B. Lindsay Belan, Author at HeartBrokenStilettos

Kisses from sunny Costa Brava

(Meanwhile, I arrived back to London, but I wrote this when I was still there, so let me share the original post.)

Sun, sea, beach, good food, sangria.. what else can I wish for more?

I was hesitating to come to Spain or go to Greece instead, but I thought I’ve been in Greece already, let’s try Spain this time! I was a bit worried as I heard a lot about the clubs here and almost all of them offer more than a regular private dance. This club 2 years ago was a brothel too, no wonder if guys are still continuously asking for sex.

And actually, I’m lucky that I came here instead of Greece. The Czech girl who arrived yesterday was there and she almost didn’t get paid according to the crisis there. One night the owner paid her normally but the next one “Sorry I don’t have enough money. So I gave you just that much.” It’s not correct as we have a contract with the clubs how much they must pay for us. And most of our money is commission based. It means customers come and pay, we have the percentage of their money spent on us. With daily payment, I want to get the whole amount on the same day, especially in those countries where they don’t keep the records clear. In countries like Germany, it won’t be a problem as they write everything down.

In Norway I worked for Albanians, in Canada for Asians, now in Spain I work for Russians.

It’s just funny yet confusing, my bosses don’t have a typical Russian name like Sergei or Dimitri. Never heard that name before, now I have three of them in the same club (plus one more in another club)

They are new in business and a little bit unprofessional. But because they don’t know how to make it better, at least they don’t stress the girls to make more money for them.

But the club is boring. It has lots of potentials, but still boring. I can imagine here parties, special shows just like in the local discotheques. The barwoman has enough time to practice her pole dance knowledge, instead of serving the customers. I make money on customers. But how can I make money if it’s a Saturday night, the club is empty, only two young guys are sitting there with one drink (one had only water) not even the bar makes money on them. And finally after one and a half hour later they decide to buy one house dollar each to one of the girls on stage. Wow, she made 2€! And that was money hard earned as they though a boobie massage is included.

And let’s be honest, this is the Costa Brava! On the beach, our men see more tits than in a club where only 5 girls work and there are no continuous stage shows. I spend here more time topless on the beach than at work!

OK, I understand they just opened – maybe 4 months ago – and they are new in the business. Three middle-aged men. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis: they though opening a strip club is easy money and easy fuck for them?

But they have zero organisation skills. We gave them lots of advice as we travel a lot and have seen different clubs with different systems, but they don’t listen. Here if I could make 1000€ in 4 weeks that would be a miracle. But I knew that ahead, so no stress. I still get my 40€ daily salary even the club is empty. I never got 40€ for watching movies as we have Internet access in the club! Accommodation is provided and free of charge and it’s only 50 meters away from the beach. This is I call a paid holiday!

Here is like the language chaos of Babylon as the customers require me to speak Spanish or French, the owners Russian or German. Only a few people speak English, I just wondering why the hell they want English speaker girls then.

One night an Indian guy came to me:

“No chiki chiki?”

“No.” whatever he meant by that. (I have a guess though.)

But during the show in private, it doesn’t matter what language you speak. Words no needed.

The best way to learn a language to have a boyfriend who only speaks that particular language and your love for him will force you to learn. But this is the best way the hate a language too. Once I had a strong feeling for a guy from Puerto Rico, and I started to learn Spanish only because of him. Now I don’t even want to use the words I learned although I understand them. My passion to learn Spanish is gone with him. That scar is deeper than I thought and I realised it now. But I’m proud of my scars on my heart. Without them, it wouldn’t be ME.

Just an update to the end:

On my last week, I made more money than on the previous weeks altogether thanks to the young boys that came to the club. Some of them were nice and very enthusiastic while others were party animals. I like when they drunk and drugged, they forgot we already had a private dance. I have 5 privates with one of them and he thought each dance was the first! So I finished my contract with money and nicely tanned. No reason to complain.

Almost Miss Hungary

Linked to my previous post, in 2001 I went to a beauty pageant where I won the 2nd prize.

When I started modelling, I often travelled to Budapest for a test or portfolio shooting. Once I was waiting for the metro at Deak ter, when a short chubby guy stepped to me.

“Hey, you should apply to Miss Hungary! I’m the one who organises it!”

“Yeah, yeah..” and I turned my head to the opposite direction “Of course!”

The guy was quite arrogant and I was sure he was just trying to sell his BS to me in the hope of getting my number. I forgot about him quickly. The same year I watched Miss Hungary on the TV not having any other watchable program. I almost dropped the remote control when I saw that short guy on the screen! I started to laugh. Oh well, I missed my big chance having my 15 minutes of fame. My excuse, I’m not from the capital and I didn’t really follow the beauty pageants. Maybe I was naive but I had no idea who was that guy. But his approach was arrogant and I rejected him out of hand.

But then in 2001 I had my guts and applied to the one in my region, it is a big annual event there. I was selected for the final. The preparation was fun with trying different clothes, hairdressers, make-up artist, photographers. My favourite was to choose the wedding dress for one of the choreography. Every girl wanted to choose the big princess dress, but I trusted the lady’s taste who chose me a simple but very elegant dress which fits perfectly with my figure. (This dress is still waiting for me because they offered it for my big day.) I didn’t think about to win but I wanted to be a part of it. Among us, we knew who’s going to win anyway by the way how they treated the 3 girls differently. We had an open full-dress rehearsal where the judges were already there. I have this thing whenever I perform on stage, I like to have eye contact with customers otherwise I don’t even smile. I don’t see the point of making the effort to smile. What if nobody watches? So back then I did the process of learning the choreographies without a single smile. But at the rehearsal when there was an audience there, I shined on the stage! I got my million-carat smile, rehashed and showed it up.

Next day I felt the difference when I was sitting in the chair in the hair salon and 3 hairdressers tried to bring the best out of my hair. And in the evening – thanks for my smile – I stood up from nowhere to the 2nd place. And it was such a good feeling. It was not something I won because I slept with one of the judges or my mum was a friend of the organiser. I got it because of myself. And my family and close friends were so proud of me!

When I grew up..

I told you before I always wanted to travel even as a kid. And I also wanted to be on stage as a model or dancer. I remember I was maybe 12 years old when I made some clothes and we were playing a catwalk show with my sister and the girls from my neighbourhood. (The short period when I wanted to be an astronomer and I knew the name of the nebulas, doesn’t count here.) Then designing clothes became a part of the play. First I made them by hand, but later I learned how to use the sewing machine. Later I made my own clothes (and more importantly my mum let me wear them to school!) I even made a few for my friends too. Today I enjoy the great benefits of it when I design my costumes, although I never had a plan back in those days that one day I’ll perform as a stripper.

Also, I was about 12 when I started to write poems. I even won a prize once. Literally, the first money I ever made was from my writing skills. And from the money I won, my mum bought me a gold necklace with a small cross. “That will always remind you of the first money you earned!”

See where I am now? I travelled, I’m on stage, I do modelling and I’m about writing a book. Who told you, you can not reach your dreams???

The poem I wrote and it was read the front of the entire school was about my dreams, what I’d like to see in this world. The first part was about the sea. You think it’s not a big deal, but it is indeed for 12 years old who was living in a country with no beachside and the country just came out of the communist era. The second part was about Africa and a real safari with no cages. Done. 7 months lived in Cape Town was one of my biggest adventures so far. The third part was about landscapes, mountains, waterfalls. And I was lucky enough to see the Mt. Fuji and the Niagara. It sounds crazy that you write down at the age of 12 what you’d like to reach and 20 years later you look back and you say “Damn, I’ve done all!” It’s like making a wish list to the Universe “Hello, these are my dreams. Please, help me to reach them!”

My mum was always supportive and I love her dearly. Then I was a rebel at the age of 15 and I had a wild period (who doesn’t at that age?) I remember when I wanted to go to a party wearing fishnet tights and a leather miniskirt, my mum literally stood in the door hands on the side “you’re not going anywhere dressed like this!” Of course I didn’t measure the danger what could happen if I stood in the bus stop dressed like a hooker (we were living in a small village and the bus stop was on the main road where the truck traffic was quite high) God knows what could happen, but I was so focused on going to that party and I was so upset at her stopping me! Good old days. Now 20 years later we always have a good laugh about this story. But besides going to that party, I got everything I ever dreamed of as a kid.

Photoblog – Let’s have some fun!

I’m in a cheeky, playful mood these days! 🙂

And again, thank you, Lawrence, for the great photo!

https://www.ljessop.com/

Lots of Love,
Lindsay

If you’d like to see more of my photos, sign up to my OnlyFans account:

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What do you do in private?

“It’s called a private dance. So guess what? I’m dancing!”

“Ahh! Only dancing?”

I hate this question so much! My job is selling an erotic fantasy, nothing more, nothing less.

So here it is what I’m doing in private (dedicated to the one who wished to read more fantasies on my blog):

You pay for the dance at the bar. When the payment is gone through I hold your hand and take you to the VIP area. I smile because I’m happy to tease such a handsome man! I open the curtains and there is a cosy leather sofa, some candles and soft music playing in the background. Everything is set up for a seductive mood.

I seat you in the middle of the sofa and I sit on top of you. Let’s the game start! Keeping eye contact my hand goes down on your body until your trousers and I take off your belt. (Don’t be so happy, it’s just because not so comfy grinding on the metal buckle.) I ease off your tie and open the top buttons on your shirt. I touch your arms: “Oh, you’re so strong!” I know you need a little adulation and my words are music to your ears. I stand up keeping a bit of a distance so you can see me in the candlelight. I start to dance and slowly take off my dress. I let your eyes wondering on each part of my body. I follow your glare with my hand and softly caress my body and play with my hair. I come closer to you and I place one foot on the sofa on your side. My inner tight touch your face and you feel the softness of my skin on your cheek. You’re shy to touch me but I place your hands on my waist. “A soft touch is allowed” telling you playfully and I let you grab my bum. But I’m the boss so nothing can happen without my permission.

Then I sit down on your lap and I lean forward. I run the tip of my nose on your neck, I don’t kiss but let my lips gently touch your skin and move my hips on you. You close your eyes and enjoy the moment. But before you enjoy it too much and you start to moan, I stand up. (Remember, the private dance is not about you finishing off.)

A little dance against the wall keeping the distance, then I turn and sit on your lap showing my back to you and I continue the grinding. I start slowly then I do it faster. A little twerking on your penis for fun and you’re getting to be excited. Then I lean back, you can see my body over my shoulder. I pull down the straps of my bra and I ask you to open it on the back. You happily follow my request. I still hold my bra when I stand up and turn then suddenly I throw it to your face. Don’t be so smiley, you can’t keep it as a present!

I come closer to you and I press my boobies to your face imitating to give a kiss with them on your cheeks. I still press my naked breasts to your chest, I slide down the floor. Now I’m kneeling in front of you almost in the same position if I would give you a blowjob. Our eyes are engaged and I let your fantasy soar. “Do you like it?” I press my boobies against your penis and give a little massage with them until your breath starts to be heavy.

I stand up and slowly take off my panties. Again I keep distance and let your eyes wondering on my fully naked body but suddenly our song is finished. I blow a feathery kiss to your cheek and I say a “Thank you.”

(And usually, you would say: “I don’t want to finish, I pay one more!”)