disappointed Archives - Page 2 of 3

When airports give you extra excitement

Yesterday I arrived in Paris. I passed the passport control, just needed to get my suitcase and let’s go to work. Bags are coming. You know the strange feeling when there are less and fewer bags on the conveyor belt but you’re still waiting for yours. Waiting… and waiting. Meanwhile, I had lots of thing in my head. I think you realise you travel a lot when you have more problems at the airports with missing bags, delayed or cancelled flights. Well, this year I had enough.

Some of it was my mistake. Just like when I went to Iceland. I planned everything just like the first time I travelled there, called a taxi, Gatwick Express etc.. I was perfectly on time at Gatwick but I didn’t see my flight be shown on the board. I was still not aware of the situation. I even went to complain to the desk and the lady told me “Don’t worry, the check-in will be open soon.” OK, I thought I check my emails until so I wanted to connect to the airport Wifi. I don’t remember so well, but I think it asked my flight number for the Internet or something that again I didn’t find on the list. that’s strange! And in a minute I realised that s***, I’m in perfect time but at the wrong airport!!! My flight is from Heathrow! That’s happening when you do everything from routine. First time I had the flight from Gatwick indeed and now I didn’t even think or check everything properly. I was laughing at myself badly! I don’t know how I could manage to get to Heathrow but I was there before the flight took off. (If you know the distance between the 2 airports and the traffic in London you know, if not, trust me, that was a miracle.) And if I wouldn’t have had the suitcase that needs to be checked in, they could just let me go through the gates. The security guy apologised a hundred times, but I couldn’t be angry because it was my stupidity. I just smiled at him and booked a new ticket for the next day.

I was not so lucky leaving Japan either. I changed the date of my return flight once online, they charged me extra for that, and then I quit from the club so I needed to change it again. I called the BA, the lady was very helpful and explained to me that they would charge me again for the changing plus I have to pay the difference between the price of the flights. OK, this is the price of the service. But then I checked the tickets, and the one-way return ticket from Tokyo to London cost 1000£ more than I paid for the original ticket! No way, I chose to buy a new ticket with another airline and cancelled this booking. I wrote an email to claim for the refund. I got an answer weeks later: BA was lovely to give me a refund of 40 pence! For a second I thought it’s a kinda joke but they were serious and send it to my bank account. I think the whole bank transaction cost more than that 40pence… Again, I was just laughing at them.

Some other situation was not so funny. Once I flew back to London from Geneva and we had to land in Paris for a technical reason. We were waiting on the plane while technicians came and checked the doors and the vacuum in the aircraft. Hours later the pilot was apologising that we couldn’t take off, but they couldn’t fix the problem and didn’t want to take a risk as “We flew with a half-broken flight to Paris..” But they give us food and hotel rooms for a night. Lots of people got angry because they missed the flight connection but I felt quite happy that they didn’t want to take this kind of risk.

But the most unforgettable story was in Belgium. My friend and I finished the work on the 23rd of December and we wanted to get home for Christmas. On the way to the airport started snowing. We thought it’s gonna be OK as flights take off in the snow, so no problem. But it became heavy snow and the road was slippery, the driver couldn’t go fast. The timing was already very bad and we were sitting in the car intense, none of us wanted to miss that flight. I think we arrived at the airport at the very last minute. We were running to the check-in but what a surprise! It was still a huge queue before us. The airline company couldn’t decide if the plane takes off or not but they let us checking-in and wait on the plane. We were waiting there for hours still hoping that we go home on that day. Suddenly my friend poked my shoulder “Look!” We saw from the window that people were getting off from the plane next to us. That was not a good sign! Shortly after the pilot told us the get off too. There was no plane from that airport that night, all flight were cancelled. (If you remember that was a few years back when the same happened in Paris and lots of flight were cancelled and airports were closed because of heavy snow in Europe.) We stuck at the airport. It was cold, no food, and we didn’t sleep all night. They actually closed the whole airport for the night, only one pub decided to stay open and serve the people at least with alcohol to keep us warm and later the Red Cross came to give us hot tea and coffees. That was not the night I cry for in my life. But sure I will never forget. Since then if someone sings the White Christmas, this is the first thing that comes to my mind.

There were just so many people and there were not enough replacement buses or places in hotels nearby. We put on all our warm clothes and waiting for the snow to stop. That was almost in the morning when we got a crazy taxi driver who drove us in the snowfall through Bruxelles. We decided to try the International airport. Charleroi is a smaller airport, we thought if there are flights in the morning they must be from the International airport as they start to clean the bigger airports first. We were right and at least they had the Starbuck’s open! But we needed to book new tickets and the queue was already huge in front of the ticket office before opening. When we finally got to the desk, we didn’t think when the lady told us the price. We just paid. This story has a happy ending as we both were at the Christmas dinner with our family in that year. Luckily.

Just as my story today. My luggage finally arrived. They said it was some mistakes, they couldn’t find them (as I was not the only one with missing bags). So a bit later, but arrived. Now I’m sitting in the apartment with all my stuff with me. (I don’t know what to do if they say by mistake my luggage with all the stripper costumes landed let’s say somewhere in Chicago.) But now I’m relaxed. In the end, everything goes well.

So if you are about to travel anywhere in the World: I wish you a safe trip!

My dog-lover ex

I love animals. Although I’m a cat person, I do love dogs as well. Ok, not those portable handbag dogs. They are cute but for me, the meaning of a dog starts somewhere a normal height. But after experiencing this story I was not able even to look at them for a while.

I was dating a guy who had a small female dog. Of course, I knew him from the club I used to work at that time. But I thought he is a fantastic man. We shared the same way of thinking, a similar mentality from the beginning, same interest. He was a strong character, manly, like a big silent warrior. You know the kind you know you can rely on. He will be there any time you need him. So what about the dog then? No, the story is not that bad as you think, but definitely one of the weirdest that ever happened to me.

For me, his relationship with his dog was acceptable but not quite alright. Maybe I was overreacting but sometimes he gave more attention to the dog than to me. I have made comments about it and he just said I’m jealous of the dog. But he also told me he loves her more than anything else and she has the priority in his life. Because she taught him what real love is. When we had sex I asked him not to let her in the room and he agreed. But when we finished he oped the door and the dog jumped in the bed. He immediately started to play with her, stroke her and I was scratching my head that WTF? I just gave him a blowjob and swallowed his sperm and he’s pampering the dog more than me? All those intimate moments have vanished in a second.

But the main issue was not that. When I first saw the dog humping and cuming on his arm I found the situation funny. Dogs do it on random things, sometimes on a toy or on your leg. The second time I still didn’t want to see the warning signals. But at the 3rd, 4th, 5th times it was bizarre! When I realised that is part of the daily routine, this fantastic, strong guy became so small in my eyes. He lost all my respect. But how can I respect a man who is misunderstanding his own feelings and project his love for a dog? Lonely people often do that but in a sexual way? I felt pity for him. And we had a huge argument. He didn’t want to understand why it’s a problem, animals need that too, it’s nature. Is it nature to pat me in the same way as the dog or using the same words when he made his dog cum than he used with me? That’s sick man!

Psychologically I understand him. He lost his mother and he suppresses lots of love and he became a sad person. Then he got the dog, someone that he can love and take care of. I just don’t know how it became linked with his sexual habits. I’d love to hear what a psychoanalyst would say about that.. how did this become such a habit for him, more important than a woman next to him? When we had an argument I even asked him if he knows that in some countries it’s legal to marry a dog (according to an Australian guy who married his labrador) All he could say it was that he promises me not to do it again front of me! He didn’t understand it’s just way too wrong! He thought it’s not a big deal. It is a big deal! He thought I’m asking him to choose between me and his dog. He didn’t get the point that I ask him to choose between me and his habit. I knew I have to make my decision to accept him with his dog or get my stuff and run away. I told him to ask any healthy-minded woman, none of them would expect that from a guy they want to build a relationship with. So the guy slowly disappeared from my life. In the end, I was the bad one who doesn’t like animals. I do like them. But I love and respect myself more than to stay in this situation.

I often wonder what if I’m not a dancer? Still, can I have all these interesting stories about dating and weird guys all over the planet? Or am I overreacting something here?

I’m curious what other women would do in the same situation…

The Little House of Fetish

I can not call myself a prude woman. I had a boyfriend before that he loved me wearing stockings in bed. I didn’t find it difficult if that makes him happy, why not. As I’m doing fetish modelling these kinds of desires are not unknown to me. I don’t know why but I noticed lately that guys with secret fantasies sooner or later open up for me and telling me or their dirty secrets. And I love those private dances when my customer only wants to give me a foot massage or lick the heels of my shoes! But experience something extreme in private life, it’s a different story.

First I was dating a guy and he liked the glossy, shiny hold-ups on me. For every date we had he arrived with a pair of black stockings. He knows I love the vintage style Agent Provocateur ones (I already have a whole collection of them) So we were dating for a while but one night after having sex he turned to me saying: “Honey, I love your legs in these stockings. But what if next time I’m gonna wear them?”

End of story. I didn’t know if I should have been embarrassed or laugh out loudly. I had no words to him just went to the bathroom because I couldn’t hide my surprised face. Obviously, that was our last date. Can you imagine a big, masculine guy asking you for wearing your tights? I know in this century we shouldn’t be surprised at all, but the personal experience is more intense and you really don’t want something like that from a guy who anyway could be a long-term partner or the father of your child.

In the second situation I was more brave and curious (and let’s say tipsier). I had a customer that I had a good time with, we were laughing a lot and opened the bottle of champagne one after another. Suddenly he just gave me his whisky glass.

“I want you to pee in it!”

Probably the alcohol I drunk previously made the effect on me that I was not surprised.

“OK, I do but only if you drink it!”

It’s definitely not something I do often. But that was one of the situations in my life when I chose to go beyond my limits. And he was only a customer I’ve seen first time (and last time), I mean there were no emotions attached. So I did it for him. He drunk it with no facial expression just like he’d drink his whisky. He only asked for some ice to put in. OK, this is also something we know it exists, no surprise here. But such a big difference in person than just to hear about it.

The third one was the weirdest I can say although I don’t know if I should mention it on the same page with the fetish. All my readers can decide about it.. (I’d love to know what Freud would comment!) I met this guy. He was one of the kindest types that I don’t meet quite often and somehow I felt good with him from the beginning. But he had this tiny little thing: a small dog. I had boyfriends with dogs before and after him but it was something I’ve never seen. First, when she (you read it well, SHE!) started to humping on his arm, I did not pay attention to it. Nature has its funny ways to express itself. But later on, I realised that is kinda part of the daily routine: feeding the dog, playing with the dog, make the dog cum… Yuck! When I asked how he knows that she has an orgasm, he said: “Her pussy is moving just like yours.” (I felt sort of offended that my pussy has been compared to a dog’s.)

Later I tried to tell him that I don’t think this is a healthy way of living with a dog, but his answer was “it’s normal, you can check it on Youtube, there are lots of videos” Yes, but the normal reaction from guys is laughing on it, make a video because it’s strange or simply just tell the dog to “go away”. Not to mention not everything is normal what you can watch on Youtube. I also googled it, but I had to stop educating myself on this subject when the 2nd or 3rd article was a step by step guide “how to train your dog to fuck you”.

My mistake that I didn’t say anything to him about how disgusting it was. I just couldn’t find the right words. It made me confused and I even questioned my own sexuality when after having sex with me he still wanted to please his dog. (As I noticed that he was the one who generated the whole game. I don’t want to talk here about Pavlov, his dogs, the reflexes and that bell..) Because the dog taught him to love. Excellent, so what I’m doing here? So next time when I’m single, feeling lonely and unloved, should I buy a horse??? I’m done. No more words. The rest is out of the question.

But again, I learned something about myself. Since then I know I’m not able to love someone unconditionally, just the way he is. In theory, it sounds beautiful, but good or not, I have my own conditions. And I think every healthy-minded women would think in the same way.

(Overall I try not being judgemental here. It’s not about put those guys on a blacklist. End of the day it is their life, their choice, their habits. But they helped me a lot to realise my own limitations and acceptance.)

Welcome back in London!

Somehow back to London I always feel being lazy. Although I have lots of things to do. It’s more of an administrative break than a real holiday for me as I have to arrange the bank, doctors, payments, bills etc. not to mention to contact agencies (as I work with severe) which is the best place to go next. But besides that I love to take the time to slow down a bit when I’m home, catch up with friends and just simply enjoy life. Right now I’m sitting in a park enjoying this rare, beautiful, sunny days in England with my favourite Starbucks frappuccino. Small things can make me happy though.

This time after Japan I still need time to pull myself together, even I spent 2 weeks thereafter I quit the job. I don’t want to start the next contract being tired of people. It’s never a lucky start. But my next place will be Corsica and I’m pretty sure the sunshine and the sea will cure my little burnout syndromes very fast.

Someone asked me why I don’t work in London. Such a big city with lots of businessmen from all over the world. The question is correct. The answer: because I don’t want to. The system in London strip clubs is different than in the rest of Europe. I’m not telling you big secrets here but elsewhere in Europe, the clubs pay me to fix daily salary plus commission, while here in London the dancers pay to the clubs to work there and it depends on the location and the popularity of the club it can be £60-80 per night. And because the girls pay for the club, they want to make sure that they earn minimum that amounts back, so in some clubs, they are waiting for customers at the front door to jump on them as soon as they enter. I cannot be such a shark! It is just not my work style and this is not a relaxing environment for me.

And this funny story just came into my mind. After I came back from Greece where I worked on the summer, I was looking for some new clubs in London. I wanted to stay for a while. I found one where I started to work but on my first day one of the girls was absolutely fucked up (It was only a Monday night but she was totally drunk.) She was in the middle of the room and suddenly she showed her naked butt to everyone screaming “I’m not wearing any panties!” Such a great expression! Later she followed me to the washroom saying “You have to buy me a drink.”

“Why I have to buy you anything?”

“Because that’s a rule here, every new girl has to buy me a drink.”

(There was no free drink from the bar to the girls, you can guess why..)

“No.”

“I’m gonna smash your face!” she sounded extremely arrogant.

“You know what? Do it!”

She did not expect this answer and I just left her there. I don’t get scared that easy and she was quite drunk for a fight anyway.

Next day she was like nothing happened. But I had a problem with the manager instead. Every girl had to wear a long dress on the floor and I had this beautiful long dress with a high slit on one side. And he was arguing with me that it’s not what he wants to see in his club. Even the house mum tried to convince him that it is okay as it was really a gorgeous dress and it fit me perfectly. But he was kept saying no and I got a little pissed off after the first-day experience.

“So just let me make it clear here: if the customer can see my right ankle from the dress, it is a problem. But if I’m drunk and I show my naked ass to everyone, it’s not. Right? WTF?”

His face went red and only told me “Go, change!”

Of course, I did, and at the same time, I left the club. Next week I was sitting on a plane to Belgium.

So for me, this work and travel combo work out perfectly. It needs more organisation, but for it’s worth the time and effort. And between the contracts, I have enough time to recharge my batteries.

My last days in Japan

I try to complain less about this post, but after lots of thinking, I decided to leave Japan earlier than I planned. I found the work here extremely hard and I was getting so tired. I didn’t even have the energy to post anything here, my body and brain were totally drained.

The difficulties started when I realised the Japanese guys are not so polite and respectful as I thought so. In their work life, business or when they need to represent their country, they do their best. There is no doubt that the Japanese are one of the most polite people. But at night I saw a different face of the Japanese guys. A different side of the coin. When they are drinking and reducing the stress they have at work their politeness and respect have vanished. No wonder that the first Japanese words I learned were “pervert” and “No way!” When they come to clubs, they are just like big kids that want to touch and take home everything they can. Oh well, East or West, a man is just a man.
In the first place, I have to admit my purpose is not to write anything bad about Japan. But the reason of the blog is to share my experience so I have no reason to lie. And feeling not so comfortable in this world was 50% on my behalf. When I started to write this blog, in the first post I submitted that I don’t want any more games and lies in my life. Here if I want to catch and keep a good customer, that’s the only way. To lie how much I missed him and be a part of the game he’s playing. Sorry guys, I have no energy for that! Or maybe my mind is too simple for this kind of games. Just an example, before I travelled I was reading about Japanese that they don’t say “I love you” as often as people in the west do, mainly because of cultural differences. I’m not questioning it in their private life. But at work, I heard it every night at least twice from customers!

The other reason why I got tired is physical. I have only 2 days off per months and it doesn’t matter if I sick or anything, I have to be at work on time because my Russian “Mama-san doesn’t understand that”. And lately, when she asked me to keep the rules of the club or I can change my ticket back home, I happily said: “OK then, I’m leaving..” What I can gain if I finish here is much more than a couple of hundred bucks I lose. I love money. But I know what I’m capable to do for money and what not. And my mental health is definitely in the first place! For the money, I don’t bend myself over my limits (I could do it for family or love but that’s a different story..) As someone told me by knowing me he knew it would happen because my spirit is too free for this society.
So I decided to leave. Luckily I could stay at a friend’s place a couple of days more so I finally have the time to relax and see Japan! I would have been very sad if I leave this country without seeing its beauty.