competition Archives - HeartBrokenStilettos

Women in the club

It’s quite funny to see when a woman comes to the club and she tries to outdo the strippers. I told you earlier, there is such a big competition between the girls already, but some female customers want to show us she can get the same attention, without knowing anything about our job. She asks if she’s allowed to go on stage and do a dance. Usually, the little devil whispers in his ears and the manager doesn’t say no, just for fun. But for us, it’s just pathetic seeing a “normal” woman trying to spin on the pole and seduce the audience, just like we do. Yes, usually she’s drunk as hell, and her movement is uncoordinated.

She has no idea that dancing on stage is just one little part of our work, selling drinks, participating in mind games and dealing with difficult customers require more, than just having the courage to take off our bra in public.

Sometimes they didn’t even ask if they can go on stage; it happened in Belgium that two women came in with their partners, they ordered a bottle of champagne, and all night they were running around the club without their blouses. Although the worst, when a dancer of another club comes in and she wants to show off on stage that she’s better than everybody in the room. Women, eh? Do you believe now that it is such a competitive world?

In Luxembourg, I remember there were two men and a woman, they were colleagues and they came in after a company event. They were pretty pissed already but booked me in the open VIP lounge with a bottle of champagne. I, the stripper was elegantly sitting on the sofa drinking the champagne while the woman was taking the alcohol like a sponge. The guys begged me to do a striptease, but they didn’t want to pay for a private dance – and in that case, I don’t earn money – so I danced a little for both men but with my clothes on. Just for a little teasing, they might change their minds and be willing to pay for a private dance. Suddenly the woman thought she can do it better, she pushed me back to the sofa, and she started to “dance” in front of her colleagues. She took her top off, she was touching herself and rubbing her body to their crotches.

“Darling, you are way too wrong if you think this is my job!” I thought but said nothing. I was only wondering how she could look in their eyes the next day at work.

When the champagne was gone and she started to get in their pants, I decided to leave the table. There was nothing more left for me from the part of the entertaining and the sensual fantasies, she did everything to them.

I don’t compete with such a woman! They ordered one more bottle of champagne but they didn’t book another dancer. After 15 minutes out of curiosity I glanced to the VIP, it was open so I could see what was going on. One of the guys fingered her even then.

And people call me a slut because I’m a professional stripper! Isn’t it ironic?

Almost Miss Hungary

Linked to my previous post, in 2001 I went to a beauty pageant where I won the 2nd prize.

When I started modelling, I often travelled to Budapest for a test or portfolio shooting. Once I was waiting for the metro at Deak ter, when a short chubby guy stepped to me.

“Hey, you should apply to Miss Hungary! I’m the one who organises it!”

“Yeah, yeah..” and I turned my head to the opposite direction “Of course!”

The guy was quite arrogant and I was sure he was just trying to sell his BS to me in the hope of getting my number. I forgot about him quickly. The same year I watched Miss Hungary on the TV not having any other watchable program. I almost dropped the remote control when I saw that short guy on the screen! I started to laugh. Oh well, I missed my big chance having my 15 minutes of fame. My excuse, I’m not from the capital and I didn’t really follow the beauty pageants. Maybe I was naive but I had no idea who was that guy. But his approach was arrogant and I rejected him out of hand.

But then in 2001 I had my guts and applied to the one in my region, it is a big annual event there. I was selected for the final. The preparation was fun with trying different clothes, hairdressers, make-up artist, photographers. My favourite was to choose the wedding dress for one of the choreography. Every girl wanted to choose the big princess dress, but I trusted the lady’s taste who chose me a simple but very elegant dress which fits perfectly with my figure. (This dress is still waiting for me because they offered it for my big day.) I didn’t think about to win but I wanted to be a part of it. Among us, we knew who’s going to win anyway by the way how they treated the 3 girls differently. We had an open full-dress rehearsal where the judges were already there. I have this thing whenever I perform on stage, I like to have eye contact with customers otherwise I don’t even smile. I don’t see the point of making the effort to smile. What if nobody watches? So back then I did the process of learning the choreographies without a single smile. But at the rehearsal when there was an audience there, I shined on the stage! I got my million-carat smile, rehashed and showed it up.

Next day I felt the difference when I was sitting in the chair in the hair salon and 3 hairdressers tried to bring the best out of my hair. And in the evening – thanks for my smile – I stood up from nowhere to the 2nd place. And it was such a good feeling. It was not something I won because I slept with one of the judges or my mum was a friend of the organiser. I got it because of myself. And my family and close friends were so proud of me!

Just some thoughts..

I’m really on a deep level of understanding myself more and I made some amazing discovery. I realised what is my true problem in this industry. I’m way TOO FEMININE for this work! You think it’s great, a stripper must be feminine. A feminine woman is more pleasure for the eyes. But it’s not exactly the truth.

The woman seduces.
But this work is not about seduction any more. It’s manipulation. How can we get more money out of the guy, how can we keep him all night in the club to spend more, how can we get some cash from him. Seduction? Ehh.. pure manipulation.
Now you think there is not a big difference between the two. Indeed it’s huge! When a woman seduces, she places the man in the centre of her attention. When she manipulates him, the focus on the thing what she can get from him. In our case, that’s his wallet. The man who belongs to this wallet?? Kidding, right?

I’m fully aware that this is my work and I chose it. I make my money from this to pay my bills. But I can sense how it has been changed in the past years. A few years back we also took care of the person, not only his money. Now it’s all changing. There are two kinds of game in the clubs. One between a manipulator and another manipulator. Both know that it’s not true. The girl tries to get as much money as she can, and the guy plays hard to give. That’s more like a business presentation about why you should buy a certain product. And trust me, there are girls who could teach some new view on marketing to the most difficult business sharks! Or the other game between the manipulator and her/his victim. Yes, it can be both ways. When the girl is faking real interest and the guy buys it. He truly believes that the girl wants to see the 67th picture of his dog on his phone. “Show me more photos but can I have one more drink?” In the other way around when the guy is paying to make the girl drunk in the hope he can get more from her in private if she loses control over herself. “I buy you champagne but you must have also a shot with me.” But what if I don’t want to manipulate or be manipulated.

Also, the competition between the girls is not a feminine feature. Competition is always masculine, aggressive, active. The feminine energy is passive. (I’m not talking about the way of behaviour.) Most of my customers like me because I’m more of a woman. Not only on the surface. Because I’m different than the others. I’m more feminine (again, I’m not talking about the looks) But these customers come to the clubs less and less – or they died out. They also don’t want to participate in this game

The feminine energy doesn’t compete. It’s not waiting for the man on top of the stairs to enter the club and jump on him faster than a rocket or doesn’t want to push away the others just to be the first. The feminine energy is supportive, soft and helpful. But this is getting to be rare in this work. One night after we finished the shift, I asked a girl who was quiet all night

“Are you okay?

“Why do you ask?” asked back with so much aggression in her voice. She had no problem with me as we didn’t talk all night. From me, it was just an innocent and genuine question. But for her, it was something offensive. Because she doesn’t get used to that someone honestly cares. I do. If someone crying in the changing room or looks sad, I’m the first in the line to ask what’s wrong. Honestly. I made good friendships because the girl could feel that I’m not faking it. Not just telling her a few conned “feminine” words

And that’s why I can’t stay in this business for so long – besides any other reasons. That’s why I feel less and less successful because I don’t want to be part of this manipulative world any more. You would say the whole world is like that. But in strip clubs, this manipulation is very intense. I have 2 choices left: wait until the night finally pushes away back to the sunlight or I decide to leave it behind by myself.

Why I prefer to work with men

I definitely prefer a male manager or boss over a woman. I work with other girls and indeed we are not always nice to each other, a woman who has power over the dancers can be more harmful than our nastiest colleague. Especially the ones who were dancers themselves before and now they feel superior because now they work behind the bar. Hallelujah! Such a big step on a career ladder! I had a quite bad experience in Oslo with the girl who works at the bar. I’m really not an ass-kissing person and she has had her favourite girls already, so I didn’t even try to be nicer to her than it’s required for a harmonious work relationship. But once we went down to the VIP area with my customer, and he took off his jacket and looked around if there is any hanger or something for the coat. I dared to ask the girl if we have any.

“No, but we have enough coach where he can put it… as you can see.” with an absolute hater in her voice just because I had this innocent question. How nice!

“I wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t looking for one…”

Needless to say, that put a stamp on our further collaboration. I got drunk later that night and I absolutely cannot be controlled under the influence of alcohol, so she sent me back to the changing room when I just wanted to say goodbye to the guy. (He stayed 10 more days in Oslo and I wanted to make sure he would come back as it’s my money end of the day) But she didn’t let me do for whatever reason. I went furious, I was screaming at her. She told me she won’t help me in the future any more and I remember yelling at her: “I don’t need your help! I just need you to be correct with me as you are with the others!” And I really meant it, drunk or not. I don’t need any special treatment but it pulls the trigger when somebody is not correct or rude when I didn’t give a reason. I’m working with alcohol and it can’t be possible to get rid of the full bottles and if I’m drunk I’m more emotional, but a manager has to be cold-headed and tolerate it more not to respond to it in a bitchy way.

Even worst when the manager is a woman and she’s drunk or doesn’t have a clear mind. Once I had an argument with my manager in one club in London, and she went on fire! I wanted to quit from the argument but she followed me where ever I went screaming behind my back. “You think everyone is the boss’s slut here?!” I tried to ignore her as this is the best way you can do but she got more and more furious. Things came to her mind – and on her tongue – that doesn’t make sense. She twisted everything I’ve ever told her and used it against me. Things like I think the other manager is a lesbian and I was in love with one of the guys from the club and so on. She went back behind the bar and continued screaming at me – at that point I was just laughing at her inside – trying to humiliate me but it was a backfire. All the girls and customers looked at her like an evil witch who lost control over herself. The situation got really nasty and I had to call the male manager who worked in another club to stop her. I tried to be calm as much as I could, but enough is enough!

Or the worst ever when the boss’s girlfriend works behind the bar. God save our souls! It happened in Brussels. Literally, that woman threw the cigarette towards me when I stood close to her. And in the beginning, I thought she’s nice.. OK, every time the girls asked for a drink from the bar, she gave us only half glass while her male colleague gave us a normal adult size drink. She even saved the water, never filled up the glass properly. But that’s OK. You don’t take it as offensive. But that woman literally hated the girls. We could feel it. Well, if someone is not trying to climb on her boyfriend’s back, maybe she would have more confidence and bigger self-esteem, and she could be happier with her life. (Just a thought.) But she’s trying to hold her position too tight (both in the club and in her boyfriend’s bed). Not unusual from a woman. But if the boss can’t control her lover/girlfriend working behind the bar, give her a scold’s bridle not to ruin the atmosphere!

Although I worked with men that have a very hectic and unbalance emotional statement, usually men are more direct and better problem solvers. And in this business trouble can happen any night. I remember when I got fired from a club in Switzerland. The woman there was also not too nice, but I’ve heard stories about the owner that how rude he can be the girls. There, I really didn’t work well so he called me in his office and gave me 1 more week notice before he wanted to fire me. And I told him “I don’t need that 1 week, I can tell you right now that I’m not happy in your club and I won’t make better business to you in that week, so better not to waste our time.” I was correct and honest and guess what? He let me stay in the club’s apartment free of charge (because I didn’t make money) until I find something else. Such a big difference in dealing with problems, isn’t it?

When I’m ashamed being Hungarian

I said enough bad things about women with other nationality, it’s time to write about my own nation’s girls. Just because I got fired from the Brussels club because of them. I’m fully aware it can not be a stereotype because in every nation you can find horrible or extremely nice girls, but this club in Brussels have the selection of the most vulgar, terrible (Hungarian) dancers I’ve ever worked with! If I said anything bad about Romanians or Russians in this blog, they were innocent angels compare to them. Literally, I got shocked by the way they behaved. For sure there are certain situations when I’m not proud to be Hungarian.

But let’s start at the beginning. When I arrived, it was OK, the girls were nice, the apartment was not crowded. But those girls already complained that when they arrived it was such a mess and they had to clean everything. One of them even told me she can’t imagine what kind of girls were there before them, who left the apartment so dirty. They collected maybe 6 or 7 bags of rubbish from a 3 bedroom flat. I saw it with my own eyes. One week later I was lucky(?) enough to find out.

The 3 girls arrived. The typical dancers that you see on the street and you know exactly what is their job. The common Hungarian swear “bazd meg” is a lullaby from their mouth. The “gecis fasz” was their every second word. (If you’d like to know what does it mean, use Google, I won’t translate it here.) And there was a huge difference in the work style as well if we can call it to work what they do. They had just a big party, no rules, no responsibilities. They got drunk, made a lesbian show on stage, all for free. That’s still OK. But one of them was drinking the pure vodka from the bottle in the changing room, then a customer bought her one (only one!) bottle of champagne, and she got so drunk and fell from the stage. Customers could do anything with her, she was even kissing with anybody on the floor. She was so drunk that fell asleep on a customer’s shoulder. Another night she went to the toilet and the customer followed her. I don’t want to know what she’s offering in private but it must be a good reason why she was popular amongst the customers. I heard myself when she told her friend “You will hate me now but I did more in the private.” And that was a rumour that one friend of the boss had sex with her upstairs. I won’t be surprised if it’s not only a rumour.. (or not only one friend)

The other one was even drunker. When they got home she was vomiting under the kitchen table and the top of that she peed herself. Such a classy woman! She just told us the previous day that she’s a princess of the club! And the next day at 11am she was drinking again. Not to mention the drugs they take, I swear some of the Hungarian girls could have a job in any pharmacy because they exactly know what to take to feel better. And the boss prefers these girls over the “normal ones”, he fired 3 of us on the same week. Because we don’t work well. I have nothing to be sad about, if it’s a required behaviour in this club, I don’t want to work there either. And if it’s good for him getting angry every morning because there is a fight between the girls or they are so loud and he can’t concentrate on the payments, he deserves it. I don’t feel sorry for him. But I have a feeling that his girlfriend (the manager) stands behind all who can’t stand the girls who have some class. Obviously, those vulgar girls never will be a competition for her and she wants to keep her status quo in the club by getting rid of the well-behaved ones. But this is only my opinion. I just find it strange that they said I don’t work well when I made pretty much the same amount of money with clean work than those crazy ones. And I never made any trouble to them.

But for me, the most shocking was when the boss hired 3 cleaners to clean the apartment. He brought them and he couldn’t even look into my eyes when I opened the door for them. (I was already fired but could stay in the apartment 2 more days, whatever.) Later one of the cleaners said something to the girls about why they can’t clean up after themselves and one of them wanted to beat her with some wooden stick she found in the living room. She was complaining to me when she came to my room to clean. The poor woman has to clean up all the disgusting mess of what they made and she almost was beaten! Seriously, where the hell did the agency find those girls???