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Is there Life after stripping?

Well, I really hope so as I’m not planning to shake my tities in my fifties. I’ve already heard a few comments like “you are too old for this”. But who decides when a stripper must quit from this lifestyle? It depends on her and only on her. I’ve seen older women – I mean much older than me – still beautiful, smiling and entertaining all night. And they still enjoy! That’s her whole life! One of my boss and owner of a strip club told me these girls need attention constantly. It’s their drugs. Without the stage, the spotlights and being in a centre of attention they are lost. I agree with him although I never had this addiction. As I spend more time in this industry, I enjoy less being on the stage and more intelligent conversations with different people.

I also heard from customers that at that age I should concentrate on my carrier in a normal day job and cooking Sunday roast to my husband and kids. This is only a stereotype. Actually, I’m very happy that I don’t have kids. For me travelling the world and teasing men it’s not expectable if you have a baby at home. I’ve seen lots of girls crying because they are away from their babies. In South Africa, I worked with a Brazilian girl who was still breastfeeding, and the baby was in Brazil. For me, this is a big NO! And I always answer to these guys, I don’t want a baby. They look at me surprisingly. But it’s true. I don’t want only a baby. I want a family. The whole package. Husband, kids, home, garden, a dog, a cat and a goldfish. I know you smile, but I still won’t be happy as a single mum with a crying baby doing night shifts.

Lots of girls are waiting for their Prince Charming to ride up in his white BMW, rescue them from the club and ensure them a secure lifestyle. (Mine got lost somewhere on his way!) They want to be taken away from this job and working for a living. They want to live in a big house with a housekeeper and a driver. But we know from fairy tales that sooner or later there will be a witch or the mean stepmother (a new lover or the ex-wife). Some of my friends found true love during working in nightclubs and I’m happy for them. They settled down in foreign countries, getting engaged or having babies. Most of all, they are happy. Ah, I know where is my Prince Charming! He has such a big heart, he sold his beautiful white horse to buy me a ring! Now he’s riding a donkey and poor animal is just so slow.

Seriously talking, after six years of being a lady of the night, I decided to step out to the daylight. I started this blog almost a year ago. I never thought but I really enjoy writing it. And checking the statistics I’m surprised that so many people follow and send me emails with lots of questions and saying “What a refreshing and interesting blog! I think a stripper who studies Japanese and know psychology should be deserving of every guy’s interest.” Last week I got an email from a university student and she asked me if I would help her writing her dissertation about lap-dance experience. I’m happy to help and also that not only men read my blog.

But my final goal is – to be honest – to write a book. I have the whole concept in my head but it takes time. So now I try to work less at night and focus on writing daytime. At least it keeps me busy and entertained until my Prince Charming arrives on his donkey.

To my dear A.,

I’m writing here in an open letter to say thank you for your wonderful friendship. We are in a different part of the World, our paths are not crossing often, but you are always in my heart. I’d like to say a big thank you for all your support, either way, it was financial or emotional. There were hard and difficult times in my Life and I will never forget that you gave me a helping hand to get over with. I also say thank you for all your advice. I’m a bit stubborn sometimes to listen to anybody else but myself and I apologise if I did not follow them. But often they showed me the path I need to start to walk on and move forward.

You were with me almost from the beginning since I work in the night. You’ve seen me happy and sad, angry and disappointed, sometimes drunk. Thank you for listening to all my complains about other girls, my bosses and my crazy stories about stupid situations.

I’m saying thank you again for all your presents. For the chocolates and perfumes, little jewellery every time we met. Even the little things make a big difference. We were not in a romantic relationship, but you always paid attention to make me feel special. Thank you for being so generous to me all the time.

And thank you for the best birthday present I’ve ever got in my life! Since I started to travel, the camera is always with me. You helped me to take all those beautiful pictures I took on my trips. You made it all possible for me. It’s like a part of you always with me when I climb a rock or wait for the sunset. I ensure you I use that camera at my very best knowledge.

I write this letter because since I started this blog, I have lots of old memories coming up. And you were my best customer ever who became a friend. And I’m writing you this letter here because I want to show to others that we strippers not only golddiggers. We can say thank you and we mean it when you treat us as a woman, not like a piece of meat. We also can appreciate the money that the guys spend on us. And the friendship between a dancer and her customer does exist!

Dear A., your friendship always means a lot to me!

Wish you all the best in Life and God bless you!

Lots of love,

Lindsay

London makes me lazy

I saw this advert on the Picadilly line today “Don’t cook, just eat!” That was an online takeaway ad. I do takeaways or fast food sometimes when I’m on the go or I arrive home after a trip and there is no food in my fridge and that time everything is closed. OK, sometimes I’m so lazy to cook and that’s the easier way to pick up the phone and order.

But where is the pleasure of cooking? It’s OK to be lazy and just concentrate on the needs of the body. No effort. (Hopefully, you can lift up the fork alone and not lazy to eat.) But I go further. Fast food, fast sex. Have you ever thought about why are so many escort agencies in London? (or any big cities?) Hm? No effort. You don’t need to play by the rules, you don’t need to buy flowers and bonbons etc. just pick up the phone and order a girl.

In relationships are no real commitments. In overpopulated places a new, a better one always can cross your way. I had a French customer, he lived in London quite a long time before he moved back to Paris. And we discussed this several times. He said Paris as a capital still supports relationships more, but London not at all. You are always ready to leave. So many temptations! You have one foot in the relationship, but the other one is always ready to run away just because that bustie blondie gave you a smile on the corner. And it’s not only true about guys, girls are the same. Simply there is plenty of fish in the sea. But everyone dreams about a long-lasting relationship, where you are mine and I am yours, it just seems we can’t make a 100% sure clear decision to be with that person. Because what if? And this is not a way of an adult. When you are a teenage boy or girl, it’s OK, you have to go through different situations to learn your lessons. But I meet often guys in their fourties who think in the same way.

My favourite is the “married but looking” category. Looking for what? A big bang on your head from your wife when she finds out you’re advertising yourself that way on a dating website? The open relationship is fairer when both parts can look for pleasure outside of the relationship. But I guess the married but looking guy would be very offended if someone fucks his wife while he’s on a business trip.

It sometimes makes me laugh and sometimes sad. I know that urge for looking for something new it’s always there until there are other options. Like “Shall I go for the chicken curry or the pesto pasta salad?” Our community says you can have today this, tomorrow that. Just like ordering from the menu without any effort. But once you got your meal, stop looking at the next table what they are having!

I’m a stripper and you can ask anything you want to know..

Let’s play this game. You can ask me anything – seriously anything – about my work, I will give you an honest answer.

I got emails often and the most popular question is how I became a stripper. I used to get male attention since I started modelling at the age of 16. That time I had lots of fight with my dad – no real fights, no verbal or physical abuse, more of a cold war. He didn’t show interest in me, so I was seeking this attention somewhere else. Yes, in my case the psychological cliché as every stripper has daddy issues is true. But during my work years, I’ve seen the proof of the opposite too.

After portrait modelling, I started to do nude modelling. I was always proud of my body and I had trust in the photographers I worked with. I worked in Austria and Italy a lot so I got a bit of a chance to travel. But this time we only speak about artistic nude photography. Like a naked girl, painted in gold standing in the middle of a lake as a statue. Austrian photographers love bodypainting and they are quite creative. I really enjoyed those workshops. But of course, I met different photographers with different offers. I was relatively young and naïve, and the amount of money was very tempting. So slowly I got involved in the adult industry. But this I didn’t enjoy that much. I enjoyed spending the money I made (when I studied on the university, I’m sure in some months I got bigger salary than my teachers.) or I was happy when I could support my mum with a bigger amount but it came with shame.

The opportunity for dancing came on casting when I was talking with other girls and both were a dancer. I was curious so I asked the contact number of the guy that I can apply to. Very soon I went to Italy and after I was with him at the Austrian embassy signing a 3 months contract and waiting for my visa. The beginning was hard. I still remember the song when I first danced on stage. The other girls gave me enough alcohol not to remember what I was doing (thank God!) but I still remember the song was Get busy by Sean Paul.

When I finished the contract, I had 2 choices: I carry on dancing and I make more money, but then I lose the energy I already invested in my studies. That was after my 2nd year at the university, I was halfway to get my diploma and I’m not the kind of person who gives up easily. I decided to go back and finish my studies. I told myself “If I miss the spotlights, I still can work as a dancer afterwards.” But when I got my diploma, I forgot all about the stage, private dances, selling champagne and extra high stripper shoes. I wanted to have an average life. But that was a difficult time in my country, after a few failures in finding a good job I decided to move to England for 1-2 years. In Hungary, I was already thinking about trying out myself abroad when I was sitting in a job interview and listen to the guy offering me a job in another city, that meant minimum 2,5 hours travel every day, over time, limited access to grow for the minimum salary. That was all that my country could offer me. No, thank you. I quit. I went home from the interview and I bought a one-way ticket to England.

The first year I had a normal job as a nanny. Then I moved to London from the countryside and I found all those dodgy opportunities working at night. I started to work at a hostess club on Little Portland Street to improve my English. I was about talking and selling champagne but no dancing. It was great fun, good money, I didn’t look for other options. Then I changed the club and started to work at the Directors Lodge at St. James. That was the longest time I spent in one club, I worked there for almost 2 years. But still no dancing. Then I had a chance to change working in a restaurant where I was quite disappointed and not long after I was heading to Greece. (you can read more about in the Beginning 2. post)

Long story short, this is my life. This is what made me who I am today. Now I’m not ashamed anymore, I take full responsibility for all my decisions, without regrets. And today I’m brave enough to tell you that you can ask me ANYTHING, I will give you an honest answer.

In memory of Jimmy

Although I have to confess I didn’t know him well. We were not friends in the deeper meaning of this word. He was my manager. One of the kinds you will always remember. But for sure he was a character of the Mavericks club in Cape Town, South Africa. A lively, funny and definitely an unforgettable character. He was homosexual. I’m not saying that to label him, I’m saying because it was part of his personality. His persona if I can say that.

He was funny when he made a show on stage as a drag queen. Don’t imagine a proper show with costumes and makeup, he just randomly went on the stage when he got bored and took all the attention from customers. Every eye and every spotlight were focused on him. Or when he pretended he’s on a catwalk. My friends and I were sitting on a coach and enjoyed the show as he moved his hips sideways as models do. We were laughing at him and with him. He enjoyed our attention too. Still makes me smile when I remember how he fixed his imaginary make up in the mirror!

I didn’t like him sometimes as he always checked what the girls are wearing. He was a very honest criticism with sharp eyes – and with a sharp tongue too. (But he was right most of the time) I remember when my friend wanted to wear very sexy jeans short and he almost got a heart attack when he saw her! He sent her back to the changing room to change the outfit because jeans short are not “classy”. Or I remember when he was flirting with my customer and end of the story he gave his mobile number to him. My customer was kept telling me all night that “I can’t believe that! I came to a strip club and I got a number of a guy!” It was so funny. (Maybe my customer was also homosexual but he hasn’t realised it yet. For me, it’s a mystery how homosexual guys can spot each other, and they are right most of the time.)

Sometimes I hate my facebook. When you just want to check your notifications and on the wall, the bad news just popping up and hit you in the head. I didn’t even know he was sick. Everything happened so suddenly. A great soul has gone. Now he’s doing catwalk shows to angels in heaven and makes them smile. But he will live forever in our memories and we won’t forget him.

You will be truly missed.

Rest in peace Jimmy Diva!