Well, it seems not even this beautiful blue sky can be flawless. My last week in Guadeloupe held some hard time for me as I’ve got a big lesson in friendship. My friend I came with fell in love with a guy here. I should be happy for them. Actually, I am. But for her was always a difficult part to keep the balance to spend some time with me during travels or with the actual summer lover. Yes, it happened before. When a new possible Mr Right shows up on the horizon, she forgot about others. But maybe previously I was less sensitive about it and I lived with other girls I liked and I could have fun with them while she was away. This time we were depending on each other more. This time I spent my last days off alone thanks to her. (Alone is not fun to go to the beach here when after 15 minutes sunbathing a total stranger find you and talking to you for half an hour, doesn’t matter you pay attention to him or not) And when I got an invitation to a party she told me she wouldn’t come with me but she doesn’t want me to go either because she doesn’t want to worry about me?! PFFFF! Is it really me having extraordinary expectations from others? But I know what I would have done in this situation without hurting anybody. I’ve been in love before but I was always there when someone needed me and never showed my back to a friend. Sometimes I feel I’m losing faith in people.
So yes, it was a very good lesson not to give credit to someone who doesn’t deserve it. And I really should stop caring about those people too. Like now, I was arranging a work contract in New Zealand for both of us from September while she was away having fun. OK, I have to stop complaining too and focus on good things that could happen in my last days here. And I’ve already learned not to keep these people in my Life. If someone wants to go I even help her/him to find the door… I don’t need them anymore.
This is also part of a stripper’s Life. Especially for those who travel a lot. We make friendship with the other girls but these friendships rarely last long. Actually, I was lucky with Giselle because we were never been jealous of each other. Most of the time that is the case. I heard lots of stories that two friends started to work together and very soon they had a big fight because one of them was more successful at work and actually they became enemies. And girls in clubs come and go. Never permanent, never the same. And I learned quickly that I can count only on myself.
I've got some private message from guys who know both of us. They also know it's not happening the first time.. And that I should talk to her as friendship is the most important after all.
No worries guys, I will! But when I'm angry at someone I rather not to talk to that person because I know myself and I don't want to say something to her that I should not. After a few days I will let her know my view on the things but firstly I need time to calm down. Right now I'm just not interested to get into a yelling match because I can't control my own anger.