The Study of the Hustle (Part 2.)

In the second part of the interview this gorgeous babe, Wendy, is talking about how to gain strength, resilience and a powerful mindset via self-development and how to reach your goals and improve your income.

How was your first private dance experience?

I honestly don’t remember, I was probably very enthusiastic, over the top, drunk and making moves to produce shock value. Lol, I’ve always loved shock value, and I’ve always loved stripping haha so I shutter to imagine what my first dance would have been like. Sorry, I can’t be more specific!

Do you remember what your biggest struggle was when you started dancing, and what is it now? Has it changed or it’s still the same?

My biggest struggle was probably alcohol and also telling my family what I do. It took me five years to tell my family that I was dancing and I was so scared! I felt like I was their little girl and that I shouldn’t be doing it. When I told my brothers, they were so supportive, and one of them even said to me that I am so smart to be doing it (which is flattering as he is a genius and writes computer languages for banks trading.) The first thing my mum said was, “Well, you’d be good at it!” I felt so relieved and couldn’t believe it took me five years to tell everyone. I found getting it off my chest made my hustle and mindset even stronger!

Now, that I’m getting older, I find the late nights are getting harder, but that’s ok, mind over matter, and when I’m making money, I can persevere. I always stay until the doors close!

If you could give only one advice to baby strippers, what it would be?

Start journaling, researching and learning, treat this job as a career. Save of course, and invest your money. You can learn to become a stripper who earns consistent excellent money. You can create your future; you can invest in yourself and your life and be independent in all ways. Take control of your life, take control of your mindset and create a beautiful life and future! You are responsible for your life and get to know yourself, including, what you want, what your passions are, what you want to build and create. If you don’t decide, someone else will do for you! And that’s no joke!

Some girls hate themselves for doing this job. They belittle themselves; they poison their relationships around them, cut their family bond; they become bitter and start using alcohol/drugs. How do you keep yourself healthy and mentally stable?

My road to happiness has been long, and I have put an enormous amount of work into my wellbeing. I am not perfect, and I still work at it all of the time. I have invested a lot in personal development. I have a psychoanalyst, whom I have seen twice a week for over five years. I find connecting to self fascinating. It builds strength, resilience and a powerful mindset. I also do many other facets of self-development, including working with my beautiful coaches, both supporting me on a personal, business and spiritual level. I feel very connected to the universe, and I believe I have a strong intuition. I find it essential to connect to and listen to my inner guidance; this helps to keep me centred and happy. At times I judge myself harshly, then I remind myself, to allow everything to be as it is, and that if we are made of the same matter as the universe, why judge myself when it makes no sense to judge the universe. We must accept all parts of ourselves, even our shadows as they play a role for us as well! Spirituality, self-acceptance, self-development and overall enjoyment of life is a different journey for everybody. For me, I love to explore this as the changes I have made have been profound; many people notice. My life has improved in all areas, from abundance, health, family, relationships, spirituality and purpose. It is confronting work to delve, but it is priceless.

I have explored, psychoanalysis, coaching, kinesiology, breathwork, plant medicine, Reiki, other spiritual practices. I don’t discriminate. I also love fitness. It helps me on a mind and body level too, I like to keep up with fitness aiming for 4-5 times per week and daily walks. It helps to maintain, my body, a positive state of mind, grounding and also sleep and generally elevated moods. I also love to eat a very healthy diet, 90% plant-based and some seafood. I don’t eat other meats or dairy, and I love to listen to my body and what she needs. I don’t eat to excess, I feel all of these little pieces to the puzzle help to maintain a happy and healthy life, and this is reflected in work as it attracts abundance as your efforts are broadcast energetically.

As I mentioned earlier, I was never a hard hustler. I’m not qualified to teach how to do the hustle right, but I can tell a lot about the negative thoughts in my head that often stopped me from making the desired amount of money. How and why did you start coaching? You have also studied specific courses and are very passionate about hustling. What kind of classes did you do to maximise your earnings and to be able to help other dancers?

As I have been mentioning, any work where you can develop yourself as a person is useful. I have studied NLP life coaching, hypnosis, other energetic courses, body language courses, one on one professional sales coaching, spiritual and business coaches etc. The list goes on! I had picked what was relevant from all of these studies and combined that information with my own experience of nearly a decade of dancing. I first started this journey to help other dancers, when a colleague of mine hadn’t made any money in weeks, like literally. I gave her a few tips and bang! She made over $1000.

I continued to do this with many dancers and thus began my journey of educating myself to feel confident enough to coach appropriately. This included not only months and months of study but about two years of analysing my hustle, including what works what doesn’t work? Logging everything, recording myself doing endless hustle roleplays and investigating that. Finding patterns and creating systems. I am confident in hustling and maintain a consistent income. I want to give back to an industry which I love, which has given me so much. I want to see everyone make money and increase their confidence as I know it’s possible, only it takes work. I want customers to leave the club having spent their money and to feel positive about the experience and interaction, wanting to come back and spend more time and time again! Our industry is needed, and it is fantastic, and I genuinely want to give back and help everyone involved to make the most of their experience, whether it be the dancers or the customers!

Can you tell us more about your tailored coaching?

Yes, I conduct via Skype. They are tailored to each individual’s specific needs, so in our initial chat, I identify where there may be some issues. I love to focus on two sides of the hustle. One is the mindset, and the other is specific sales/hustle techniques and strategies. If there is some limitation interfering with the ability to hustle strongly, for example, lack of confidence, anxiety, poor beliefs around money or low self-worth etc., I address those using specific mindset techniques, and then I am clear to coach on proven strategies. There is no point giving hustle techniques to someone who suffers, for example, high anxiety and doesn’t feel comfortable approaching customers, let alone persevering after they hear a no! Our job is 100% commission, and if you can’t approach people or hustle confidently, it is a hard jam, and some dancers can become entirely effected.

If for example, you have no dramas approaching customers, however, you struggle to convert conversations to dances and upselling, I identify this and give appropriate structure around the selling side of the hustle. Everyone is unique, and I help to facilitate each individual to reach their goals and ultimately improve their income and enjoyment of their career and quite often their life outside of work as well.

My website will be live very shortly, as of July 2019. It will have free audios designed for mindset while preparing for work and also for winding down after work. Also, information detailing my interactive workshops available in Australia are in person.

Thank you for the interview, Wendy!

The Study of the Hustle

To be honest, I was never a hard hustler. Some men like the straight approach “do you want a dance?” while others hate it. Dancers do rounds in the club with this approach; they tend to bounce from guy to guy. I like to observe. Sometimes the management is pissed off because it seems I just sit and don’t do my work, but I make eye-contacts. I can feel who’s intrigued enough. I don’t know if it’s good or not, but it works for me.

I’ve never done coaching for my fellow dancers, but I never turned my back to those who were asking for help or information. I genuinely believe the sex industry needs more and more people who come out of the shell and talk openly about personal experiences because being judgemental and pointing out a finger never helped anyone. Because of social stigma, sex work can be a lonely activity.

Luckily, many girls, like Wendy offer to coach and you can ask her about anything you’ve always wanted to learn. Once you are in the business, then do it well! Right?

Tell us a little bit about yourself, where do you live, how did you start dancing?

Hi, my dancer name is Bunny; however, in my everyday life, people call me Wendy. I grew up in Brisbane, for the past seven years I live in Perth, Western Australia. I am 34 turning 35 in November. I grew up practising gymnastics and soccer and always had an active boyish type of energy about me. I have four brothers and no sisters. I always felt drawn towards the stripping industry and often checked to see if I had a dollar coin in my purse if I ever passed a peep show. I studied a bachelor of science once I left school and during this time, I wanted to be a stripper; however, I suffered terrible body image and also chose very abusive boyfriends, my confidence was shot! I used to occasionally visit strip clubs and feel in awe of the beautiful dancers and how their life must be. One night, I think my perfect chance and serendipity (only upon reflection) I was out partying and fell victim to a random glassing (the attack was aimed at somebody else) my lip was almost cut off. I received compensation, and during my reconstructive surgery on my mouth, I also opted for a boob job. I was so broke and focusing on survival and my studies, I never in my wildest dreams thought I could ever afford this! I understand everyone is different, this was my body image issue, and nobody ever saw me naked until this point, and it was one month before my 25th birthday. This event changed the course of my life. I finished my study and worked as a genetic scientist for several years, and moonlighting stripping on the weekends. Eventually, after nearly four years of working two jobs seven days, I was getting burnt out, and so I decided to quit my day job and focus purely on my stripping career. (This was a very intense, tough decision; however, I am glad I made it.) My life started to elevate, and I had never been happier. I realised this is what I am meant to do, and I felt in flow and alignment. Now I have been dancing for 9+ years and have not returned to science.

The first impression is essential. How do you approach customers and convince them to pay you?

I have analysed the entire hustling process, from approaching the customer and all of the fine details involved in this process to converting the conversation to dances and finally onto the upgrades and extensions. It is a very detailed process, and there is no magic one line, that will help you to make money. You must be aware of your entire self, from grooming, body language, body placement, facial expressions, voice tonality, your self-talk, vibe and aura. It can be a simple process or a very complex one, depending on how you want to look at it.

Our brain decides on how we feel about someone when we first meet them within the first 4 seconds. We have already determined whether we like or trust this person, what their intentions are. Whether or not they are a threat or whether they are likeable? Our brain does a massive amount of work during our initial contact with another human, and that is why we must pay attention to the message we put forth in that initial interaction. People only (generally) want to do business with people that they like and trust and that is why we need to express this message without saying “Hi, please like and trust me!” via our body language and subtle ques. 60-90% of our communication is non-verbal, so being aware of this is a must!

One other thing regarding first impressions; your self-talk and internal environment play a huge role in your approach and first impressions. A positive or even neutral, non-reactive and open mindstate is your best weapon as a strong and consistent hustler. This is my favourite topic, as this is where all of your strength resides, this is allowing you to excel in this profession.

Convincing them to pay you is a whole other kettle of fish. I will mention the big picture of this without getting into detail. First of all, we must find out what the customers like or want and deliver this back to them. No point trying to sell someone a book when they want a jacket! So, find out what they want! That is your job as an entertainer. It is not what you can get; it is about what you can give! It is the customer’s night, we are their entertainers, with a giving mentality you will not meet with scarcity. If you are focused on what you want and what you are not getting/or can get etc., that is a scarcity mentality. People can smell it on you, and you will express it unconsciously and therefore come across as somehow a threat or untrustworthy and off-putting. Always remember, it’s about what can you GIVE not what can you GET! I have a formula which makes it easy to convert conversation into lap dances/cash, which incorporates this mentality into a natural flow. It is versatile; however, it requires a small amount of groundwork to put into practice.

How to keep customers longer in the private room? What is the best way to keep them interested in paying more?

To keep your customer longer in the private room, interested and paying more, you need to establish a connection. Again, if you have found out what your customer is after, you need to deliver this. I have done my own market research with customers over the years and the top reasons our customers visit us are having fun (banter, hype, commonality, the shared sense of humour) and sexual connection (flirting, seduction, flattery, dirty talk or fantasies etc.) and usually a combination of the two. If you can find out exactly what they are after and deliver this to them, you have a customer who will not want to leave.

As a cherry on top, to offer them an authentic YOU where they can see the real you and they in return can be themselves (this can be rare these days) you will be offering them an invaluable service, and your pay and their appreciation will reflect this!

My website will be live very shortly, as of July 2019. It will have free audios designed for mindset while preparing for work and also for winding down after work. Also, information detailing my interactive workshops available in Australia in person.