Author: B. Lindsay Belan

(Referring to those who think you can not.)

Someone told me that there is no possibility to find a canary in a bird feeder. I didn’t know what he meant by that exactly and still don’t know. Probably he was thinking that all strippers are the same and you can’t find a nice, intelligent woman working in this industry. Maybe he just hasn’t met one. Although some girls I worked with in these 8 years spent in Stripperland are very special persons. But to see this speciality, you have to dig a little bit deeper than the fancy costumes and perfume clouds around them. You have a good talk with the customer, not only jumping from table to table “Do you want a private dance? Do you want a private dance?” I’m not a canary, but not a parrot either to repeat myself a hundred times a night saying the same things. With a bottle of champagne you build up a conversation with the client and you get to know lots of interesting things about each other.

But let’s stuck to the title and allow me to be light-hearted in this post. Nothing to take seriously or personal here. But this stripper bird feeder is more colourful and varied than you might think. Not only canaries and parrots come here to get some seeds. We also have some sparrow: she’s the beginner and she has very little idea about the work. She’s shy and usually not flashy with clothes and makeup. Sometimes she looks like a female customer in the club. Average and ordinary. And just like the sparrow, she feels better and safer in other’s company. BUT sometimes these girl has bigger success with customers than the one who works in clubs for years! Because she is fresh, innocent and naive.

We also have peacocks. Just like the male peacock, she has a colourful shiny or neon colour costume that you can spot from any corner of the room. Huge hair extension and extra long eyelashes. But in the morning in the changing room when she takes off all the artificial accessories, she looks like nothing but a huge chicken. Just like the male peacock when he’s losing his tailfeathers. Seriously, I met girls that I didn’t recognise after work without all her trimming!

What else we have.. we have Skylark. She has a sweet voice and she can chirp to your ears until you pay her a private dance. I’ve already mentioned the parrot. She’s the cool and funny one, even can make some tricks. You can teach her words, she will repeat what you said to her. But be careful, just like a parrot, often to others. And we often have crow sitting in a black dress at the bar. She is usually an older dancer who’s not happy with her job (nor with herself). When I’m new in the club, she is the first flying to me and telling how s*** is this club and I won’t make money there because of that and that reasons because she had that and that problem with this club and her list is endless. She really enjoys croaking bad omens. I don’t like this type of girls. Just because she is not happy in the current club, she tries to make me unhappy too and telling me how I can’t make money there when I haven’t worked there only a few hours. Let me see it myself!

I often meet magpie in clubs. About them, I have lots of stories! When something disappears from the apartment or the changing room and nobody has seen anything. In one club a girl took all the other dancer’s money from the apartment and she flew away the next morning. And just like the magpie, they prefer shiny things: pieces of jewellery, money, or your favourite costume. They can make the work very unpleasure, it doesn’t matter how careful you are, it’s always a risk that there is one amongst us.

My favourites are the lovebirds. They fall in love with a customer and stay in one place or settle down. I’ve seen an example of that too. Some quit dancing and have a family by now. And I’m happy if they found their happiness.

And if you ask what type of bird could I be in this bird feeder, I would say I’m a crane. I’m just sitting at the bar and keep my eyes on the water. If I have eye contact or a smile with a customer, that’s a deadly catch. With this strategy, I do mistakes rarely. But the management doesn’t understand and they want to kick my ass all the time because I don’t work. I do but in a less visible way. In this way, I don’t waste my time and I get less rejection. But they prefer the parrot girls who fly to every customer’s shoulder “Do you want a dance?”

So you can see how varied this bird feeder is. Not to mention the fact that some birds are just guests in it as they are flying away to other destinations when the winter (or summer) comes. We don’t stay long in one place if the food is gone, we just spread our wings and you might never see us again. So when you spot a special species in your nearest bird feeder, take a chance to talk to her!