Uncategorized Archives - Page 10 of 10

“Why geographical cures seldom work”

You made reference to “feeling trapped much like a hamster on the treadmill” I getting the impression my very dear friend is continuing her voyage on the thread mill, the difference being is that the thread mill is in different parts of the world ie my profession calls this “a geographical cure”

These words from one of my customer from Canada who became a good friend lately. He often visited me in the club and we were talking hours about psychological issues in relationships. He was a friend, a supervisor and tutor All in One. I studied psychology at the University, and I’m telling you this job is the best psychological work experience. (I specialised in working with special needs and sometimes I feel I’m in the best place to practice.)

The treadmill I meant is more complicated. The Life is a roller coaster. Ups and downs. We have to accept the rain and the sunshine. But so many people live in the fog. Their days are grey. They wake up in the morning, coffee, traffic, work, problems, traffic, home, dinner, family, more problems, bed, morning, coffee, work…. like robots. Until someone unplugs them. They read the book Power of Now, they discuss it, but they don’t change anything.

I have enough people around me that they are only complaining about their lives and even if they have every tool to change it, it’s easier to complain and wait for the miracle. They live in a fear of losing their jobs, financial insecurity and in the shadow of banks and credits. But they still want a bigger house, faster cars, and they able to queue days to get the new iPhone S64… Those people sooner or later will get a big punch from Life. I have a good example in my family how I don’t want to live my life. My dad always dreamed about travels and to see the sea. He was always dreaming about it but never done anything for that, even these days when you can go to Italy or Croatia on a low budget, he just finds excuses not to go. And it’s sad but probably he will die without fulfilling his dream.

My treadmill was in the restaurant. I woke up, get to work, then home and sleep. Next day I started again. Long working hours and no time for friends, no private life. But luckily I quickly realised it’s not what I want. So I quit. I had the power to change what I don’t like. And during travelling, I’ve been changed.

What do I gain from my travel?

Power and Self-confidence

Not physical power but mental power. I can hold myself and stand up for myself if it’s necessary. If I want something, I don’t wait for others to do it for me. I’m brave enough to do the first steps. I don’t have a rich family behind me (although my family is very supportive emotionally) so what I have, what I reached, I did it myself. I’m my own boss.

Patience and Empathy

I’ve heard so many times that I’m so quiet. Yes, because I watch and listen. That’s the way how I learn about the surroundings. And I’ve learned a lot. Now I know how to handle an arrogant (man), a drunk (man), a childish (man), a crying (MAN!), a man with money or a man with issues. And I’m learning not to judge them.

Communication skills

Actually, dancing wasn’t my first “night” job. I did hostessing in a London club where I worked only on commission. That was the way I learned English. I was always shy to speak up because I wasn’t sure and I wanted to speak correctly. So I pushed my boundaries and started that job saying if I don’t start to speak – doesn’t matter correct or not –, I will have no money to eat. I’m still alive! 🙂

And I learned how to communicate with different people from different background and/or culture.

..and lots of joyful moments!

This is my favourite! Cage diving with the Great White sharks and crocodiles, going on a safari, seeing the Niagara Falls, climb up the CN Tower and walk on the glass floor, swimming in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, Chinese Moon Festival, eating delicious local food and taste something different, palm trees and beautiful beaches, Octoberfest, bungy jumping.. and the list is not full!

I understand what my friend wanted to say with his words above. Maybe I’m a bit of adrenalin junky. And if this is my new treadmill, I will enjoy it! But I would rather call myself a free spirit and this treadmill simply Life. And for me, it definitely works!

Would you live with a stripper?

The thought of living with a bombshell who can turn you on 7/24 is exciting, right? But let me tell you something. The following information is not general but unfortunately, I’ve seen it many times as I lived more than 30 apartments in different countries. Strippers hate to clean. Of course, you always can find an exception just like me 🙂 but seriously after I arrive at a new place, my first things on the shopping list are toilet rolls, cleaning wipes, sponge and washing up liquid.

Usually, clubs provide accommodation for the girl who travels. Very often is above the club but can be a very nice apartment booked in the nearest hotel just like I had it in Geneva. I found it funny when a customer asked me if we are sleeping on mattresses.. 🙂 But since I dance my best place to stay was in Cape Town, South Africa, where the club has the whole building next door (opposite the police station so it’s absolutely safe!) to accommodate around 100 girls. 3 floors, big rooms for 2 or 3 girls, big kitchens, clean bathrooms, a rooftop with a small swimming pool, a sunbathing area and a cleaner every day! What a bless!

In Europe, girls don’t stay long in one place. They go to work for 2-3 weeks and then home to their country and back again. In that case, most of them unfortunately never feel the apartment as it’s their home, even for a short time. They never feel that they have a responsibility to clean after themselves when they move out, saying the new girl will do it anyway. Same with the dirty dishes. I personally don’t cook in those places. I rather eat somewhere or buy just a ready-made microwave food, because often I don’t want to touch anything in the kitchen. Jesus, I’ve seen a girl doing the dirty dishes with a soap bar! Not even liquid soap! Can you imagine? But at least this girl tried to do something. Most of the time girls finish work drunk, they cook and eat in the morning, but simply forget to clean after themselves. Next day they don’t remember but they are standing angrily in the middle of the kitchen and arguing with everybody because they can’t find a clean spoon! And sadly the dirty dishes stay in the sink for days until someone has enough and clean up all the mess.

Or even in Cape Town, we had a serious meeting because someone was using the toilet not in a ‘normal’ way. The cleaner was complaining because 2 or 3 times she found the thing on the floor, just right next to the toilet.. covered with toilet paper. WTF? I found it extremely funny, but still, I can’t imagine myself so drunk that I can’t find a toilet seat…

But my favourite is when the club charges the dancers for a cleaner, but we have never seen anybody cleaning the apartment. “Yes, because she comes when you, girls, are sleeping!” And apparently, she also forgets to clean, because everything it’s in the same place where we left. Including the mess.

So yes, it’s fun to live with 10-15 other girls in a small apartment. We’re used to seeing each other naked at work or in the changing room, nakedness doesn’t bother us at home either. It would be a dream of a man to live in the same place. But when it comes to cleaning, the poor guy should not expect anything extraordinary. Except he likes to be a slave. Otherwise, after 2 weeks, he would run home to his wife/mum/girlfriend to a clean, cosy home with delicious food made in a clean kitchen.

Happy 2014 to all!

I hope this year brings lots of new people, adventure and travel into my life, just like the previous one…

Someone asked me a good question and it made me think: what is my goal with writing this blog? I would just simply say to share experience, the good and bad side of this profession. Nothing else really. I don’t have journalist skills and as you can notice I don’t write on my mother language (I apologise ahead for all the grammar mistakes I make here) but I gained a big experience with men over the past 5 years. And some was really a jaw-dropping one.

I know men and women are different. The different way of thinking and different needs. And when I say I understand that, I really mean it. I’m not a nagging and yelling type of girl, and if my guy needs space, I give it to him. I’m not making problems over a few beers with colleagues after work or getting easily jealous. I understand the different problem-solving technics and I’m there for support but not asking every minute what’s wrong and try to talk about it. And I don’t even remember when I asked a guy “do you still love me?” I can say, the guy with me can feel he won the jackpot.

But I’m still single. I don’t know, maybe it’s just about luck, but I feel I always met the wrong type. Of course, I’ve read about all the expectations, that you will get what you give, follow your heart and the Universe helps you to achieve your desires and so on, but I’ve been in some very awkward situations lately. And the point I still can’t understand, why women are reading thousands of self-help books to make their relationships better, while men are more and more lazy to take their part in this. Some can be a real jerk even with a stripper (how do they behave with their girlfriends/wives then?) For example I had a customer the other day here in Luxembourg. He was nice, he usually spends some time in London so he asked me out when the next time we are both there. I thought why not, I give him a chance and I gave him my number… Then he said he go to the toilette, and he just disappeared. Without even saying Goodbye. It’s OK, I thought maybe he changed his mind or whatever. I forgot about the situation. But after a few days, he sent me a text! “Hello Lindsay, how have you been? This is Daniel. I’d love to take you out tonight for dinner and wine. Can you make it by 8 pm? Daniel :)” This time he was already in London, I was still in Luxembourg. And I wouldn’t have been surprised, but I told him I go back only in 2 weeks time. I’m wondering did he really heard what I was saying to him???? “I’m working tonight from 8 pm in the club” I hoped he realises I’m still in Luxembourg. I also told him, when I’m in London, I don’t work. “Hello 🙂 would you like we meet over drinks and we spend the evening together when you’re done from work tonight? I’m staying at the Four Season hotel in Park Lane. Where are you based in London?”That’s it. I started to be angry. Not about he suggested spending the night in a hotel with a total stranger (this kind of offers I get very often) but the lack of the minimum attention and respect to somebody he wants to spend a night with and obviously expecting an incredible amazing sex affair. “Man didn’t you understand that I’m still in Luxembourg til mid-January??????” That point I didn’t even want to be nice… “I was last Friday in Luxembourg. Btw, cannot you be more polite with manners when you type? You seem very aggressive not relaxed type!” I just started to laugh. I couldn’t believe my eyes… First I know that he was in Luxembourg as we met here last Friday. I remember very well as he sneaked out saying he’s going to the toilet. I can’t be that drunk to forget which city or country I am. And I’m the one who is not polite here???? And he feels he has the right judging my way of typing or behaviour? Pfff, please… He was wrong. I wasn’t aggressive but extremely shocked. After he said he’s going to the washroom and disappeared, he really thought that I want to meet up with him again? End of story. No more messages. But the whole situation made me think what’s wrong with men these days.

Gentlemen, even if you want nothing else but a quick sex with a girl from a bar (any bar, not necessary a strip club) do you listen to her at all? I don’t mean when she tells you the name of her sister’s dog, but basic information like how long she stays in the city? You need to know that if you plan to see her again. And in my opinion, when you arrange a dinner with someone, that’s a date. So when you want to date with that girl later, you don’t even care to impress her? I know this guy was a very bad example. Thank God, I’ve met the opposite type more often. But unfortunately, I have no doubts that he’s not the only one out there who urgently needs further educations about how to impress a woman. And I also have no doubts that there are girls that they don’t need more just to show them a few banknotes and they are ready to do anything to you, but I’m not talking about these cases and I’m definitely one of them.

Or another guy from yesterday. I just mentioned him I did 5 years belly dancing at back home.

“Oh ballet, great, I danced too!”

“No, I said belly dance..”

“Yes, ballet is good. Was there any famous ballet group in your city? Like Russian ballet?”

“Sweetie, I’m talking about Egyptian tribal belly dance!”

“Did you do jive as well?”

I decided it’s wiser to be quiet and just smile. End of the day he’s paying for my champagne. And I know the term ballet and belly sound similar and it’s easy to misunderstand with a loud music background, but I’m just wondering did he really hear when I corrected him? Twice?

I started to believe that we have some major communication problems here. Usually, women talk and men listen. But in some cases, men don’t listen at all! And they are surprised if we get upset and blame us for being short tempered. It’s really not a good point if you expect something later on from that woman. Just like the second guy, he asked if I would give him my mobile number and keep in touch. No, it doesn’t work in this way..!
So please Gentlemen, pay more attention to that pretty girl next to you at the bar that you want to date with, to your girlfriend and to your wife, and your life will be much smoother and you will hear less complain.