advice Archives - Page 2 of 2 - HeartBrokenStilettos

In our job, every stripper knows (indeed every sales person knows) that NO doesn’t mean to reject you, only the product or the service you offer. But in practice it’s difficult to deal with. 1 NO is okay, 2 NO is okay, 3-4 and you start to feel down, 5-6 or more and you end up sitting in the corner questioning yourself “What’s wrong with me?” or worst, crying in the toilette or in the changing room. Here in Paris, I’ve seen it a lot. Beautiful girls wondering “What’s wrong tonight? Nobody wants me..” I don’t want to repeat myself but French customers (or even foreigners) here can give a really hard time for the girls being ridiculously rude and ignorant.

It happened last night that I found one of the prettiest girl, who has a 100 carats smile on stage when she’s dancing, in a changing room crying. Because she felt useless in the club. Because she didn’t make money. (But it never about only the money.) I just went to her and gave her a hug. We are all far from our family, from our friends, the customers are assholes, the girls are bitches, all we need sometimes some emotional support that we are not alone. Fuck all the practical advice that “you have to leave your emotions at the front door when you come to work, you have to be like a robot etc.” We all know that. (Although I don’t want to be a robot, I would rather cry in the changing room but still happy that I have feelings.) She didn’t need to hear that again and again, her brain already knows that. She just needed a hug. (I hope, dear men you listen very well!!!) I hugged her. Because I know the feeling, I have been in the same situation not only once and I got a hug from another girl. I would just encourage the other dancers if they see a colleague crying, give her a few encouraging words and a big hug (and some tissues) It can make a huge difference! This girl after was smiling again and she could make her money. And she was telling me “Oh you are so nice!” Not because I’m nice. Because I do CARE!

This job is purely about luck. Sometimes I feel good, I feel sexy, smiling and still can’t make money. That’s it. It’s not my day. I had Friday nights in a full club where everyone made money, I was sitting on the sofa all night. Every single guy I tried to talk to, said NO to me. Some days like that. A few idiots came to me saying “you are the hottest girl in the room, why are you sitting here alone?”Because I want to be alone right now, when everyone else is drunk and I’m the only sober person in the whole club, you want me to entertain you? Why didn’t come to me at the beginning of the night when I was in the mood for drinking??? Now I need lots of alcohol in a short time to get to your level and we’re closing soon, so no, thank you. I’d rather sit here alone and watch how you guys get wasted and hilariously stupid. I swear, it’s better than a cinema!

It’s strange but I also noticed that in a few days before and during my period I don’t work well. I don’t know why. One idiot gave me the most logical answer: “maybe your pussy smells!” Hahaha. I thought I’d just gonna slap him. In the XXI. century with all those intim hygienical tissues, creams and shower gels it’s not a case. It’s more likely to be linked to my emotional level and my body gives out the signals. At this time I can’t take any rejection seriously. I’m prepared for that.

Another day I’m just lucky. It happened before that 2 am everyone was drunk and having fun and I didn’t make a penny. I already gave up on that night. I was sitting at the edge of the bar waiting to go home. Suddenly a guy arrived and he came straight to me. “Hello, I’m Pierre. Would you like some champagne?” Oh yes, please! Bring it to me! Without asking me he ordered an expensive bottle. He was absolutely nice, easy-going, chilled out guy and we had a great time. I had maybe 4 dances with him. Then he saw a girl that he knew for before so I invited that girl to our table. We had 1 or 2 more bottles of champagne and we ended up having 18 dances each! That was a good night for me although it didn’t seem to happen at the beginning.

And I have a book recommendation at the end: FUCK IT: The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John. C. Parkin. It’s a very good book about how to deal with situations in our life simply just say fuck it to the problems and let them go. It’s a must-read!

If you’re thinking about to quit your boring office job and making money dance around the world, here are some useful advice from me:

1. Choose the club or the agency that you want to work with very carefully. Collect as much info as you can before you start. If the club is close to your area, go there with friends before you would apply and look around. Is this the environment you really want to work in? You free to talk to the girls about their work, how they like the club etc. but don’t tell them you also want to work there. From that moment you would be a rival girl for some and they might lie to you or don’t give you the correct answer. About agencies, always ask other girls if they would recommend them or not. I have a few different agencies I work with, but also some very bad experience. If you go abroad, always ask for the address and the contact number of the manager or the guy who picks up at the airport/station. Make sure someone is waiting for you. It’s not much fun waiting on the street in the rain for someone to open the door of the apartment, because the agent is busy and doesn’t pick up the phone or answer to your messages.

2. If you are really an enthusiast, you can go to a dance class before you start the job. It’s great fun after all and you can hear useful info. Taking some pole dance lessons is giving you confidence when you are the first time on stage. Or it’s possible almost in every club to ask the other girls to show you some moves when there is no customer or before opening. But at first, never try to copy the other girls and never ever try any difficult tricks on the pole! It can be dangerous, especially if you have had a few drinks before. Dangerous, and more ridiculous than sexy. Just feel free and enjoy just like you would dance in a club with your friends and smile! Nothing more boring on stage as a beautiful woman doing amazing tricks on the pole with perfect body control without a single smile. Ah, and don’t look yourself in the mirrors! Do it when you practice, it’s a big help to correct your moves, but forget about it when you perform. Keep eye contact with the customers instead! They always like the new girls anyway because you are fresh and you don’t have the routine.

3. Don’t be so impressed by money after your first night. I mean if you had a good night to start, congratulations! But don’t run the next day to the shopping centre and spend it all. If you need to invest in some clothes or shoes, do it later. You never know how is going to be the next night or next week. This job is like ups and downs, so make sure you don’t run out of money.

4. Don’t tell all your friends and relatives that you intend to make money by dancing naked. People that never been involved in this kind of work, they don’t understand and you don’t even know yourself if you will like it or not. If it’s only a trial for you, better to keep it in secret. You don’t know how your friends would react and you don’t need some unkind comments. When you tell your friends, be ready you might lose some of them that cannot accept your new lifestyle.

5. Don’t invest in expensive dancer clothes and shoes. You always can buy them later and check the price before you purchase anything online because on another website you might find the same item at half price. Some shops where you can get dancer clothes are relatively expensive too. I would recommend to buy sexy corsets and stocking for the first time, rather than an extra mini neon colour dancer dress.

And just be yourself! Be witty, flirty, chatty, smart, bubbly, kind, optimistic and smiley! Follow the rules what the manager tells you and let the girls help you. Not every dancer has an evil spirit, most of the girls are very helpful because they know and understand what you’re going through. Their first day was the same than yours. They also had lots of questions, lots of self-doubts, lots of compromises. So take a deep breath and jump into this exciting life! The spotlights are waiting for you!

Good luck!

Tag: advice

Dealing with rejection

My advice to newbies