club because I was still not familiar with the place and I didn’t want to get lost and be late for work. It was everything fine, I arrived on time and I was still buzzing because I was sure the photos we took are excellent. But as it was expected, later my friend who was also my promoter in the club asked me:
“Mama-san asks if you have a boyfriend!”
“Boyfriend?”
“Because one of your customers saw you with a guy afternoon. He called the manager (who was on her holiday in Thailand), she called Mama-san and Mama-san asked me and now I’m asking you who was that guy?”
Photo by Hugo Poveda
Yeah, a guy with a suitcase, a camera and a huge tripod! I told her he’s a photographer and we had a photo shoot. Of course, I got a lesson that I shouldn’t meet with young handsome Latino guys because my old Japanese customers don’t want to request me after. But I had no idea who could have been the customer who saw me, or to be totally honest, I didn’t care that much. (I think they knew but didn’t want to tell.) Later on that night my yakuza friend came to the club and requested me. I immediately knew it was him. Such a coincidence, I haven’t seen him maybe 2 weeks and all of a sudden he shows interest in me! Ah, some men are so simple! I told him the story about the photographer and a crazy customer who disturbed my manager on her holiday with such stupid questions and I pretended to be upset about it. Until today he’s saying it was not him but his friend 🙂 Whatsoever, I was laughing on it.
After work, he and his friend invited us for breakfast. We went to a traditional Japanese place where you must sit on the floor. I was wearing a dress so I didn’t really feel good about it. He noticed and took off his jacket, and covered my legs with it.
“Now you can sit comfortably!”
During breakfast, I was secretly watching him. He’s a yakuza but he behaves like a perfect gentleman! I was impressed. Another day after work he took me to a park. We were sitting under hundreds of cherry trees (the whole scene felt like we’re sitting in a huge cloud of pink flowers) and he talked about what the cherry blossoms mean to the samurai spirit. It was so dreamy and I felt safe with him. I started to see him after on a regular base and I spent my days at his place. Obviously, at work they didn’t like it, long story short, they asked me to choose between him and my job. At work I was already stressed so without hesitating I told them:
“Ok, no problem, I book my ticket home.”
Not because I was in love or I planned my future life with a yakuza (Well, I must think twice if I want to be with a guy who keeps a gun in his wardrobe..) but more about the principal they pushed me to the wall to decide. But I didn’t regret my choice. After he offered me that I can stay in his place, so I stayed 2 more weeks in Japan and we visited several places around Yokohama. I think I’ve seen all the shrines of Kamakura, and trust me, there are a few there! (We were together 24/7 and two strong but different characters under the same roof, of course, it led us to some fight. I told him it’s like I got a ticket to an emotional roller coaster with him and it never stops. But about that, I will write later.)
But most importantly we understood each other perfectly. I felt we’re both on the periphery of the community, he’s a yakuza, I’m a stripper, we’re wearing the same kind of social stigmas. Until today we talk a lot on the phone. And every time I complain about my current job or the girls I work with, he always offers his gun sent by DLR to me! 🙂
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Goodbye 2014

After some issues with my flight – 4 hours delay and because of that I missed the last bus so I had to spend the night at the airport again and take the first bus next day – finally, I’ve arrived in Pescara, Italy. Sleeping at airports seems became my habit this year though. The landing was also awful, the wing almost touched the ground before the plane. I can say the worst landing in my life when you believe in God or not, but start to pray suddenly. But I don’t complain as I’ve safely arrived in one piece.
I just started to work, I don’t want to say anything about the job yet. I don’t make my conclusion after 1-day work, all I can say now I’m lucky enough to share the room with a nice girl I’ve met before in Corsica so I don’t feel lonely. She just asked me yesterday: “Have you ever thought that once you will celebrate the New Year’s Eve with me?” Of course not!

I must say I’m happy to say Goodbye to this year as it was not a lucky one for me. It wasn’t fruitful, all my success was about this blog. I was disappointed in friends (even close ones) but the same time I’ve found new ones. My dates were not lucky at all, but I learned a lot about men. I was also not lucky with travel (cancelled flights, sleeping at airports, going to a wrong airport – the latest I still can’t understand how I could manage) but my biggest dream to go to Japan came true in this year. Financially I used all my saving by the end of the year because the almost 2 months break I took, but I realised I have people around me I can count in crisis. So this year I got hot and cold, almost like in a love and hate relationship. But these kinds of relationships always come with lots of stress and I usually quit as soon as I can from them, same reason I’m happy to this year came to the end.

And I made the same New Year Resolution as I do in every year. I promised myself that in the new year I will try to do something new. It can be to visit a place where I’ve never been before, tasting food that I’ve never tried or it can be just to see something in a totally different way than I did before. And when I look back at the end of the year, I always realise that it was more than one new thing, actually, it’s always a big bunch of new things each year to be grateful for. I’m still busy counting them.

So now a new day, a new year and a fresh start. I’m ready to take new adventures and accept the challenges that 2015 will bring in my way.
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I still remember that was my last day in Iceland and I was so disappointed that the club couldn’t have been open. I was waiting and waiting but they didn’t get the licence back so I decided to leave. I’ve had a chance to see a bit of Iceland’s natural beauty so I didn’t see the point stay any longer. Basically, I was just wasting my time while I could arrange another contract somewhere else. The period before Christmas can be good when the companies pay the bonuses and after Christmas party, some guys go to a strip club for the afterparty, I definitely wanted to work not like this year when I’m a bit lazier. Very soon I booked myself in Luxembourg and I worked there during the holiday season. But before I left for Luxembourg, I started to write this blog.
So that night in Iceland. I was alone in a hotel room. I had a morning flight, the guy who took me to the airport picked me up early. I don’t know because of the next day travel or because of all the problems that were circulating in my head, I had a very restless sleep. I was just twisting, turning in the bed, switch on the lights, tried to read, but when my eyes got tired to switch it off but couldn’t fall asleep. Finally, I had a short but very deep sleep. I got up before my alarm clock on the phone started to beeping. And the first thing it came to my mind that I NEED TO WRITE A BOOK! It came suddenly out of nowhere. I don’t even remember if I was dreaming something about it. Then I went to the bathroom and the first word I saw it was PHOENIX (that was the brand name of the hairdryer) But this symbol has a very strong meaning in my Life. That’s why I have a small phoenix tattoo on my lower back. Actually, when I went to the tattoo salon, I had no idea what I wanted but I was sure I get a tattoo. That I don’t leave the salon without being inked. I was checking the book of drawings when this symbol found me. When I saw it, I told the guy immediately I want this one and that’s it. That was also a difficult time in my Life. But since then the symbol of the phoenix always reminds me of rebirth, that whatever goes bad in my Life, I have the power to start again from zero as I did so many times. I don’t know if you believe in these signs or not. I do. So after a few days of Internet research about how to write a blog, I had everything ready. I thought it’s a good field to test my writing skills before I would jump into the deep sea of publishing. I didn’t even think about the name, it just came to my mind without effort just like the whole idea of writing. As I explained it’s HEARTBROKEN because underneath the shiny, glittery surface I’m just a weak woman who needs to be cherished and BROKENSTILETTOS because God knows during this work how many pairs of shoes I destroyed. Against the critics that put the focus on being heartbroken, I like it and I have no intention to change it.
And a few days later I was ready with the first post. That’s how everything started here on my own little telling-all-my-secrets blog. And today, after a year I have many visitors and people from all around the world who support me with kind words. I was not expecting that. But messages like these caress and uplift my soul:
“It’s honest, mature and above all else, ‘REAL’. Very refreshing”
“Had a quick look at your blog…really well written and a very interesting window into an unfamiliar world. It’s really compelling. It’s easy to make assumptions based on peoples professions and it’s great fun to surprise people.”
“I travel a lot and have been known to find myself in strip clubs from time to time but reading about it from the other side is enlightening! I hope I have never behaved like some that you mention!”
“The more I read the more intrigued I am!”
“I particularly was drawn by your honesty and intelligence and that you come across as so totally genuine.”
I never ever met these guys in person. They never see me dance or they were never flirting with me in a club. But they like what I represent here: a genuine, honest, free-spirited woman. Might my plans for the book will fail – I will do everything not to – but for the appreciation, I get throughout the blog, it’s already worth to write. Thank you ALL!
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Thank you for reading!

I feel this is a good time to say thank you to all reading my blog. When I started almost a year ago, I never thought it will attract so many people and I will get so many emails and questions. I’m honoured. (OK, I don’t mention the guy who emailed me because he wanted to buy my panties. LOL) I’m not the best to keep in contact and I have limited time to answer, but I try my best to answer to everyone.
I must say since I came back to London, I had to realise I have not many friends here. I travelled a lot, I have friends all over the world, but I spent very little time here in London in the last 4 years and my friendships became stale. The clubs I used to work here are sold, and the girls I worked with moved to other city or back to their home country. The people from the restaurant never knew where I went after I quit from there. Everyone knows I went to Greece on holiday and maybe the best way just to let them think so. Not everyone needs to know I became a stripper. And since I started to write and talk about my purpose to write a book, I experience some envy. Oh, a woman cannot digest if some other fellas have more ambition! And I don’t want people in my social circle that turn as the wind blows. I’m trying to be honest and I don’t want hypocritical so-called friends around me. I think it’s time for some radical changes and just cut people off. I just read it somewhere “cutting the negative people out of your life doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.” Maybe I should respect myself a little more and enjoy meeting up with new friends.
So this time all those support and encouraging words I got from you, really means a lot to me. I trust myself but even a stripper can have bad days and needs some supporting people around her. Be honest I felt tired and a little burned out in the last months, that’s why I decided to stay away from clubs for a while. Not to mention the alcohol that my system needs to get rid of and do some serious detox before we enter the holiday season. And I can start the New Year fresh and ready for more stripper experience.
So all I can say is a big Thank You for reading! And all I can promise is to keep up writing and sharing my life stories with you.
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Happy Halloween! Boo hoo!

Hm, I think this year I will skip all these Halloween madness as I go back from Paris to London earlier as I planned. Just in case I brought my sexy nurse costume with me to dress up but I don’t feel the need for a crazy Halloween party. I have had it enough. When I was working in London it was always a big deal, we were talking about costumes and make-ups and decoration even a month before. I’m sure for clubs it’s a very good business every year because everyone likes to dress up and being abnormal for a night.
We don’t celebrate Halloween in my country. We have All Saint’s Day on the 1st of November according to the Catholic tradition. It’s a “fundamental belief that there is a prayerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and the living” this day so we remember our beloved ones who died and we go to the cemeteries to lit a candle for their soul. If you cross the country by night and you pass a cemetery this time, it’s beautiful with all those hundreds of little lights in the dark. And I have someone to remember: my grandma passed away this year while I was in Japan and I felt pretty bad that I couldn’t come back for the funeral. So at least this day I want to show my respect to her. If I would have a chance I go to the Sacre Coeur but I try to find a quiet corner and lit the candle. This year for me the Halloween definitely not about scary masks and fake blood all over.
Last year I had an awful Halloween party at work. I was in Macau at that time. They made it nice with Bloody Mary welcome drinks and costume competition; some girls had an amazing look! Me, I’ve done the hardcore party at work on the previous night. I was drinking champagne from the bottle, it was great fun and I got so so drunk! Unbelievable how much Chinese can drink and how much they enjoy to make the girls drunk! But on the 31st I was not able to get out the bed. I made a joke that for Halloween I’m going to be a zombie, I don’t even need make-up! I was creepy enough when I looked in the mirror.
I called the manager to ask him to stay at home but he said: “Come on, Lindsay, it’s Halloween party, I need all the girls on the floor!” Great. I have no idea how but I collected all my energy and I made it work. Well, not the perfectly done Sugar Skull make-up that I planned to pain on my face. On my way at work, I popped into a shop and I bought some green and orange T-shirts, cut them in pieces, I draw a face on the orange one and I was the Jack(queline) O’ Lantern. That was all my availability and creativity for that night. But I really wasn’t well. I had to ask the DJ to call another girl on stage and I run to the toilette. I was so sick. It was not the most memorable Halloween party in my life for sure!
But all can be very special with good decoration and little ideas that bring more customers to celebrate the Halloween in a strip club rather than just in a normal nightclub. All those sexy devils and nurses are waiting for you tonight! So don’t be scared! Maybe some horny vampire would suck your…. uhumm… blood! 🙂
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