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Spirituality in travelling

I was thinking a lot about what are the advantages of travel. Besides I go to beautiful places, and it makes me a stronger, more experienced and more freedom loving person, it has other smaller but also an important advantage in my Life. Just, for example, my friends always tell me that I can pack my suitcase correctly. No unused place in it or no unnecessary stuff. And it’s true. And I’d like to believe that in other aspects of my Life I’m also that well organised.

During all these years of travels, I’ve learned how to live in a suitcase and use limited places and time. If something needs to fit in, it will. Even I have to leave other things behind. By that, I’ve learned the priority of things. The meaning of choice. It’s a very good spiritual practise indeed. How to get rid of stuff you don’t need any more – sometimes even people, – lighten up the luggage and the heart, not carry oversized or overweight packages.

I never carry things with me that I can buy in the shops where I go. It gives me flexibility. Do you know the kind of person who always buys the same brand of toothpaste? Well, this is not me. I’m not a prisoner of my habits. I can use any shampoo as long as it’s suitable for my hair type, contains fewer chemicals and not tested on animals. I can eat any food. And I can sleep anywhere. At the airport waiting for a flight connection, on a bus during a long drive, or on a not so comfortable small bed in a backpackers. I don’t need a king size bed and perfectly closed curtains to fall asleep. I’m not saying I don’t like comfort. I do love it! But I wasn’t born with the silver spoon in my mouth, and they say “Smooth seas don’t make excellent sailors.”

At work, I meet lots of different people. Kind or less kind to my heart. But when I finish my contract, and I have to leave the place, I take only good memories with me. The bad ones I try to leave behind. Anybody did anything terrible to me, I don’t want to carry the anger with me back home or to the next place. It took me a while to learn to let it go but makes my Life much more comfortable. I don’t stick to any personal things either. When I leave, I leave all those stuff behind that I don’t need anymore. I’m not going to carry a half-empty bottle of shower gel when I can buy it anywhere! Or clothes. They have no meanings for me. Of course, I pack fewer designer clothes with me, only those I take that I don’t mind to get rid of if it’s necessary to make more place for souvenirs in the bag.

And I’ve been in some challenging situations indeed. When I had to stay calm and not to panic, use my head, solve the problems as soon as possible and move on. And I was alone most of the time; I could only count on myself. Or I was lucky (and thankful) enough that somebody came into my Life in the very best moment to offer some help and I was happy to take it. I learned to trust and give credit sometimes to a total stranger. I learned to face problems and that in the end, somehow everything will be alright. I learned that all those difficult times are only challenges, and the show must go on. And it always does.

And I learned not to give up easily. Some places or people are worth to take a risk. And I learned to learn. I genuinely believe that every place I go can show me something new and I can learn something from all those people that suddenly come to my Life even at that very moment I don’t see what they are teaching me. But when I look back, I always find the answers to my questions. And I never forget being thankful for all.

So this is it. This is my spiritual practice during travelling that gives me wonderful experiences and on the way, I hope it helps to find the better me.

What is your favourite destination?

Visiting Hong Kong

There is no way that once I’m working in Macau and I don’t go to HK! Macau is also a small place and I visited all the sightseeing spots I wanted. I can not count how many small Chinese temples I’ve been there! And I went everywhere alone. I only took my camera with me. Even I climbed up to the lighthouse in the pouring rain because the cable car to the top didn’t work. But it was worth it, the view of the city was amazing from there! Even in the rain.

So I decided to go to HK as well alone. I checked some site before about the transport and the timetable of the ferries. I planned to go around noon, sightseeing and then watch the Symphony of Lights laser show at the Victoria harbour and after come back to Macau. But no strict program.

I arrived at the HK-Macau ferry terminal. I went outside. I had no clue which bus should I take. In HK when you don’t know the places or you don’t have known where you are it can be difficult. I only knew that first I want to go to Lantau Island to the Buddhist monastery. The timetables of the buses looked strange there at first sight.

In Macau, I’ve learned how to use them, but even my Chinese manager was impressed because he said it’s complicated. Well, it was not so complicated for me.

I hesitated a bit but finally, I took a taxi instead of the bus. I didn’t have much time to waste on figuring out which bus goes where. So I arrived at the cable car to the monastery early afternoon. The queue was huge to get on! But once I’m there I will take it even I have no more time to see other things. Here is the biggest Buddha statue on Earth which looked nice in the pictures. While I was queueing I couldn’t decide to pay for the guided tour or just go individually. The guided tour contains a tour of the fishing village nearby. I was thinking pros and contras, what I have time for, but when I went to the counter I just paid for the tour.

I didn’t pay much attention to what the tour guide said. I was alone with my thoughts and with my camera. I quite enjoyed being alone that day. End of the tour the group had a Chinese kinda afternoon tea. Two guys came to sit at my table. When we’ve got the drinks I wanted to be polite so I said Cheers! to them. We started to talk. They were from the Czech Republic. One is working in Macau but staying in a hotel in HK, and the other guy was his brother just for a visit. They told me later they have a drink in the harbour, they also want to watch the laser show and they also come to Macau after. If I want I can join them. Of course, I wanted! As more as merrier! They know how to use public transport as they are more familiar with the place! We took the subway and the guy didn’t even let me pay for the tickets. He gave me his Octopus card to use and he paid for his own tickets. How nice! Later we had a little bit of trouble to find the place where they wanted to go. To find the right taxi there is crazy! We were on Kowloon island and all the taxis we found didn’t want to go HK island saying they don’t know the place. (In my opinion, they were just lazy to took us there.) So we decided to go to another bar with a view of the harbour. One more guy joined us later. And of course, we watched the show and we had a few drinks. I started with mojitos, but I was with Czech guys, so it’s a must to drink beer with them. And it was a nice evening, not hot but not chilly at all, it was nice to have a few beers on the terrasse. I was there with 3 total strangers having fun. I even told them openly that I’m dancing in Macau. It was the case when you can show your true yourself because their opinion didn’t count as much. Probably you won’t see them again.

So we had drinks and then they started to order food, we basically tried everything from the starter menu as it was a bit late and the kitchen didn’t take big orders. Drinks, food, more drinks, more food, drinks again.. and they didn’t let me pay even one round. And we had a good laugh.

It was quite late so we went to the ferry. None of us had a ticket. The guys went to the counter and they came back with 3 tickets. Business class! I didn’t want to accept it but they didn’t take the money from me. On the ferry home, we didn’t talk a lot but very soon we were sleeping on each other shoulders.

So that was my short story when I went to HK alone and came back with 2 friends. It was after midnight when we arrived and they wanted me to get home safe. Even their hotel was not in my area, they caught a taxi and they took me home first and then went to the hotel. And before you ask, there was not a single offer or anything behind. The guy who paid everything even told me he’s happily married and he doesn’t go to strip clubs. But he was more interested in how it works. Why we choose this life? Is it only the money or there is another reason? How we apply to the club? Accommodation? I think that was the first moment when I had a clear idea about writing a blog. Lots of people who are not involved in this business can not imagine all these. And they don’t meet often a girl who doesn’t keep it a secret and who is able to speak about it freely. Myself, I’m still learning not to judge people. As also learning to care less about being judged by someone. And these friendly random strangers were a good example that I don’t need to feel ashamed and to lie about my work and the way I chose to live.

A few clouds on the Caribbean sky

Well, it seems not even this beautiful blue sky can be flawless. My last week in Guadeloupe held some hard time for me as I’ve got a big lesson in friendship. My friend I came with fell in love with a guy here. I should be happy for them. Actually, I am. But for her was always a difficult part to keep the balance to spend some time with me during travels or with the actual summer lover. Yes, it happened before. When a new possible Mr Right shows up on the horizon, she forgot about others. But maybe previously I was less sensitive about it and I lived with other girls I liked and I could have fun with them while she was away. This time we were depending on each other more. This time I spent my last days off alone thanks to her. (Alone is not fun to go to the beach here when after 15 minutes sunbathing a total stranger find you and talking to you for half an hour, doesn’t matter you pay attention to him or not) And when I got an invitation to a party she told me she wouldn’t come with me but she doesn’t want me to go either because she doesn’t want to worry about me?! PFFFF! Is it really me having extraordinary expectations from others? But I know what I would have done in this situation without hurting anybody. I’ve been in love before but I was always there when someone needed me and never showed my back to a friend. Sometimes I feel I’m losing faith in people.

So yes, it was a very good lesson not to give credit to someone who doesn’t deserve it. And I really should stop caring about those people too. Like now, I was arranging a work contract in New Zealand for both of us from September while she was away having fun. OK, I have to stop complaining too and focus on good things that could happen in my last days here. And I’ve already learned not to keep these people in my Life. If someone wants to go I even help her/him to find the door… I don’t need them anymore.

This is also part of a stripper’s Life. Especially for those who travel a lot. We make friendship with the other girls but these friendships rarely last long. Actually, I was lucky with Giselle because we were never been jealous of each other. Most of the time that is the case. I heard lots of stories that two friends started to work together and very soon they had a big fight because one of them was more successful at work and actually they became enemies. And girls in clubs come and go. Never permanent, never the same. And I learned quickly that I can count only on myself.

Who shouldn’t date with a girl who travels..

It’s a rainy morning in the Caribbean, not really a good time to go to the beach. So I’m surfing on the Internet and I found a very interesting article that I can not leave without words. Actually after reading it has a stronger effect on me than my morning coffee! The title is “Don’t date a girl who travels” Here you can read the whole article:

http://www.lovethesearch.com/2013/05/dont-date-girl-who-travels.html

There is another article about why you should “Always date a girl who travels” :

http://kittyandsanta.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/always-date-a-girl-who-travels/

Reading both blogs I recognised myself. A girl who travels “doesn’t work like a robot all day, she goes out and takes what life has to offer and challenges you to do the same. She speaks her mind. She is too independent and won’t care whether you travel with her or not.” “She lives out of a suitcase and sleeps on the floor. She’s independent and strong. She will continue to show you that being here on Earth is a spontaneous blessing with jaw-dropping views around every corner. She will continue to pursue her dreams until she succeeds, she will never give up on anything she wants. “Yes, that’s ME! These words describe me perfectly.

And you shouldn’t date me for the same reasons above if you are needy, nerdy, a momma’s boy, if you are too cautious or too insecure. I’m a light bulb in the dark for those guys, they find me extremely attractive but nothing long-term could work between us. I was reading enough self-help books about relationships but at the end of the day, I had the same conclusion after each book. A woman has to be extraordinary patient, give enough room to her man, not yelling, not nagging, appreciate every small move he does but I didn’t find a book teaching a man to be more patient, not being obsessive and give enough freedom to his woman. I got enough “I help you” and “I’ll take you away from this job” offers but none of them questioned maybe this is what I want to do! It seems hard to believe that some girls in this job have more in their head than in a doll’s head in the shopping window and we can’t take that someone tells us what to do with our lives.

I love to surprise people!

Thanks for all those years of travels and experience, I’m able to keep a good conversation (with an intelligent man). And if he is not so intelligent, the game starts. Not long ago I had a customer who thought he can buy me just like he buys a bag of apple in the market. He put all his credit cards on the bar showing all his advantage (definitely that’s all he has) but I thought he fall off the chair when I told him “you have to have more to convince me to talk to you” He didn’t understand what I mean and he was pretty upset that I refused to dance to him after all. Luckily my boss wasn’t around. The guy just called me a bitch and he left. (I’m wondering sometimes why they call these places Gentleman’s Clubs..) This guy definitely doesn’t need to date me!

As my friend from Sweden told me after reading this blog that he remembers me “not only as an extremely beautiful girl but mainly as a very interesting person to have a conversation with. As a representative of the male gender, I have to claim that some of us are able to listen even when we are affected by our feelings.”I have no doubts. I just wish I could meet this type more often.

“Why geographical cures seldom work”

You made reference to “feeling trapped much like a hamster on the treadmill” I getting the impression my very dear friend is continuing her voyage on the thread mill, the difference being is that the thread mill is in different parts of the world ie my profession calls this “a geographical cure”

These words from one of my customer from Canada who became a good friend lately. He often visited me in the club and we were talking hours about psychological issues in relationships. He was a friend, a supervisor and tutor All in One. I studied psychology at the University, and I’m telling you this job is the best psychological work experience. (I specialised in working with special needs and sometimes I feel I’m in the best place to practice.)

The treadmill I meant is more complicated. The Life is a roller coaster. Ups and downs. We have to accept the rain and the sunshine. But so many people live in the fog. Their days are grey. They wake up in the morning, coffee, traffic, work, problems, traffic, home, dinner, family, more problems, bed, morning, coffee, work…. like robots. Until someone unplugs them. They read the book Power of Now, they discuss it, but they don’t change anything.

I have enough people around me that they are only complaining about their lives and even if they have every tool to change it, it’s easier to complain and wait for the miracle. They live in a fear of losing their jobs, financial insecurity and in the shadow of banks and credits. But they still want a bigger house, faster cars, and they able to queue days to get the new iPhone S64… Those people sooner or later will get a big punch from Life. I have a good example in my family how I don’t want to live my life. My dad always dreamed about travels and to see the sea. He was always dreaming about it but never done anything for that, even these days when you can go to Italy or Croatia on a low budget, he just finds excuses not to go. And it’s sad but probably he will die without fulfilling his dream.

My treadmill was in the restaurant. I woke up, get to work, then home and sleep. Next day I started again. Long working hours and no time for friends, no private life. But luckily I quickly realised it’s not what I want. So I quit. I had the power to change what I don’t like. And during travelling, I’ve been changed.

What do I gain from my travel?

Power and Self-confidence

Not physical power but mental power. I can hold myself and stand up for myself if it’s necessary. If I want something, I don’t wait for others to do it for me. I’m brave enough to do the first steps. I don’t have a rich family behind me (although my family is very supportive emotionally) so what I have, what I reached, I did it myself. I’m my own boss.

Patience and Empathy

I’ve heard so many times that I’m so quiet. Yes, because I watch and listen. That’s the way how I learn about the surroundings. And I’ve learned a lot. Now I know how to handle an arrogant (man), a drunk (man), a childish (man), a crying (MAN!), a man with money or a man with issues. And I’m learning not to judge them.

Communication skills

Actually, dancing wasn’t my first “night” job. I did hostessing in a London club where I worked only on commission. That was the way I learned English. I was always shy to speak up because I wasn’t sure and I wanted to speak correctly. So I pushed my boundaries and started that job saying if I don’t start to speak – doesn’t matter correct or not –, I will have no money to eat. I’m still alive! 🙂

And I learned how to communicate with different people from different background and/or culture.

..and lots of joyful moments!

This is my favourite! Cage diving with the Great White sharks and crocodiles, going on a safari, seeing the Niagara Falls, climb up the CN Tower and walk on the glass floor, swimming in the Blue Lagoon in Iceland, Chinese Moon Festival, eating delicious local food and taste something different, palm trees and beautiful beaches, Octoberfest, bungy jumping.. and the list is not full!

I understand what my friend wanted to say with his words above. Maybe I’m a bit of adrenalin junky. And if this is my new treadmill, I will enjoy it! But I would rather call myself a free spirit and this treadmill simply Life. And for me, it definitely works!